My dad won't accept the fact that I have ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12 years old in 7th grade and have been on adderal XR ever since. I am now 15 and I recently did some research out of boredom one day on ADHD and discovered many problems that I have dealt with every day of my life.

Equipped with this information and a few books on ADHD, I went to my dad to try and explain to him how it effects my behavior, attitude, and feelings. I wanted my dad to understand that I do care about the rules and I do care about having a clean home, but he refused.

He claimed that I was using the books and the disorder as an excuse for everything. I even showed him pictures of PET scans and read him the scientific reasoning and everything but he still won't have it. He says I am using ADHD as a krutch.

I just wish he woud support me and help me throught this. I wish he would accept the fact that ADHD is not an excuse for everything...it's an explanation for everything. What should I do to prove to him that it isn't entirely my fault? :confused:

I am so sorry that your Dad can't accept what is going on. That is the problem with the "disorder" is people think that you are just lazy or flakey. But in fact you are probably very intelligent but your mind can't organize itself to get certain things done in the way "the normals" or more linear people do things.

I also recently sent an old friend a copy of a book on ADD. I told him to read it and then maybe he would understand why I am the way I am.

I have not heard back from him. He is one of these "linear" people who does not understand that this is a real issue. I suspect he would accuse me of using ADD as an excuse for my behavior rather than one of the root causes.

Is there not another adult, teacher, counselor who could have a conversation with your father about this?

You definitely need help at this point in your life.

I am impressed, that at your age, you not only did some research on the subject but that you had the guts to discuss this with your father. You should be proud of that fact.

I hope he comes around for you. But some people cannot accept others who are a bit different.

Good luck!

Been there - now my child is going through it even worse than I did! Wow! Been on both sides now...heard all of my young life "lazy, never make it, slack, wierd,etc." But guess what? The truth is that ADD's and ADHD's are really bright people! We just have to find out spot in the world. This too shall pass and you will be the wonderful person you are now, but with your own check book! LOL. But seriously, I am sure your Dad is afraid for you, as parents often are! But you will be a success in whatever you choose to make your own. Have faith in yourself and come out swingin' I know it is a struggle - but you will "rock the house" in the end! I know because I am now a leader in my community, respected for my unique approach to things and called upon by professionals. Plus, now I "rock the house & have my own checkbook, plus a handsome and great husband!" This will be you too~!
Good luck, love and keep the faith...

((((hugs))))))

I've been through that too. People do not want to understand or accept ADD or ADHD because there is no blood test that you can take to say yeah, you got it or no, you don't. And the symptoms are symptoms that we all have at some point or another in our lives. Tell an older woman about your ADD symptoms and they laugh and say, "WEll I got it too then cause I forget a lot". They think they are being funny or cute and it only serves to frustrate me more. Because they don't understand that ADD is not just merely forgetting something or just not paying attention, that it goes much deeper and more of a profound level. Often people just cannot understand that yes, we can forget things that fast, and yes, we get sidetracked and nothing gets done or distractions are so bad that we can't get anything done. It's very emotionally draining when you run across someone like your dad who doesn't believe in it or chooses not to accept it.

My two boys are ADHD and it is like SO obvious that their dad is too, but for years and years their dad REFUSED to accept that there was such a thing as ADHD. He said that I was "Trying to make his sons not be normal everyday little boys". You see, he was so hyper himself and his brothers that he thought that this was NORMAL to run into walls and jump out of your seat and climb trees and fall and break an arm." That was being a "normal everyday little boy." When my boys stayed with him he wouldnt' even give them their ritalin. They would come back to me total messes.

Just remember, that you are not going to convince some people of our disorder, and that's that. Put it off to that your dad just doesn't get it. My mother doesn't get it either. And bad thing is, she's ADHD and still doesn't accept that "I" can't help my mistakes that I make due to the ADD. Just chug it off and know that you know and God knows and there are people out there like us who do know and understand. I guess it goes back that they can't understand if they haven't been through it. As long as you know and accept yourself for who you are and love yourself, the others might hurt that they don't accept it, but you will get by. for you.

As my best friend taught me, I will say to you:
As long as you can pass that woman in the mirror every morning and can face her, you'll be allright. But if you can't face her, you got problems that you need to work on."

I couldn't look at that woman for a long time. But over time and acceptance that I have a disorder called ADD, I can face that woman in the mirror and I am very proud of her for working so hard to understand and face the ADD and deal with it! And you should too!

Hugs to you,
Tammyshell

Hey don't feel bad. My dad never would either. He always thought it was ridiculous that I had to take medicine for it even though my doctor told me I had a severe form of it and likely would have it for the rest of my life. I have much improved since then and don't take medication anymore but I do still have the symptoms and wish my doctor would allow me to take medication for it again but unfortunately he won't allow it. I suffer from Major Depression as well and he says that inability to concentrate is a symptom of depression so if we get the depression treated that the inability to concentrate should go away.