My husband takes 2 glcophage a day. Other than that he does absolutely Nothing to care for himself. He thinks he's impervious to serious illness. I can see myself alone within ten years or less. I don't Mind being alone; I just hate to risk my health at the hands of my older daughter without husband to protect me. She is one angry person. And I will miss him so.
He has cut his toe cuticle with nail clippers; last year it was a finger. It's pink, swollen and today had infection oozing onto his sock. It was getting So much better until 5 hrs of golf today. He calls me a "fatalist" as I nag him about amputations. Laughs at me.
So, there is our future. Not an enviable one. Non-existent, actually.
Thanks for listening. It is appreciated.


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Susan Gene

I am sorry, but there is nothing you can do to help your husband. He will have to accept his diabetes and take measures to take care of himself. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink! Same with your husband.

A person who does not take care of himself is only asking for complications sooner or later and they will not be a pretty sight.

All you can do is encourage him in a non-nagging way.

Take measures now to remedy the problems with your daughter. I am sure the two of you will be able to work out your issues. It is never too late to try.

Susan,

How are your husband's BG numbers? Or, does he take them? It is very hard to manage diabetes if you do not test. Have you tried to get him into a diabetes education class? I understand the Joslin ones are very good.
http://www.joslin.org/jnationwide/sites_nationwide.shtml

Ron

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Type 2, diagnosed Feb 01, Prandin (GlucoNorm), Diet & Exercise

Hi Ron. He did the paper (needle thingy) test twice; last year. He is impossible. His last (second) A1C was 8% . If he doesn't understand it he doesn't worry about it or treat it.
I did a bad thing. I found a lot of Cipro pills and he is taking two daily. I put Glyoxide on the corner of the toe when he gets out of the hot tub. I have this helpless, alone feeling I have to shake.

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Susan Gene

For a diabetic the A1C should be less than 6.5%. You have to somehow convince your husband that his condition is serious. Does his doctor not warn him? Prescribe a meter so he can self test?

With an A1C of 8% he is in the second highest stage of Type 2 diabetes and is likely at the point of not making enough insulin (glucophage or metformin will not stimulate insulin). See Table 3 at this link:

http://www.aafp.org/afp/20010501/editorials.html

There is a lot of good information at these links:

http://www.joslin.harvard.edu/education/beginnerguide.shtml
http://diabetes.niddk.nih.gov/
http://www.diabetes.org/type2/type2.jsp

You may want to print out some of the information and try to get him to read it.



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Ron

Type 2, diagnosed Feb 01, Prandin (GlucoNorm), Diet & Exercise

Ron, I have no idea what the doctor said because I wasn't there. The endocrinologist left town !
I think one reason why he isn't worried is that his father lived to be 78 and was insulin dependent at that time. He died of pancreatic cancer 'cause he was a heavy smoker. I think my H would be happy to live to 78; longevity has never been one of his goals. He also tends to act like the entire amputation/blindness threats are just a way for doctors to make money. And he reasons, I believe , that we all have to die from Something. I fear with him it'll be cancer since his aunt had it and his dad. He just wants to enjoy eating and drinking his Cokes while he can. I don't think he'd adjust well to restrictions on diet. He'd rather eat what he wants which is a very short list of foods.
I guess it's a different philosophy than most have.
He doesn't even believe in vitamin pills. He would remark about the Marathon runners who'd drop dead regardless of exercising.

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Susan Gene

You may want to try posting your problem here - possibly under the "Family Matters" section. Your husband should not assume he will make 78. We just went to our next door neighbour's funeral. He had diabetes and took reasonable care of himself, but never got weight under control and was liberal with the foods. He made it to 74 and the last couple of years were not very nice. He ended up dying of kidney failure.

http://chat.joslin.harvard.edu:8080/~diabetes

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Ron

Type 2, diagnosed Feb 01, Prandin (GlucoNorm), Diet & Exercise

[This message has been edited by Ron AKA (edited 10-19-2003).]

[This message has been edited by Ron AKA (edited 10-19-2003).]

Hello
I had a friend, now dead, that refused to believe that he needed to take care of his diabetes. He had both legs amputated. He lost tremendous weight from acetone in his blood. He never took care of himself. He refused to do anything and he believed that Diabetic Neuropathy was a lie from the doctors. The one thing that did help him was, I told him of my neuropathy. He then believed that it existed. After that we talked and he listened. But it seems it had to be someone he knew that had the disease that could confirm the diseases are real. He believed the information in his later years. The point I have "Is there any friends or anyone he knows that has diabetes? This might help if he will listen at all. His numbers are dangerous. It will not be long before he will show signs of the complications, if he does not control himself. It takes years to develop complications but if he complains of his legs hurting or numbness. If he sees a streak of darkness in his eyes that can not be wiped away; or if he looses energy and is tired all of the time. These are signs of, Diabetic Neuropathy, Retinopathy and Nephropathy. I have gone through all of these. I have a thorough understanding of the beginning signs.
Don http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif.

Don, I will say he is much more tired than I am. But when he's helping our carpenters he's quite energetic. When they go to lunch he often naps.
Hard to guage how tired he is. I can't spell guage.
He always gets out of bed by 7am-8 at the latest.
Doesn't mention his vision but he is 62 and doesn't have to wear glasses.
My daughter, a nurse, told me to stop buying popsicles
and Little Debbies. That they're making him worse.
My son in law to be is only 42 and smoking has given him chronic bronchitis. He also drinks too much beer. My H never drinks a drop or smokes.

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Susan Gene

He sounds healthy as a horse, So to speak. This is probably why it is hard for him to believe that the dangers are possible for him to get. So only time will tell. He is not in control according to the numbers. But the development takes time and he could live long and not get these problems before he passes. But he could enjoy more of life with a little better control. I hope that someone he trusts can help him believe.