Okay, here we go..

Despite of having many friends and virtually no real problems I almost always feel depressed.. It has been like this for 4-5 years now, a lot of the time I just want to die. My problem is that nothing interrests me anymore, everything I see and hear feels old..

my symptoms: :rolleyes:

depression
suicide thoughts
low energy
always tired, no matter how much I sleep
clouded mind, bad memory, cannot concentrate
low appetite ( sometimes just one meal per day )
nausea ( early in the morning, if i manage to eat something )
inability to cope with stress
increasingly non-social behavior
social anxieity
loss of interrests ( everything from guitar playing, school, books, etc... )
little or no motivation ( sometimes short bursts of MEGA-motivation )
easily irritated
underweight
vitiligo ( loss of pigment, ossibly stress related )
some joint pains
locked jaw when I wake up in the morning
tremors ( fingers, whole body then taking sit-ups )
low sex-drive
urinates too often
low self confidence

Is all of this just depression, or could there be another source of my problems.. ? Thanks for any help..!

And also, english is not my native tongue, so please excuse any weird spellings.. :)

You asked if there might be another source of your problems. Of course there's a reason why you're depressed, but you have to figure that out. All sorts of things can contribute: hormonal changes, losses, allergies, thyroid problems, too much sugar, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, etc. The symptoms you've listed, point to anxiety and depression. Have you ever taken drugs for those problems?

I do have allergies, and I do drink some alchohol, but only once a week or so.. I have not been in contact with a doctor about my depression as I am somewhat afraid of anti-depressive drugs.. That they make you emotionless and zombie-like in character.. The source of my depression may be that I was rejected by my only love in life some years ago. I always feel my worst when I meet her and in the following weeks.. She knows of this though, and I've broken all contact with her since 1 1/2 years ago..

I've tried natural medicine, but without any conciderable luck.. My only form of meditation is creating music, and doing that requires that I have an "open mind" if you know what I mean.. I've heard that anti-depressants and composing music don't go well together. Allthough making music doesn't give me anything anymore, it was once my whole life, and I want to get back there... I do terrible in school also, evn though my IQ is high (130+).. :o

I'm 23 years old, by the way..

I'm sorry about your love life. I still feel badly about my old boyfriend after 20 years! I think of him as the love of my life - where I truly belonged. I left him too, was was thet worst move I ever made. I always figured that I'd end up back with him, but it didn't work out. But, I know what you mean - that kind of heartache changes everything. As hard as it is, you have to find a way to move on. What's the chance that she was the only person you'll ever love that way? There will be others if you're open to it.

Antidepressants are notorious for stifling creativity. Do you know who Stevie Nicks is? She's a musician who, while addicted (her words) to Klonopin, couldn't write music or had a very difficult time of it. You're also right about them making you emotionless and zombie-like. It doesn't necessarily happen to everyone and some to a lesser degree than others, but, it seems to me, that's pretty much how these drugs are supposed to work - to render one less capable of having ups and downs. Lots of people complain about that though. As humans, we're meant to feel pain and joy - that's life, but some of us just don't recover from the pain as well as others.

What kind of allergies do you have? I know that certain allergy medications can cause anxiety as a common side effect. Do you also have food allergies, say, to gluten? Are you on any other medications?

Sheesh, just edited that. I'm too tired to be writing right now, I guess (lots of mistakes.)

if you have had those symptoms for that long you might be lookind af MDD major depressive disorder or possably GAD generalized anxiety disorder. Of course I am not a doctor and I am just speculation. Oh as for the zombie side effect, currently I take 4 antidepressants and I do not wander around zombie like. Anyway talk to your doctor.

take care
trg247

Thanks for the replies!

I've tried to be open to other girls, but it's hard to force it. I know she problably wasn't the only one I could fall in love with, but it always feels like it... Sorry to hear about your 20 years, Schupp, must have been hard for you.. I feel just like you, that I've lost the love of my life.. I wasn't even really happy before I met her..

I've never heard of Stevie Nicks, but I can certainly relate to her experience. I got much of the same just by using natural medicine versus depression. Knowing that the "ups" will come is sometimes all that keeps me going... Creating music is the only thing I can concentrate ( a bit ) on, can't imagine life without..

I have only allergies to grass and birch trees, the medicine for this caused some tiredness, but not anything severe.

Go see a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist. He or she should do blood and other tests to rule out thyroid problems or other issues. If the doctor decides to try you on antidepressants, don't be afraid, give them a chance. I take Prozac and it hasn't numbed my emotions. Quite the opposite, I feel more alive! It usually takes a month or longer for the drugs to start working. And if you find that the drug has bad side-effects or is making you feel a way you don't want to feel, you can always stop taking it (with your doctor's counsel of course). Also, everyone reacts to medications differently, so one drug may not work and another may work wonderfully. And finally, if your doctor recommends it, get yourself a good counselor. Counseling is as or more important than drug therapy to recover from depression.

Keep us up to date!

Mojo, you should speak with a phychiatrist on this, best of luck, pinkeetoz