There are so many thing that I notice in retrospect, now that we know about Liam's autism. One that I've been thinking of lately was the total refusal to breastfeed. He hated it from the second he was born. He used to struggle and try to get away. He bit so bad, that even though he had no teeth, he made me bleed. He lost weight fast (He was born at 8lbs 13oz), so we gave him a bottle. He loved it immediately, and still, at almost 3 years old, it is his most reliable comfort tool. (not good, I know, but sometimes you just let it be. The kid's going through enough.) I thought the problem was with me at the time. But when Kaya was born 2 years later, she ook to the breast right away, and was successfully breastfed.

I'm convinced that LIam just couldn't handle the over-whelming physical contact the breastfeeding required.

Have you guys had similar problems, or were you able to breastfeed you children successfully?


Suzy

if your son is severe enough with tacile discomforts than i think that you have really hit on something there. our son never had any difficulty with contact until he was about 2 or 2 and a half and then he did not want to be hugged... of course we thought it was because he always wanted to be on the go:) and he does:) but he also HATES the sensation of being restrained at all even if whats going on is affection and nothing more it still feels like he doesnt have control over whats going on to him.

there are tons of cues that we now look at and go "oh my god, why didnt we see that!" but i really think that objection to breast is one that you couldnt pick out as a sign at that early age. it makes a ton of sense with what our guys go through and i think you have hit it dead on with the problem with your son. of course that will only give you one more thing to look for if you have anymore children:) as it is, with our nearly 3 month old i am always testing his eye contact... the rest of the family thinks i am paranoid but that is how isaac started out. i am considering him borderline NT until proven otherwise:D i give him a 50/50 chance of being "normal" that way i wont be disappointed either way. ofcourse there is the problem of our parenting, i am pretty sure that will exclude him from being "normal" anyhow;)

Hi Liz

Liam also hates to be restrained in any way. We've been lucky enough to find a form of affection that he is very comfortable with. we call it Daps. It's like a high five, but you tap your closed fists together. He enjoys it, and uses it instead of hugs and kisses. I'm so glad that he's now able to show us physical affection so comfortably!

My daughter turned one on Friday, and just like you, I'm constatly looking for anything resembling ASD. Any time, she does the little social things that he can't do, I feel so relieved. When she was teething she tugged at her ears, and I panicked a little bit. But she is really wonderful, and very social. She's even beginning to talk! What a blessing! Liam loves his sister and we just feel like our family is just right, with the two of them.

Suzy

my son didn't like to nurse either, he would cry loudly,thats when me and my mom figured out that something isn't right.

I am a mother of 3 boys 7,5, 2 and 1 girl 2 months old. My 5 year old is ASD. I had the opposite problem He loved to breastfeed. I normally start weaning at 13-15 months without a problem. But Cadence did not want to stop it was a comfort. He was a little over 2 when he finally stopped nursing. I also have a crib with the railing taken off and pushed against my bed so are beds are joined like one, for easy nursing or to take of the sick. but it was very hard for him to transition to his own bed- hard for us too, for he doesn't participate in our family, It's the only time he really acts like he knows us, but we new we had to get him in his own bed, One thing I have learned is almost all ASD kids don't like what there not used to. So get them used to it!! We spent the whole first 31/2 years doing what Cadence was used to. Until my other children showed me that if pushed and stubbron enough Cadence can get used to many things! If he had his way he would go every where naked, but since I know he can't and demanded he whare clothes he does. I guess what I am trying to say is if you want to hold your boy than do it. If he fights you just sing, talk and hold on and even if it takes years he will get used to it and in time want it.

Hi Brandiof4

I agree with you that if we are stubborn and stick to our guns, we can teach our kids to adjust. But, I don't think that I could push him to be physically affectionate with me. He's really, really comfortable with the degree of phys affection that we have right now. I'm just so happy that he's giving it. Don't get me wrong, it's not that Liam will never touch or hug us. It just has to be on his terms, initiated by him. It the un-requested touches that make him uncomfortable.

my son, like yours doesn't like when things don't go his way. on most issues, I do manage to out last him. I admire your patience and will.


Suzy

My son is ASD and I breastfed him for almost 8 months. He did well and enjoyed the contact and tried to use me as a pacifier. He still doesn't mind physical contact, but it usually has to be his idea. :) Take care!

Brandy