Hey all..heres a litte story that i would like everyone to hear, so people can understand more about opiates and there powerful way. My experience with oxycontin has been roughly about a year and half all gotten illicitly off the streets. Ya know i cant understand why i first started taking it, but i have always loved pain pills for quite sometime. Never got addicted and i guess never thought anything of the dangers that oxycontin has to bring. Started off like everyone else only needing 10-20mg to be highhhh and dam did it felll sooo gooddddddddd....so i continued my use on a twice a week thing. (so i thought).....a few months later (now i have been using everyday and my tolerance was higher) i was still up to my ways of snorting oxycontin..now not 10-20 but 40-50....and of course as another month went by i was up to 160mg per day 7 days a week. All of this may i remind you was illicit use. Well, my habit started takinng over my financial situtaion , all i thought about was how was i goign to get my next pill. Eventually , if i did not have oxycontin for any part of the day i would start withdrawing (the usual--stomach, restless legs!!! headaches, insomina the whole thing)......Honestly, from the second i woke up i was "excited" to get high like it was my best part of my dayand it was!. BUT I knew i coulDNT lead this life anymore. I was becoming unsocial BUT was actually very conent with getting high and chilling the f out. But i new it would bite me *** later on. One day about 2 weeks ago i was like thats it i need to stop ( MORE DUE TO FINACIAL THEN ANYTHING).. My money is gone and all i think about is oxycontin. I wanted to get help. SO i saw a doctor who treats addiCtion and those sort of medical needs and presibed me to suboxone. I new about the drug before entering his office and found what docotors prescribe the drug by googling suboxone or going on there websiste. Well i went on a thursday night after cancelling 2 previous appts. He wrote the scripts for suboxone and ambian for sleep. I was nervous at first to get them filled. It semed like all i new was oxycontin and how to get high. So i prolonged taking my first dose till tuesday of the followwing week. well i be dammed, the drug actually does work. No pain in the legs, no nausa, no stomach pains, no chills it was very amazing. Of course i didnt want to go form one pill to the next but one step at a time rt?...i took ambian that night as well 10mg...wasent enough..need 15....Well today is day 2 of being oxycontin free and my body feels great but i tell you, i want to snort oxycntin like you have no idea. Suboxone does supress the cravings for sure, but i miss the euphroic feeling like no other. I want to stop talking it just to get high just once!!! But i feel so lucky that i have this medication and want to take full adavnatdge of it. Tom will be day 3 heard it is the most difficult. Hopefully i can stay clean. Thanks for listenting it means so much

Adam

Thats the addict coming out in you saying just one more high! I cant tell you how many times I have said and done that. Trust me you will get better and it will be worth it. I would really take full advantage of the sub I couldnt get on since there are so few Dr's around that can prescribe it and they can only have 30 patients at a time so I had to go c/t and suffer through the w/d's I will only get better you are getting the right help that you need. Now if you can tell that addict voice in your head to go away and that you dont need that one last high it will get better. everytime you start to think about the pills go out and do something go for a walk, pick up a book, go for a ride in your car just keep your mind bz on something besides getting more pills and you can beat this. Good luck. Kim

Joeyallin - great description of how oxycontin addiction creeps up on you and then takes over. It is like poison ivy. The more you scratch the itch, the worse it gets. Pretty soon you are itching all over all the time and you just about go crazy with the itch if you don't scratch it all the time.

Day two; ya ya... as you are starting to realize, the addiction is huge and more than just getting the drugs out of your system physically. Make sure you get support from knowledgeable people. NA is pretty good if you are really determined to stay clean.

Kim explains it very well. Even the most determined recovering addict can be taken down by the "just one more time" thinking. It is bizarre, but when you fall off the wagon "just once" the slide back into addiction is so fast and you often end up deeper than you were before you got clean. Weird and frightening.

It sounds like you understand the addiction. Use your smarts to keep away. The bug is in your body now and it will always be there.

thanks for the support and the responses. Day 4 today...doing great....i guess.....Yesterday was the third day i was on suboxone, took 4mg in the morning, 2mg mid afternoon and a 2mg at night around 730pm. 8mg total, seems to be my dose where i feel somewhat stabilized. Took ambian once again in the evening before sleep and it knocked me rt out. Intrestingly enough i woke up thinking how bad i wanted to do OC. Well this was my plan------not take any suboxone for 24 hours at least and then try the opiates. To my surprise throughout the whole day i have had no withdrawal symptoms at all except for the occasionaly hot flashes (which iam haveing rt now). Its 830pm on a friday and have yet to take my first dose of suboxone for the day. Still debabting whether or not to do get high. I was surprised that not taking my dose of suboxone didnt kill me (as in withdrawals) to bad unless it will occur 2-3 days after no suboxone, which i have heard is what generally happens becasue the bup binds to the receptors so tightly. So maybe if i do OC tonight, there is an outside chance i will not to get high (trying hard not to do it!)...but i will try my best not to do anything at all. Reading and writing on these forums has really helped me to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. happy friday everyone and enjoy the weekend!

-Adam

thanks for the support and the responses. Day 4 today...doing great....i guess.....Yesterday was the third day i was on suboxone, took 4mg in the morning, 2mg mid afternoon and a 2mg at night around 730pm. 8mg total, seems to be my dose where i feel somewhat stabilized. Took ambian once again in the evening before sleep and it knocked me rt out. Intrestingly enough i woke up thinking how bad i wanted to do OC. Well this was my plan------not take any suboxone for 24 hours at least and then try the opiates. To my surprise throughout the whole day i have had no withdrawal symptoms at all except for the occasionaly hot flashes (which iam haveing rt now). Its 830pm on a friday and have yet to take my first dose of suboxone for the day. Still debabting whether or not to do get high. I was surprised that not taking my dose of suboxone didnt kill me (as in withdrawals) to bad unless it will occur 2-3 days after no suboxone, which i have heard is what generally happens becasue the bup binds to the receptors so tightly. So maybe if i do OC tonight, there is an outside chance i will not to get high (trying hard not to do it!)...but i will try my best not to do anything at all. Reading and writing on these forums has really helped me to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. happy friday everyone and enjoy the weekend!

-Adam

The drugs are lying to you, Adam. Stay away from them. They will get you in the end. You can't outsmart them.

Boy adam I wish I could just throw away everything for one last high!!! How great it would be! Dont use just let it go maybe your not on enough sub you might need more. I really hope you dont waste this opportunity,

good luck.

Adam-
Today is June 3rd and I am 4 days into taking Suboxone. I am feeling okay. I did lots of research and asked lots of questions before I finally decided I'm going to do this..not try..DO IT! Unlike you I started taking Vicodin 10mg and Soma for a messed up back I have. Unfortunately that is neither here nor there now. I got to a point where I didn't know what was true pain or what was the med's. The doctor has started me off on 2 mg. of Suboxone every 12 hours and tomorrow he wants me to up it to 4 mg. every 12 hours. I go in Monday for a follow up. He also gave me a sample box of Ambien CR 12.5mg each pill. I was to take 1 before bed. I did that and I hallucinated..it was crazy!!! Things turned different colors and everytime I'd close my eyes even for a few seconds I see weird crap! It did it the first time and I thought it was the Suboxone...lol. So I took it the next night and the same thing happened. I also got the worst headache of my ENTIRE life! It was so awful I had to put a heating pad on my head and I fell asleep that way..stop laughing because I know you're picturing that :D . I did look that funny too! I finally fell asleep and slept for the first time in several days...15 off and on hrs! What dosage has your doctor started you off at and where are you now with it? I have to figure out my plan off attack on my insomnia. I'm sorry to ramble but you're the 1 person that I've found who is taking this at the same amount of days I am. And truthfully it's nice to have a friend on here who is right beside me and not judging me. I have great sopportive friends but you know what I'm saying as far as the judging goes. If they've never been in our shoes then they just CAN'T fully understand. Well thanks for listening and I hope to hear from you. :)

-A