In the past month I have lost my brother in law and my cousin back to back. My mind and body just can't seem to take anymore. I have been walking around going through the motions of life and not understanding what is going on. I am so angry, and tired. I just want to crawl under my covers and not come out. Today I found out that my father who quit drinking about 8 years ago after it caused a major health problem is drinking again. My heart broke when I realized he was drunk. I decided to email him and tell him what I felt about his drinking, and tell him that I could not be a part of his life as long as he was drinking. I feel like I am loosing everyone and everything in my life. I can not go through this anymore. All I ever do is cry or get angry about what is going on. Why can't things just go right? Why is this happening to me and my family? Can someone give me any insight on what I should do? Should I turn my back on my father?

I wrote my dad an email today telling him I had never been so disappointed in him. I told him that I felt that he was killing himself, and that I wanted him to be there to walk me down the isle, and to see my kids grow up. I also told him that I have never been so scared that he wouldn't be there for those things. At the end I told him that I wouldn't come around until I knew he had quit drinking or was trying too. But I feel like crap because I love my dad. And I am now so afraid that the email is just going to make it worse and I will never see him again.

You know, it is never too late until you die. I have learned that through my life. If you love your father, tell him so. Don't judge him for his drinking. I know it is hard. My second husband was an alcoholic. The difference was he didn't care about anything but the bottle. I had to leave to keep my safety. I learned that he has to want to quit more than anything. You shutting him out is only going to hurt you more. Ask yourself, can you live with your decision if something were to happen and he was suddenly gone? Sometimes that helps to get a perspective on things. I wish you the best and hope you will rethink your decision. I would give anything to have my Mom and Dad back to talk to. Try to go to an Al-anon meeting, that could help also. God bless you, honey.