New to this board. I have been reading it for a month now. I want to thank everyone for helping everyone else. My mom (68) has Stage IV NSCLC and is not taking any treatment just pain medicine. She and I are to familiar with LC because two years ago we lost my youngest sister to SCLC. She was 39 and she would fight and endure all her treatment and still smile. I took care of her and after all her treatments had finished she lived 1 month. My mom is very aware and is very comfortable with her decision. I have now moved in with my mom. She sleeps alot and eats very little if nothing. She is inrolled in Hospice which I can't say enough about.
I would like to know about the end of life symptoms, I know her fluid intake is down because her urine is in small amounts and very dark. She is very confused when she first wakes up. Some days she sleeps for 22 hrs of the day and others she is up for 6 hrs a day. Most of the time she is in bed watching TV when she is up. I have learned everything about NSCLC & SCLC but my sister went fast day and a half. She formed blood clots and was put in the hospital and druged up. This will be different and I thinking she will slip in to a semi comma and I would just like info on what some of you have experienced. Thanks for listening!

My heart goes out to you,I lost my mom to sclc on Feb.18th 2006.She was in hospice care 2 weeks before she passed.I, like you, moved in with my mom .My mom had alot of good days in the end.The day before she passed while we were sleeping I woke up to a gurguling sound.She also woke up and said she had to pee.We had her pot at the end of the bed,but this time I couldnt get her there because she couldnt help me at all.Not even any upper body strength.Her blood pressure had been low and every time she would sit up, she would be dizzy and confused and sometimes shakey.(the nurse said lay her back down when this happens)I called my husband for some help.Anyways she really didnt have to pee, she just thought she had to.In one of her confused moments she sang holes in the floor of heaven to me and talked alot about her mother and alot about the pretty flowers.I knew that something was about to happen.I got her laid back down and I sat up .She started gurguling again, I called hospice.They said lay her on her side and they would be out in the morning.Well morning came and the sun come out and mom wanted to go outside in the sunshine.I told her maybe she should wait until the nurse came and checked her.She looked at me and said I didnt have a good night did I?I said no moma you didnt.She said punkin im ready to get dressed, so as I was getting her dressed the nurse came and checked her and said she had a little fluid in her lungs and called her in some lasiks.My mom told the nurse she was ready to go outside, so the nurse is like ok have a nice day,well i had already called our immediate family because i just knew.As I rolled my mom down that ramp,into the sunshine,she had tears rolling down her face and she said Its the little things in life that is taken for granted like the sunshine.My aunt had come up and was talking with mom.I ran the nurse down and told her i felt like this was her last day and I was scared.The nurse said no she was doing to good and that she couldnt justify a 24 hour nurse to come out while she is sitting outside and doing so good.I got upset and told her I would call her supervisor because I knew my mom was going.Well she said she would get me a nurse and said the nurse would be there about 4.I enjoyed the rest of the day outside with mom.I got a call about 3:30 and it was the nurse asking if mom was still outside I said yes but shes really tired now and Im going to take her in.She told me she cancelled the nurse because she just couldnt justify it.I told her I would call someone else and speak to them about her.Well as I was getting mom laid down there was a knock at the door.There before me stood the most beautifulist angel.It was the 24 hr nurse and she said she never got a cancellation call.As soon as she walked in moms bedroom mom woke up and said hello angel.
after the nurse checked her she came and talked to us and told us her lungs were filled up with fluid and her blood pressure was very low and it wouldnt be long.My mom was in and out of sleep and the nurse said the longer she slept the more likely she wouldnt come backto us so we kept waking her up I asked her if she wanted to hear some music and she said yes so we all got out the guitars and sang some of her favorite George Jones gospel.After we sang(mom sang too)the nurse said she had a fever and her blood pressure was very low.She asked everyone to give me and mom some time alone and after everyone left mom put her arms up to me and as I laid on her hugging her she told me not to be scared and that she was tired now.I kissed her and told her it was ok and to go dance in heaven with daddy...and she did.I know this post is extra long but I believe when its your moms turn you will know.

Hi mshero,
I read serinitys post and had to cry. I had both parents die of LC in May and they were very different when they died. Mom had a lot of pain with her cancer and Dad didnt. He had a lot of fluid build up and not being able to breath issues, she didnt. Both of my parents knew the end was near. My mom was bedridden the last week she was at home due to the tumors pressing on her spine. She was on methadone for pain and morphene for breakthrough. Once she was bedridden she was confused alot of the time. She would say crazy things and then she would realize what she had said. Im sure partly from the meds and probably partly due to lack of oxygen to her brain. She woke up one morning and called out to my sister and I. We went to her room and she said she had had a dream about my Uncle who had died years earlier. She said she knew her time was very short and she had her first tears but said she wasnt sad. We got to say our goodbyes at that time. We had to put her in a hospice house a few days later. She was drugged up alot. She did know who we were but couldnt speak very well. The nurse told me that her knees and feet would start to look mottled when the end was near. Her hands would also get cool. The night before she died she was in bad shape. She could barely talk. I went to see her the next morning on my was to work and she was not concious. She had that death rattle that everyone talks about. The nurse said she wouldnt last but hours. She opened her eyes about 15 min. after I had gotten there and then she just died. Dad died in the hospital getting his lungs drained. He knew he was dying as well. The night before he died he said that he dreamed Mom was pushing his hospital bed around the halls. He also told us his goodbyes that night. The first time for him. He didnt ever talk about his death. The next morning he was given morphene to help relax him so he wouldnt panic, he lurched up for a second and then he was gone. It wasnt painful for him or a terrible drowning thing like we worried about. Very quick. I hope the end for your mom is as peaceful and quick when the time comes. Its still very sad and I cry some every day. They were both in their 70's but the pain is just as intense. I miss them but they are together where they should be. I will say a prayer for you and your Mom. You're in my thoughts.
Becky

::tears::

I hope my father also goes peacefully.

Hi,
I just read you post and had to reply. What you explain about your mom is the same as what my FIL is going through. He does not eat much and sleeps all day and is very weak. We are now looking into hospice care. It is so hard to see him fading away:(

Saying a prayer for you and your mom !!!

Take Care!

I am overwhelmed at all of your responses. I cried to at each of your stories and am so hurt for all of you. I do know our loved ones who die are at peace and in a beautiful place. It is us who suffer from the loss. I pray for all of you and hope you all feel at peace :angel:

Hello....I had to wait a couple of days to reply. I am the caregiver for my hubby...my cowboy, best friend, lover, soulmate.
If I can share a caregiver sentiment over the cyber-world....amen. None compares to the RfL(Relay for Life) just returned from our second Relay for Life. This time I worked real hard at raising funds by selling luminaries and "feet". I raised $250.00. It doesn't sound like a lot but if you calc some people donate $1 and some $50....well...

My SIL and fiance came down from Bloomington IN to join us. It was a surprise for my Bud. And, OMG....was he surprised. hehhe....I knew about it...LOL
My home team of Old National Bank was so good!! Our CEO came down this A.M. totally unexpected...to greet me...talk to me. Meet me. And my main boss was with him. She lost her ggrandma to breast-cancer. We all hugged.. imagine that.. emmmm.. me low in rank and stuff. But, it was somewhat of an epyphany....for me. I don't mean to be selfish.....but thank you Lord Jesus for this opportunity. For the first time, Bud saw his "luminary" all lit up. I decorated it with a guitar, cowboy hat, campfire stickers, tent stickers...a "Love You Forever" sticker....
There are some that have gone before us...and lost their loved one. I KNOW I will be walking that path myself...someday. It is SOOOOOO...painful to admit this, but I am sure there are several of us in that same position as myself. I am so sorry for those of you that have treaded this ground already, and I thank you for anything you offer to keep us strong...those of us that are still crossing that bridge. God Bless us all. I think of you all each day and thank the Lord for this place to come "home" to.

Blessing, healing, love, peace, and strength to each...

Jan

Hi just wanted to thank everyone for their support. My mom has changed today. She woke up very confused or mellow she said she wanted to go shopping. It use to be her favorite past time. She only stayed up a short while and looked almost like she was off somewhere else. But she was very calm and she kept rubbing her fingers. Her words were a little slurred and very calm. I think she is slipping from me.
Does this sound familar to anyone. After I cried by myself I also became calm. My younger sister passed two years ago and I'm woundering if she is helping us. Only God knows! I am not at all ready to lose her.

I am so sorry to hear that your mom is slipping away but will pray it is a peaceful exit. I read a book called Final Gifts written by two Hospice nurses and they said what we see as confusion is often a person's way of telling us they are leaving us (dieing). You said your mom's favorite thing was shopping well saying she wants to go shopping maybe her way of telling you she is leaving you. You also said she looked like she was off somewhere else and perhaps she was as that too is common near the time of death and there is a strong chance that she is seeing your younger sister as many people near death do see loved ones that are dead. Some once again say it is just confusion but I feel it is more as do the authors of the book. I have worked in health care 24 yrs and have seen many people on their death bed having coversations with dead loved ones and acting like they are there in the room. I can still picture a 92 year old man all alone in the ICU dieing and looking past all of us talking to his mother and telling her to wait that he was coming and a short time later he closed his eyes and died. I believe the spirit goes on and that at the time of death we are able to view that world before joining it.

I would like to leave you with this that I saw in one of the books I read.It was written by Rositier Worthington Raymond who lived 1840-1918.

Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our site.
I do not think any of us are ever really ready to say goodbye.My thoughts and prayers are with you. JanMarie

I think your right because she is so calm. I can not believe how people like you can make such a difference to people like me. Are you sure God isn't behind these boards! Thank you Sooooooo much and I know God talks through people like you.

My mom started changing about a week before she died. She knew something was happening as well. She shared everything with us. She, too, was just different. I hope you have the opportunity to be with her when she passes. To me, it gave me peace because I know she wasnt alone. Death was not so terrible for her. I still cry everyday but Im not as scared of death as I was before. I pray for you to have strength. Im thinking of you.

God bless you JanMarie. As you always are, our voice of sanity in such chaos.

I have been thinking about you, Karen, Trish, Cam, and Kim and Renea and Pat and so many others that are new here. When I walked Fri nite in the Relay, I lit a candle in the name of all of us. I think I have to agree, God is behind this board.

Take care all, love and hugs and prayers and healing....
Jan