:wave: Hi, it has been awhile since I have posted but I have been reading and am so sorry to see all the new people joining the group as this is not a group one really wants to join. If you are a member of it it means that lung cancer has touched your lives and your life will be changed for ever. :(

We are still waiting to hear the results of the chest CT my dad had 3 weeks ago. He called his primary care doctor but they could find no record of it so were suppose to look into it ( it was ordered by the urgent care doctor at Kaiser which is the HMO they belong too). Thus we wait, I have noticed when I am down there that he seems to be more tired then normal so that concerns me.

My mom is still having problems with her platlets thou her WBC have been ok since starting the neupogen. She also takes procrit ( of course last night I saw Dateline NBC where they did the story of counterfit drugs and procrit was one of them ). She looks very tired and says she feels exhausted but she still manages to get out of bed, cook, clean, do some gardening and go shopping if needed then pays for it by being too exhausted. Her hair has gotten real thin so she will not go out without covering her head with a scarf , hat or the wig. I don't think it is as hard on her as the first time she lost all her hair but it does effect her some . She seems a bit more confused but manages to hide it well. Her doctor has decided to change chemo from 3 wks on 1 off to 2 wks on 1 off as she just has not been able to make it to that 3rd dose yet. Next month will be the 2 year mark since she found out she had lung cancer.( NSCLC stage IV).She hangs in there the best she can and tries to live as normal a life as she can.She will hopefully be feeling well enough to go to her grandson's graduation on the 22nd.

I think about many of you that have been here a long time like myself often and hope that you are doing ok. I know that Stan, Bud and Bec are probably worn out from treatment like my mom and pray that they are able to have some good days too.Once you get to 3rd line chemo and beyond your poor body has paid a steep toll. Jan, how are you doing ? I know you have been having some health issues and pray that you are ok.

I am hanging in there and had been spending my time between work and mom's chemo designing costumes for the Big Dog Parade. Big Dog sports wear that is from Santa Barbara hosts a huge dog parade every year for the past 12 yrs. The money goes to charities. (remember folks this is California!) One of my dogs and I have been in it for 10 yrs and sorry to say yes they dress in costumes. We walked with the agility/ flyball club and did Casino Dogs based on the painting Dogs playing poker and won Best In Parade with a gift package worth $5000.00 which we will auction off among club members to make money for the club. I wish there was a way to attach a photo as you all need the laugh it would provide! People line State Street downtown to watch the parade and they were all howling as we passed by! I needed to get out and have some fun like the parade as despite my mom's cancer and my dad's wait for CT results life does go on. All you caretakers especially the new ones do not forget to take care of yourselves, get out every now and then and have some fun. My prayers continue for each and everyone of you that comes to this board. ;) JanMarie

Hi-
So nice to see a posting from you...I have not been on lately and so it was a nice surprise to see you just posted something. I am sorry to hear you are STILL waiting to get the results of your dad's scans. You know I truly worry at times about HMO Insurance. I have a friend who is having kidney pain and blood in her urine and she calls me to tell me about her appt. and tells me the doctor think she has a thyroid problem. I told her that is not the problem at hand! She tried to convince the doctor of that too, but with no luck. So to make a long story short they called her with the results and told her that her thyroid is just fine so something else must be wrong. You must always look our for youself and push what you feel is right.
Yes, can understand your concern of your dad sleeping more...I know you must be so worried and the waiting is tough!
Wow, congrats to your mom for 2 years...I hope and pray Stan gets that too! Good the doctors have a treatment cycle that will work for your mom. I think it is great how they can adjust to one's body and work with it. Your mom is like Stan...pushes and pushes themselves. But...you know honestly if Stan could not do things then he would not be happy and I am sure that is the same with your mom. I feel as though I know your mom and I know I don't live far from her so I want to get in the car and go visit her as I admire her fight and how exciting she will be at the graduation! How special for her and everyone else. I know that will be a beautiful day for everyone, but I know things might not be as good if your dad is not feeling well. I do pray the results will be good for your dad.
I love what you are doing with the dogs...how fun and so Southern Cal! Last week we drove to Fashion Island (Newport Beach) for dinner and at the crossing light there was a couple riding bikes and the man had a child carrier attached to his bike, but there was not a child inside, but a dog with a beautiful collar. We all chuckled and thought only in Southern California would you see this. Enjoy and have fun and good you have a way to release your stress and make some time for you!
Stan is hanging in there...more aches and pains which concern us. The lucky thing is that the chemo he is on right now gives him no side effects! He goes for 3 weeks every Monday and then has 1 week off. We know the chances of this working are slim, but since it is not making him sick it is worth that small chance for it to work! We do know since he has more pains we know things could go bad very quick...so enjoy every moment. I have learned if I get him out of the house everyday it makes him smile more and he is not as depressed. It is good for him to laugh with friends and we do more of the spur of the moment outings. I have to share this with you....I won't lie...I have a sweet tooth (so does everyone else in the family too) so last night after dinner my son asks what is for dessert and I tell him we have nothing and then I was doing dishes and I mentioned to Stan there is not a sweet thing in the house. He goes upstairs even though he was in some slight pain and gets dressed and tells me to get in the car with him. I thought we were going to go get another parakeet since ours just died yesterday. Anyway, he drove to the bakery to get me my favorite slice of cake! I told him he did not have to do that and especially since he was not feeling well...he got teary eyed and said but when I am gone no one will do that for you so enjoy it now. He is such a sweetheart....and has a huge heart. When we got home my oldest was so surprised when we walked in with pastries and asked why...Stan said because no one will do this for mom when I am gone so you better learn from this....how heartbreaking. Anyway, sorry to have gone on but wanted to share that with you.
I miss all my friends here on the posting board, but have been so busy and overwhelmed lately. I have even had my aunt and close friends calling and calling wondering why I have not e-mailed. I am always saddened to see new members and feel there pain.
Please keep us posted on your dad's results. Hang in there!
Wishing everyone a beautiful week filled with love and good times with their loved ones.
Kim

Kim, I am glad to hear that Stan is on a chemo that is causing no side effects. The doctor did offer to change my mom to a single agent, navelbine which he said does not have all the harsh side effects like the Gemzar/Taxotere but he also felt that it may not work as well . Despite the side effects my mom seems to be pretty stable so she told him she would like to just continue with the current chemo and do 2 wks on 1 off which is how she has been getting it since she has never made it to the 3rd dose.

Yes I do think Stan and my mom are alike in the way they push themselves as my mom also would not be happy if she was not able to do things. Back with her first line chemo ,the recurrent pleural effussions (until she had the pleurodesis), then the pneumonia she spent most days just sitting and said several times if this was what she had to look foreward too then she was not sure how long she wanted to continue. But with treatments for both issues and a change to Tarceva all that changed and now despite the chemo fatigue she just keeps pushing herself and living life.

Your story about Stan taking you to the bakery to get you your favorite piece of cake is so sweet. Thanks for sharing it. I hope your sons turn out to be like their dad as he is a great example of how a man should be!The more stories I hear about Stan the more I feel I know him and know what a great guy he is..but that of course makes the fact he has cancer that much sadder! I too have a sweet tooth so really enjoyed your story,do you think Stan can get me a piece of cake??

This afternoon the doctors office called my dad and first they said the CT had not been read! My Dad told them it has been over 3 weeks so then she said well it was read but they are waiting for someone else to take a look at it and will call when they get the results. They must be seeing something and I am thinking it could be something serious or not that common if they are waiting for another opinion. I just hope they get back to him soon.

Well I do hope that you and Stan have a nice week. You can even tell him he is my hero for taking you to the bakery! ;) JanMarie

Oh how good to see you both Kim and JanMarie.....

I cruise through here every day and read all of the new postings from all of the new people. It breaks my heart to see the new names....I pray harder, and add to my list.

Bud is holding his own also. He has worked so hard around this house, not wanting to leave things unfinished for me to take care of. One of the things I really enjoy is being around water. I cannot begin to describe how hard it was to get our above-ground pool ready for summer. But he persevered, with my help and it is now crystal clear and warm thanks to a solar blanket he purchased for me. Tonight I took my first dip and it was...WONDERFUL!!!!
He was asleep on the couch after having treatment earlier today. I woke him carefully to share with him how great a gift he gave me and how good it felt to just float, dive and swim. I knew it was the love he has for me that provided me with this beautiful release. What a stress-buster. He knows he did good even while semi-wakeful. He is a wonderful husband. I pray God will keep him on earth for a while longer. I know that I will be so lonely without him.

Kim, I pray Stan will show some improvement with the treatments he is on now, and JanMarie....I so admire your ma. She is someone I would love to meet. As a matter of a fact, I would love to meet each and everyone of you. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have a get-together? Like the Star-Trek fans. They have this annual thing where people come from all over the country. A centralized location is picked so that is equidistant for each.
It's a shame that this is not a possibility for us, but this is still "home" for me and grateful for it.

You are all dear to my heart. Take care, get rest, pray, laugh, make memories, cherish each day.

Love,
Jan

Just wanted to let all of you know that I too look daily at this sight. I AM JUST SICK that there are so many of us dealing with this terrible disease. I want eveyone to know how much I admire all of you and the strength you all exhibit. It somehow makes me feel a little better to know I am not alone. My husband and family are wonderful-- but I find inspiration here. I pray and think of everyone often. Take care!

Kim

Hi JanMarie and Jan...
Been thinking about you JanMarie and wondering if the results have come in yet??? Happy to hear your mom is staying strong enough to continue with treatment even though it is altered a bit. I do hope you have some good news. (this posting board could use more of that!) I still think it is wonderful too that your mom is on the 2 year mark and has been able to enjoy her husband, children and grandchildren during those 2 years!
Jan I think that is wonderful what Bud did for you with the pool...reminds me of the things Stan is doing for me. When you say Bud is holding is own....does he have aches and pains? Stan has had a bad couple of days and he told me today he thinks the liver will be the death of him. He tends to get more and more pains in the liver. We also noticed his skin looks different over the last 4 or so days. (hhhmm) I do hope Bud gets stronger so you can have many more years together! Enjoy your pool!
And for Kim003 thanks for your thoughts and prayers!
I do hope and pray everyone has a good weekend. (can you tell I want it to be Saturday now?)
Kim

Hi Kim....yeah...Bud reminds me of your Stan and the pastry story...that's why I shared the pool story. God bless them. I am so sorry to hear about the pain he is xp. Bud is still not coughing up blood, but sometimes the bad pain in his left lung is very present. I try to stay hopeful but also realistic. I hope to think that the test will show at least some slowing down. That would be my birthday gift (june 28th) and Christmas early. My glass is half full, not half empty. I have him here today. We laughed tonight with me trying to get into this floating chair he bought off of Ebay. I am only 5'2 and our pool is at least 4'2 or a little more. So I had to climb back up on the ladder and dive onto the thing, which toppled and wow.....it was so much fun. I am such a clutz...and he loves me anyway. He is my hero and so is each patient and each caregiver. What a life God has picked out for us, but He did and so we go on. Let's all stand together and we are strong as such. I love you all.....

Jan

Jan and Kim, What can I say I love hearing the stories about Bud and Stan. They both sound like such great guys and I pray everyday that God grants them both more time with their loved ones.

Before I leave for work, yes it is time for another weekend of work so today is my Monday not my Friday! I just wanted to say that we still have not heard what they are looking at on my dad's CT. If it wasn't a weekend I would ask one of the doctors here if they could read it if I got a copy then get a copy of it next week but being a weekend and night shift I probably will not see any doctors that I know well enough to ask. I am also not sure I would want to be the one to tell my dad what I learn as that is what happened with my mom's original CT. It was a Sunday and when I got to the hospital the nurses paged the pulmonary doctor on call and I talked to him from my mom's room via phone and he told me they saw a large tumor in her right middle lobe of her lung. My mom and dad were both watching me as I talked to him so the minute I was done they wanted to know and I knew how not knowing was killing my mom so I was the one that had to tell her! It was not easy as I have never been trained to give someone bad news like that so I do not think I really want to do it a second time. So for now it is back to the waiting game. I am thinking maybe they are seeing some type of aneurysm or something more like that but we shall see. I will let you know when maybe I should be saying IF we find out. I hope you both have a great weekend. JanMarie