Hello,

My Mother is just 49 yrs old... We were told she has Stage 4 SCLC 3 months ago.. Today, we were faced with a decision to try Chemo again or Just address the pain and let it go.. As I write this, tears are coming down my face, and I still can not believe this is happening.

She is a smoker of 30 yrs... it finally caught up to her.

I have been lurking the forms here for a while, and just decided to post tonight.

Can anyone here give me advise on the Big decision we have to make? Chemo or Hospice?

She tried Chemo once already and didn't react good to it. she also missed a couple appointments. Since then, the cancer has become very aggressive... we now have to decide to try again or call it quits... The Dr's are leaning toward calling it quits, and I think we should try the Chemo again.

They say It may not work, but we don't know unless we try again right?

Ultimately my Mom has the final decision.. I just cant bare not trying everything possible to extend her life. Dr's say her quality of life will suffer... at least she will be here right? Why not try the Chemo again? Why are the Dr's so against it?


I'm confused... I know she will suffer side effects, but if it extends her life its more than worth it

Sorry to hear about your Mom. When you are dealing with the advanced stages of lung cancer the decision to just live out what time you have left or do chemo in hopes that it may buy you more time is always a tough one to make. You are correct in saying that your mom has the final decision as it is she who will have to deal with anyside effects and possible poor quality of life if she does have them.

You said she missed a few appointments last time, I assume you mean chemo appointments? Was it due to blood counts dropping or other bad side effects or did she just decided she did not want to go for what ever reason, like did not want to feel sick that week etc? If she was non compliant with her chemo I can understand why the doctors may be saying what they are. For chemo to work one has to be compliant and get the chemo on time unless there is a medical reason to hold it.

You are correct in saying you never know if it will work unless you try. My mom was 80 when they discovered her NSCLC Stage IV and due to her age the doctor tried to talk her out of starting chemo. He felt at her age it would be too difficult, and seemed to have the over all feeling that she was old and old people die. My mom has no other health issues, was a non smoker and was active so the doctors attitude pissed me off but my mom seemed to take it as a challenge and told him she would do chemo because she was not just going to sit there and let the cancer win. Next month she will be a 2 year survivor and as I write this she is outside in her garden working. She is on what will probably be her last chemo agent and has days of fatigue but to be honest outside of fatigue she has not really had many problems with her chemos. Just recently a study was published that says healthy people over 80 tolerate chemo just as well as young people and my mom is proof of that.
My mom does not regret the decision to do chemo as because of it she is still here and still living a good quality life. Her first chemo and other cancer realted issues did leave her wiped out where she could not do anything and she did comment if this was how life would be she did not know if she wanted to continue, then came what was her miracle drug, Tarceva and the world changed for her so you never know.


I think if I was your mom I would try a different chemo and if I do not tolerate it well either ask to switch to a different one and see if I tolerated it better or ask to stop treatment. But I am not your mom and that decision is not mine. I am your mom's age and several times my moms doctor has said if it was you that had the cancer I would be more aggressive so that makes me question why the doctors seem to be leaning towards calling it quits for your mom.

I will pray that your mom is able to come to a decision and that what ever she decides it is the correct decision for her. It does not matter how old you are or how old your mother is as loosing a mother or knowing she is dieing is a tough thing to deal with and none of us wants to say good bye to our moms. God bless you and your mom and help you to accept whatever decision she makes. Come vent here when you need too as it does help. JanMarie ;)

Hi,

I can understand what you are going through. My mom (age 65) was just diagnosed with stage IV NSCC in April. The spot is so small they are just going to watch it before doing treatment. My sister and I could not understand this. They said they don't want to waste the chemo that they have available on such a small spot. They will wait until it grows or spreads. I have talked to a lot of doctors and nurses about this. I pray that this is the right decision.

I cannot imagine my life without my mom. I would want her to do anything she could to keep her here longer. You never know. Miracles happen! Maybe the new drugs will work on her. What does she want to do?

Keep us posted. You and everyone on this board are always in my prayers.

Kim

You said she missed a few appointments last time, I assume you mean chemo appointments? Was it due to blood counts dropping or other bad side effects or did she just decided she did not want to go for what ever reason, like did not want to feel sick that week etc?


She missed appointments because she was in too much pain to go to the hospital. The cancer has eaten away at her hip, and its in several places in her back.

So we took her to the hospital again for the pain. Here is what has transpired on the last 2 weeks.. She got a Staph infection from the port the Hospital installed in her chest, then got pneumonia. She then had a blood transfusion.

After that, the pain had become unbearable in her back so they gave her meds... that night she was transferred to ICU because she went into repertory failure due to an overdose. She is supposed to be in the best of care at this place. I wish we had not selected this hospital. (Washington in Fremont, CA.)

They are giving her another round of radiation (a 10 day treatment) Then she will be moved to a convalescent hospital. My experiences with these convalescent hospitals have not been good. Most people I have read about die shortly after going to one. (within weeks)

Me, my brothers, and my step dad have all expressed our interest in her trying another round of Chemo. (a 2 month session once a week) She has not yet made a decision. I feel we are running out of time :confused:

She looked 100x better yesterday than she did just 2 days ago. I am concerned however because she is not eating.

Update-

We just found out today that she has 3 tumors on her brain now. Chemo is probably out of the question. It has spread so much, It may do more harm than good.

We got this news today after the Dr told us just YESTERDAY that her CT scan of her head was fine. Dr told my mother and we were all relieved. I can not believe this Hospital.

It almost seems like they are overwhelmed or something.... Kinda like they have never seen this before. I have so much anger directed twards the hospital/Dr's, she is supposed to be in the best of care.. not the worst. :confused:

Sorry to hear the latest about your mom. It sounds like she has really had to put up with alot already. Really sorry to hear what hospital it is as I have several old friends that work there. One of them use to work down here with me then moved to Fremont and that is how I came to know the others.

As much as we would like to not believe it bad things can happen at any hospital.While care should be improving that is not what I am seeing. It seems the younger generation is trained to look at machines and numbers and does not look at the one important thing the person. If I had a dime for everytime a nurse or even medical resident has called me in a panic and said someone is low on oxygen and I walk in the room to find a person with normal heart rate, normal respirations, that looks pink and is able to carry on a conversation sitting in the bed I would be able to retire! What they saw was a low reading on a pulse oximeter but they never looked at the patient as that would have told them their machine was in error! I find it very frightening that they can not assess a patient without using machines to do so.Most of my coworkers who have been around as long as I have worry what health care will be like when we are old and in need of it.

How do you get a generation that is driven by technology to look past it and really look at their patients as you can learn so much more by doing that?


I have had issues with my mom's care so am thankful that I at least understand most of the medical things going on so can watch out for errors or problems.

I wish we did not have to deal with poor medical care along with cancer but that does not seem to be the case, does it? I will continue to pray that your mother and the rest of your family find some good days ahead. Take care JanMarie

Update-

Me and my brothers have decided to Move my mother to Stanford Hospital after she finishes her radiation treatments. Its also something she wants. I really feel sorry for any patient that has to goto Washington Hospital.

We have had to deal with the following.

- My mother went into respertory failure after almost Overdosing on Pain medication. She was transferred to CCU and they were able to save her.

- she got a staph infection at the hospital that required a blood transfusion which resulted in pneumonia

- They misread a CT Scan and told us her head scan was fine.. the very next day they told us they missed 3 tumors on her skull.. (Even though my mother had been complaining about headaches)

- No one has helped her take a shower in over a week and a half. me and my brother had to do it over the weekend.

- the Dr returned my phone calls after the 7th message I left for him.

- The Dr also wanted to transfer my mother to a convalescent care home.. .she is in too much pain to even move around. This place has 3 beds per room, 1 TV, and no supervision. A total Dump.



I know there is no cure, but the care and medicine has to be better than what she is getting now. We made a mistake taking her to Washington that I wish I could take back. My Grandfather is a Dr over there and we thought she would get the best care.. what a Mistake.

She has 5 more days of radiation, then its off To Stanford. I'm really concerned about the tumors on her head.

I hope there is something that can be done to ease her pain, I hear Stanford has a ton of experimental Drugs for cancer. Anything that can prolong her life would mean the world to me. I am also impressed by the amount of Dr's they have... there are 8 that deal with Lung Cancer alone! Washington has 1 cancer dr for the whole Hospital. (unreal)

Tmone,

Haven't written on this board before, but I wanted to say how sorry I am that all of this is happening with your mother and your family.

I live in Fremont and (thankfully) no one in my family has ever had to be admitted to Washington Hospital, but we've had to use the ER (because there's no other choice...Kaiser doesn't count), and the ER could have a book written about it. It's awful to live in a place that boasts of its technology, etc., and still have to put up with sub-standard health care.

Good for you, moving your mother to Stanford. Hope all is well.

Hi there, I am really sorry that this is happening. If I were you right now, I would research everything I can about the raw foods diet. There are lots of books on it, maybe you could find them at your library or health food stores. I really believe this could help her. Good luck with everything.