Hi Everyone :wave:
Thanks for reading...I am in the very early stages of testing for infertility. I had an HSG done earlier in the month that came back inconclusive. My dr's office wants me to schedule an appt to go over the details of a laparoscopy & also to schedule myself for the procedure (I will have to take at least 1 1/2 days off work for this). My question is...How much information should I give my employer/co-workers regarding my time off?? My employer allows us to take time off w/ no explanation, however I work w/ a bunch of older ladies who always ask 'Where were you?' whenever anybody takes time off. They are sweet, and they mean well, but I don't really want to disclose my personal struggle of TTC w/ the entire office. Any suggestions? Maybe somebody could share a personal experience? Thanks for your time - I appreciate it!! ;)
Holly~

I also have been struggling with what to tell people when asking for time off. I just tell them that I am having a "procedure" done and if they ask any more questions I just say I'm having female problems and then they tend to stop asking. I am doing rotations through the hospitals (Im in my last year of podiatry school) and most of the doctors that I ask for time off from are men and it tends to shut them up quickly as soon as I mention female problems. HOpefully that will work for you. If not make something up or just simply say that you are not comfortable going into personal details with them. I hope that helps.

Good luck with your procedure!!

Koukla

Thanks for the advice Koukla. Most of the people in my office are women, so unfortunately saying I have female problems may actually promote more questioning. I was thinking about saying that I am going away for the weekend, but I don't want to be forced to make up stories from my trip. I am also concerned that I will still be sore the Monday after the procedure and won't be able to fake my way through it. It's a shame I can't just tell them it is private w/o them thinking the worst. :confused: More suggestions are welcome! Thanks again :)

Holly~

I don't know women are a bunch of noisy people especially for some reason the ones you work with its just in our nature I guess. Boy I don't know how you will crawl under that one. There was a similar post on her only it was about the gals family. And she didn't want to fib because the littlest fib turns into another and another so I see were you are coming from there. Bottom line I think that they will have to be okay with your ever so gently put "it's personal" or you will have to give in and share a little. The good news is you said they are older at least it isn't a bunch of really young catty girls you know what I mean. If you do decide to relay some information you might just be surprised to find they may have some good information for you. Who knows good luck with it, its a private thing between you and your husband and it does stink telling everyone over and over and over again.

Thanks Waiting4ababy. Even though my office is mostly made up of older ladies, we do have some of those catty ones too! ;) I have been doing some thinking about this, and I think I might have made the situation harder than it really is...I am famous for that! Most likely, I will just tell them I am taking a long weekend for myself. If they ask what I am doing with my time off, I will just say taking care of me. After all, it won't be a lie, and I won't have to divulge any info. If I am still sore on Monday, then maybe I will have to do some more thinking. Until then, taking it one step at a time. Appreciate the advice :p Take care!

Holly~

I'm in the same situation. I'm going to have to take a day or two off later this month for my IVF retrieval. I'm planning to tell my boss that I'm going to be away because I have to have a minor medical procedure, but that I'd like to keep it low key. And then when I come back and my fellow co-workers ask where I was, I'll just say I was sick. But I'm feeling better now.

CHJH, that's a great idea too! I may use it! And good luck with your IVF that is coming up! I will think sticky thoughts for you :D

Well, I'm a teacher and taking time off isn't that big a deal here, you just get a sub. But since my attendance has been pretty good in the past, I did mention it to my principle. The problem is, that once I told a couple of people in secret what was going on, others knew and I had no idea how!! And what bothers me most is the nerve of those women coming up to me to ask about it when I never even approached them! :nono: I felt like saying, "If I haven't talked about it with you to begin with~then there's a reason for that! And what makes you think you're privied to the same information I've told others??" :mad: Seriously, some women probably mean well but can be so caddy. Of course, I didn't say that, but it did put me in a very awkard position. :rolleyes: One of them even overheard me saying I had this frozen transfer coming up and that I'd find out after school got out and she's like, "Oh, you definitely have to call me and let me know!" And I'm thinking, umm, no I don't! :o Why is someone going through a procedure like this have to tell the world the exact moment they find out their pg?? What about the 12 week waiting period, or the possiblilty of a m/c?
Okay I'm off my soap box now...my point is, tell as little as you have to and be careful who & what you tell. Unless you want curious questions and nosy people coming up to you! ;)

KM, how inconsiderate of them! That is exactly what I am afraid of happening. I spoke with my supervisor a couple minutes ago, and I just told her I had to have a small procedure done and that I would need 2 days off. She asked if she could help (HOW?) and I just said I was fine and that it was no big deal (Not true, but at least it stopped the ?'s). I am not ready to explain over and over and over what I am going through and to hear the sympathy from people that I only see because we happen to work for the same company. Thank you for the warning - it will definitely be heeded!! What is it with everybody asking those private questions anyway??

Holly~