ok... to start off my cousin who was two years older than me was killed in a car wreck yesterday. june 18. We were really really close... together like 99 percent of the time... They keep saying it hasnt hit me yet but I think im just looking at it differently than they are. I am sad and I know she is dead but I see it as like no matter how much I cry it isnt going to change what happened to her... Its the cycle of life, you live and you die. Sure we all miss her and stuff but life is too short to dwell on it. I know she knew I loved her and thats all I can hope for. I know I will see her again someday I just have to wait...I mean I could die tomorrow and I would be mad bc the last hours of my life I wouldnt be enjoying them so I am trying to look at it positively... She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time....Im 14 and she was 16... RIP GENEVA!!! LOVE YOU!!! please reply I just want to know if there is something wrong with me bc im not crying as much as everyone else or if it really is that im looking at it better than they are.. bc they see it as she is dead and they will NEVER see her but thats not true... She just fulfilled her purpose here... reply

You will find you go through many many emotions during the next days, weeks, months and years. You won't be the same person you are today when tomorrow comes, as far as grief goes. Just let the whole experience happen and acknowledge the emotions and changes. No two people grieve exactly the same way. That being said, I'd be extremely concerned about someone who could just tuck all the memories and emotions away in one little package and go through the rest of their life without a tear or moment of despair. Give it some time, and write back here if you need.

Take care,

Callie

I agree. Everyone is different and we will all react differently to situations that come up in our lives. You are right this is the cycle of life and it is a very logical way to address this situation, but death is not logical. It has taken someone away from you that you love very much, and may not see for a very, very long time. My grandfather died when I was 6 years old and it took me years to come to grips that he did not want to leave me, & of all the happy times we have missed by him dying so young. It may take you awhile to go through the process
Do not be surprised if you are somewhere one day and a smell or a sound will remind you of your cousin. We really have no control how long the grieving process will take or when it will start.-Angela

I am glad you all have helped but in some sense i am so happy for her because she was molested by her stepdad alot. My uncle had a dream and in it my grandpa came to him and said she was happy. Also, my cousins sister had a dream and it was my cousin and she was dancing on clouds and stopped and said " look at me. I am finally happy" that made me feel better for her. is that normal ?

When my aunt, with whom I was very close, died, I was accused by a couple of members of the family of the same thing. While everyone around me was wailing and weeping, I was simply quietly dealing with it. Over the 2 years and 2 months since she died, I have occasionally been struck with a sudden sadness that she is gone, and that she didn't have time to do a lot of the things she had planned, but equally, she had cancer, was in a lot of pain and did not really have a proper life for the last 2 years. She was happy and made the most of her life while she was here and I believe that what she did while she was here outweighs all the things she might have done if she was still here! If that makes sense.
I agree with everyone else - there is no "correct" way to grieve. Don't worry if you seem to be doing it differently to other people - you are you, and you can't behave how other people want you to.
I think you will probably find in the coming weeks and months that you may suddenly be stopped in your tracks by a sound, a smell, a thought of "Oh, ........ would love that, I must tell her......" and you will be hit again by the fact that she is not here. But that's just how it works sometimes.
Just don't ignore any feelings that do come to you. Let them come, do their thing, then carry on.