I can't believe that I am in the state I am in.
I was neg at 6 weeks and am going for my 11 week tomorrow.
I was fine until a week and a half ago when I started getting pains under my arms. Since then my stress levels have gone through the roof again.
I have actually resigned myself to being positive. I look in the mirror and see a thin guy with HIV. I've lost 14lbs since this started.
I also found out yesterday that my daughter has to go into hospital and I have had to cancel our summer holiday, and I have a big career decision to make today.
I have an upset stomach - probably through the amount I am drinking and I don't sleep more than 4 or 5 hours a night - never more than 2 at a time.
I am such a mess.
I think I am getting away with it but my gf knows I'm not right.
My family have no idea.
I am trembling as I write this and somehow have to get to Thursday when my results come back when I will either be the happiest man on earth or an even worse mess than now.
Sorry if this is the wrong forum for this post but you guys out there have some idea of how I am feeling and right now I just needed to get these feelings out.
I can't talk to anyone about this.
Thanks for listening .............

Mate i know have you feeling, i'm getting those pains under my armpits, sometimes back of my ears, back of my knees and elbows strange, tell me about it....i've got 4 week before i go for my test..all my signs are tell me I've got HIV....but nothing is confirmed until i have my test.....good luck chat soon....

Robin,
Will def chat, but to be honest - I have test tomorrow and should get result Thursday - I am gonna be such a mess until I get the result and then possible a bigger mess.
I know what you are going through. I've been through it once and now again.
I was so sure my 6 week test was gonna see me over this but it hasn't.
Maybe stress can cause these pains - we can hope .....
It feels absolutely dreadful and if I am poz I have to break it to my gf who will then have to go through it all whilst hating me as well.
This is the worst time of life - without exception.

I am in the same boat...except my pains are in my groin area where there is some sowllen lymph nodes and lots of bruising...i was tested positive for chlamydia after 6 weeks and was treated for it and the HIV test came back negative, i thought for sure it would be positive just from the symptoms i have..so yesterday was my three month period so i am getting tested for HIV again and basically already know the outcome of it although i still have a little bit of hope that the lymph nodes are trying to get rid of the chlamydia that quite possible has not left the body yet but that is slim to nil i believe...i get my results on Friday, gotta be the longest week ever!!

Dino - I feel for you.
Stay around mate, whatever the outcome.
As they say - symptoms don't mean a thing and the mind is so powerful.
Once you're convinced you've got it nobody can tell you otherwise.

I have been having night sweats on top of my pain.
Just went upstairs to find I hadn't turned off my bedroom radiator - so its been coming on every morning at 6:30 - oh how I laughed to myself :o
Still think I've got it even though I have crossed one symptom off.

Read the news today about this women who got HIV about 3 years ago, she then went around infecting black afro men on purpose, the papers siad she was infected by a black afro man... Can you belive this women, the strange is this some of the men tested negtive for HIV. So its not that easy to get....good luck to you both..bad day at work today, oh well thats life...chat soon...mind over matter guys....

ya i have been having some night sweats too..untill i found it was 26 degrees in the house haha maybe i should turn the AC on...but i am still convinced i got it for now anyways so i am trying to stay away from people untill i hear the word on the test :confused:...but am most definitly interested in hearing how your guys tests go...it is always a good feeling to know that i aint the only one stressing out about it!!

As everyone says on this site, your not gonna feel good until you hear it from the Doctor about your tests results. You'll live and make it :p

Good luck mex! I'll be hoping for the best for you.

I know your situation started around the time mine did as well. I go for my 12 week test on Friday. I'm scared, even though the 6 1/2 week test came back negative, as did the HIV PCR test I had.

I did have to laugh at the part about your radiator being on though.

As much as I wish no one here had to go through this, I'm glad that I'm not alone in this and there are others here that are going through the waiting the same time that I am. It makes it just a little bit easier to manage.

Chris

Good luck Chris...if the PCR test came back neg then i am pretty sure your 12 weeker will as well...it sucks doing all the waiting eh haha :p

Chris, you most certainly aren't the only one.
I posted this comment before but I'll say it again. People only come here when they are nervous and anxious - like I did.
So most people here are like us - or were at some point.

Some people seem to come and go and some stay around.
I am planning on staying if I'm -ve, to try and ease the suffering of people like us.
If I'm +ve then I have no idea what I'll do to be honest - cry probably - then go into denial.
My gf is being a bit less understanding now - she doesn't understand why I am going for another test as I have had one (6 week) and it was neg - I think she is frightenend because I am saying I think I may still have it. She'd rather bury her head in the sand on this one.

Stick together people - there is geniune comfort in knowing that you're not alone in the way you are feeling.

I have found a great deal of help and support on this forum - thanks to all of you who have helped.
Keep in touch.

Oh what a mess up.
In my emotional mess I actually managed to make my test appointment for this morning AT THE WRONG HOSPITAL !
I couldn't believe it when I got there.
The good news is they have an appointment for tomorrow morning so I am going back then.
The bad news is that I have to wait 2 weeks for the result. 2 weeks !!
I really don't know how I will be now.
I keep getting on top of it then this pain under my arm kicks in and I get panicky.
All this for one drunken night of stupidity .......

Good Luck for tomorrow Mex.
These pains under your arms have long have you had them..?
Have you had any other problems..??
2 weeks wait is a long time to wait for you result..

I'm thinking of getting a home test kit now...

Good Luck for tomorrow Mex.
These pains under your arms have long have you had them..?
Have you had any other problems..??
2 weeks wait is a long time to wait for your result..

I'm thinking of getting a home test kit now...

Mex matey, Keep your head high and keep smiling, I'll be thinking of you. Good luck xx

Jen x

I should be getting a phone call either tommorow or Friday about my test results woo hoo...the worst part is the waiting, gets you soo stressed out it is just brutal i feel for ya Mex...Good luck with it all!!

I decided I couldn't wait for 2 weeks so just went to London and got another same day result.
It was negative - thats after 11 weeks and 1 day.
So the pains under the arms (predominently the right one) isn't HIV.

Yesterday I went to see an oesteopath (?) and he said I was very tight around that area and all across my back. I can feel that I am.
He said the stress will cause this tightness and can cause pain under the arm.
Now he might have been telling me what I wanted to hear but it sure makes sense now.
I have booked a session with him for tomorrow so hopefully that will sort that out.
So to summarise for worried people, I have had (not all at once) :
Night sweats
Oral thrush
Pain under arms
a small rash on my tummy
sore throat
And I am negative.
I think its gonna take a while to sink in properly as I was so convinced otherwise, but I am taking this result as a just that - a result.
After the 6 week duo negative and now this I think I can finally be free.
I read on another forum a quote from someone that sums up how I felt and that is, that I have been living with HIV for 11 weeks.
Its been foremost in my thoughts all the time and has affected my life for good.
So, as everyone says - forget the symptoms, get tested and hopefully you will be OK.
And for some peace of mind - don't wait 13 weeks - go early and get one and get another later. It did help me a bit.
I really hope you are all OK and I am sure you will be.
Thanks again Jen as well - you are great.

Robin - sorry forgot to say.
I have had the arm pain for about 2 weeks.
It actually started when I thought "hope I don't get a pain under my arm" believe it or not.
Then I did - it lasted about 1/2 day and went.
It has become more frequent as time has gone on.
It goes at night and starts about 10 - 11 in the morning.
Its the right arm only though.
Then it comes and goes all day.
Could be that its riding my motorbike - but I have been doing that for 8 years with no side affects (apart from to my wallet) so I'm not convinced.
Will see what happens after my visit to the oesteopath tomorrow.
Hope this helps ?
How about your pains ?