have a question, I currently live in japan, the hiv/aids is very low here. 9,000 to 12,000 people have hiv/aids out of 175 million people. Well I met this japanese girl we have protected sex, we had have sex for 5 days straight. I knew her for awhile before we had sex. But I wanted to *** inside of her, so before I *** I pulled off the condom and put it in her for at least 30 secs then I got up pee and wash my penis. Well I had no worries what so ever, I know her sexual past, she only have unprotected sex 1 time for only 2mins and that was 2 months before she met me. I did finger her one time and I cut her inside and she was bleeding because it was on my finger, I wash my hands and put a condom on my finger after that. I had not cuts or anything on my finger. Is there a chance I could have caught this? I still talk to her and she keeps saying she is clean and not to worry, but I have a anxiety problem. Well a week later I met my gf we had sex on the first date. I didnt have a condom and I wanted to use a condom but she didnt want too she said she was clean and we had sex. Well 6 wks after I met japanese girl I got a hiv check-up and other disease. From my knowledge they all came back negative if they came back positive the military would kick me out, so I began to move on with my life with my new gf. Well I was sent back to the ship and I cussed at someone who outranked me and I got in trouble. People labled me as a angry man, I was messed with and yelled at alot and I had to do a lot of stupid and morale breaking things. Well I fell into deep depression quickly, then one day I was watching the news on the ship and they were talking about hiv in africa. Suddenly my mind focused on that and I became paranoid and I started adding up events in my life that happen and started to make up my own symptnoms. I became worried and I was still stuck on the ship with lack of sleep and mustering 5 times a day. So I just got more and more in depressed. Well I couldnt get my mind off of my worries. I told my gf to get a checkup so 11weeks after she met me got a checkup it came back negative. I was relxed but then I kept on reading and reading about hiv online and it started to impair my judgment. Usually I get short pain in my legs because of old injuires. As I was running up some long stairs I might have pulled a muscle a little. So I went to my bed and laydown and then I remember muscle acnes was a sign, so I had a major anxiety attack like I never had before. I wanted to kill myself, I felt so much pain inside and no one knew what I was going through. My family hasnt talked to me in long time I live far far away from them. So I got up and talked to my friend and he calm me down, I really wanted to die. Well finally I got off the ship and I was able to walk on land after 6 to 7 weeks. After I had that attack my muscles started to hurt. But then I went to medical and talked to the doctor he told me I was ok. The likely hood was very slim to none because of where I am at and my exposure time. Well it calm me down a little but I was still depressed and having problems in my head. Well as time more on I was afraid to move on with my life. I was afraid to step forward in my career because if I am infected I am get kicked out of the military and I have no life after that and my family will not accept me so death would be my only option. But I kept my mind off of it and things started to go away, I still felt like I couldnt do anything in my life. I did feel fatigue but that was all in my head because when I ran I ran so fast that I broke my record and that was the first time that ever happened. I then started to notice it is all in my head. I still got anxiety attacks time to time, but I usually push it out of my head. I never got fatigued, my sicknesses were all natural. Well I have asthma and I was going running one time and I tried a new way to inhale my asthma medicine and after that I got a liltte dry throat because I inhaled it when I sprayed it. I did have a anxiety attack and it only seemed worst, my head was still messed up. Well there was a guy in my unit that was sick, I was always next to him and I really got a soar throat so I new it wasnt a soar throat. Well that sickness I got from him went away after taking medicine. So I new it was all in my head and a certain way that I swallow that gives me this reaction. Now 6months have passed and I should get a check to finalize my fear. But I am to afraid because I dont want to get kicked out of the military I have no where to go or live after that. But I am still dating my gf. So I never got a 6month checkup, my gf and I was talking about getting married, but she has to get a medical checkup, so 8months after we met she she got another hiv- checkup and she came back negative. Now we have unprotected sex every weekend for at least 4 times for 8months, except the time when I was gone for 6 weeks and another 2 weeks when I went home. I pull out most of the time before I ***. But I always have precum. But I am still having anxiety attacks but very very minor than before. I am a lot cool headed now. But I still wonder, is it possible after 8months of unprotected sex with the same person every weekend she can still be hiv negative and I still can be hiv pos? I have been faithful to her, it is just woman I had sex with a week before her. But my worries are going away and I am getting out of depression. Everytime I go to the gym or do something that pushes me forward in life. I always feel alot better. I didnt take any medication for depression, I am just getting through it my own way. But to ease my mind I am asking this question. I do have to get the checkup soon because it is going to be a one year mark soon. Thank all of you for your help. I never really had any synptnoms it is more of a guilt trip and depression that made me realize I could have made a big mistake. I Just want to know what are my chances? My Doctor, My GF and my friends tell me not to worry I am ok. But depression did a number on my mind. I am not the same person I once was. Thank you for reading my post. After reading some posts on this forum my fear seems to come back. Because of some of the stores I read.