Hi there,

Could you please answer my question as it is taring me apart with worry.

Approx two days ago i had sex with a street prostitute in nottingham (UK). I was extremely STUPID to do this as i have a beautiful wife and two amazing children!

I was very drunk at the time and the prostitute 1stly put on a condom on my penis and then gave me oral sex, after which we had penetrative sex in the vagina from behind.

Although the condom stayed on throughout the whole experience, my main worry is that i was not fully erect at any point in the whole experience as i was drunk. My penis was not fully erect during the penetration. the prostitute squeezed on the base of my penis whilst penetration (i think she did that to get me more erect). I did not ejaculate either.

Although the condom stayed on throughout the whole process, i am worried that due to the fact that i was not erect, i may have caught HIV from her. I suspect that she is a drug user, and therefore i am becoming extremely concerened and worried.

Please help me with my anxieties with some advise.

I love my children so much, i would hate to think that i have ruined theirs and my life due to a stupid drunken night out!

Any help and advise would be so much appreciated!

Well since a condom was used i really dont think there is much of a risk there. from being on this board ive learnt its much harder to contract the virus from woman to man. because i guess the womens fluid needs to go up into the uretha unless sex is unprotected when shes on her period.the best thing to do is wait a few weeks and get tested but i really think its a low risk. if you dont feel right about that maybe you should use caution when sleeping with your wife to be sure but like i said and im sure many here will tell you that if you were protected with a condom then its low risk. take your test and when things come back ok then take this as a lesson learnt. i can tell you feel guilty for doing this. you came here for advice and not a lecture so i wont say anymore. but just get a test for your own piece of mind but im sure you are ok. stay safe :)

My concern is your wife.
I would hate to be married to a husband that is sleeping with prostitutes. I think if you and your wife are used to having unprotected sex that you've got to wear a condom until you're in the clear. If she's going to wonder why you're wanting to wear a condom, I guess you've got to tell her the truth. You don't sound like a mean terrible guy... but you've made a terrible mistake. If you have contracted HIV you don't want to sentence your wife (whether or not you love her or care for her) to death because you don't want her to know you had sex with a prostitute.
Sometimes you have to bite the bullet. Think about your conscience if you don't tell her and you give her HIV. It would be a very selfish act to not tell her because you don't want to suffer the consequences...
And if it's a first time mistake, don't ever let it happen again. If you think you can't be a one woman man, divorce your wife for her sake.
Get tested, even though there is low risk, and talk it over with a doctor on how long it might take you might be in the clear. Better to be safe than sorry. Sorry to be so blunt, I'm not a mean person... I just wouldn't want to be your wife right now.

Dear HEather: on the contrary he didn't "sleep" with her.

ANd for Jay2000: if what you have described is truly your encounter and that you wore a condom during the encounter, then (lucky for you) I think you're in the clear. At least with regards to the HIV issue. The other part of this, is just when (and how) you will clear you conscience (which is not what this post is about)? If I could write a post and ask a question it would have to be: how to normally sensibly, responsible men manage to get themselves in situations in which the risk everything just to get l**d? Anway, regarding your original concern, I believe you're OK. This time....chris