Hi!!!

For the last 21 years my life has been full of chaos. The tantrums, demands, and broken doors are just so dam frustrating. My son is aggressive, abusive and much more. He has completed his schooling in a normal children's school, always was in a private school as from preschool as the private schools only accept 10 pupils for ever grade as according to this ratio, provided a one on one basis, 10 pupils to 1 teacher. Also by being in very expensive schools he was given the extra attention and was sent for tests to many different medical officials, for his eyes then his hearing, then occupational therapist, then GP, then a shrink. 6 months ago at the age of 20 years he was put on concertia 18mg. He does not take it weekends and also not during his varsity holidays.

I put up boundaries, hold him accountable for his actions, etc. With all of this actioned he is still a BRAT!!!, and remains BRAT!!!!. Its got to the point where I hate my child. I cannot stomach him and to think I gave birth to this brat all he is capable of doing is break my doors. I told him to pack his bags and get out my house and that I was done with him. He was shocked and asks me where would he find his suitcase????. He knows very well where his suitcase is, in his cupboard. Also he tried to start some argument and I answered that I was not going to speak to him and left the room and went to my office at home. This brat proceeded by kicking my office door in. At this present moment I have a huge hole in my door and this brat will not leave my house. He sits in his room and is not packing. I am at the end of the road. I just cannot take another day of his impulsiveness, hyperness, tantrums. I am also not mother Theresa or the virgin Mary. I am just human with a brat that is uncontrollable. He has to every medical person I can think of. Top of the best, the best of best medical practitioners, specialist, therapist, private schools etc. Today I am worst off with all the millions spent on this brat!!!!:mad:

Please your suggestions, experience anything would be appreciated.

Hi!!

I have read some other posts, which brings me to motor skills. My son's motor skills are brill ant higher than what it is supposed to be for a boy his age. Also has a wall full of gold medals which he has won for sports. he is an Einstein when it entails sport.

Rosanna

Wow is that what I have to look forward to??? I can't be of much help to you seeing as you seem to have described my almost 12 year old son to a tee! My son takes his meds all the time though. I was told by the current psychiatrist that he sees that the meds don't help with the attitude or impulsiveness, only the attention! What the hell is that all about?!?!? There are holes in at least 1 wall in almost every room in my house. He practically ripped his door off the hinges. Don't get me wrong, there are days when my Nicholas is good as gold...but those are the exception to the rule. The worst part is that his almost 10 year old sister has it worse than anyone. Nicholas tries to literally control her almost all the time and if she doesn't do what he wants he hits her! She has changed so much with her personality over the last few years because of it and it is killing me! All these people try to tell me to do all these things to help stop it but nothing works! I'm afraid one of these days he's really going to hurt her. He's already broken one of her fingers!

rkireid-
I wish I had helpful advice for you. As an adult, your son should be responsible for his actions. Has he always physically acted out, or is this a sudden development in his personality? Are the two of you able to sit down and have a conversation, or have you considered counseling sessions together?



nickkaylee-
I know not all people are the same, especially when it comes to meds, but my girlfriend's son was able to be described just as yours. He was even the same age, but had 2 younger sisters. He got really out of control, stealing money, getting suspended from school, hurting his sisters, and disappearing until long after dark. My friend did everything she could, but NOTHING helped. Fearful of the possible consequences he may be fated to as an adult, she finally checked him into a children's mental health facility (completely against his will, of course). He remained there and was observed for about 9 days. During this stay, it was concluded that his then current med (I think it was Strattera) was inciting him to be extremely bipolar and aggressive. They switched him to something else, and finally released him. He totally changed, now he's just the sweet (although still mischievious;) ) little boy who we rarely got a glimpse of before his meds got straightened out.

It could just be that your son has been on the wrong meds. Kids' brains are a lot different than ours, and it's probably harder (if not impossible) for them to analyze their behavior according to their meds. He certainly should not be acting this violently, espesially causing physical harm to others. What is going to happen as he gets older, and physically larger in size, if this is something left uncorrected? It sounds like you need a new p-doc. Maybe a kids' mental health facility would be an option for you? If you've been doing everything you can with no results, the situation will not correct itself without the proper intervention. Not only is this causing you undue stress, but your daughter is extremely affected by it as well.

I hate to tell you folks, but busting up the house is not associated with ADD....that's a person who has no regard for other's property..and no respect. My advice to the mom who has had it...call the polic and have him removed. Make him realize you ARE serious. that's why he's still there, he knows you won't MAKE him leave. You won't make him pay for the damage. Set the rules, and stick to them. Period.

Well if you call the police they will only use punishment and punishment is usually not a good way to learn How To Behave the right way. It teaches people to live in fear. Now should she teach this guy responisbility and follow threw with her requests for him to leave? YES. Behaviorally you need to get him to find a place to live in with a couple other guys or roommates for a while. Also did you take him to a board certified Psychiatrist? Also if he is on meds the meds can make it worse or if he is taking them and then stopping it can make it worse? All I can say is that NONE of the therapists or clinicians you talked to helped your son out at all.
Have you tried a Board Certified Behavior Analyst?