I have a six year old son. His father is 53 years old. I just don't understand him at all or how to deal with him anymore.
He shows the signs of being Bi polar. But as a mom, how do I deal with him.
He's so very hard to understand. It's really starting to concern me because it's no affecting my son. We have tried to make things work for seven years. Im at wits end. I just can't walk away he's my son's father.
He's happy and talking very sweet to us and then within minutes he's mean and hateful, He always says he wants to die. He gets upset over the smallest things and walks out of his son's life for months no call nothing. But then when he wants, he calls and comes back like nothing ever happened. We have recently spilt again which my son is not dealing with at all, he cuts you off totally like a light switch. He keeps belongings such as personal items and ask for his back when you send them to him he will not except them and the they are returned back to me. He always feels like a victum and everything is everyone elses fault. He says the relationship and him not being around for my son is 100% my fault He has become more violent over the years and has hit me twice. Over the last six months he's begged for my son and I to come and live with him, I always avoided it because I knew sooner or later he would walk out again. I gave in this time and said yes, two weeks later he never picked his phone up. He's driving me crazy my son loves him so much. And cries wanting his dad he asks me for days at a time to call his dad and leaves messages for him to call back and his dad never calls back. During the years I never ever kept his dad from seeing his son I have always went out of my way for them to have a relationship. It just seems it's never good enough. He says he loves his son more then life it self and then rejects him for months at time. My son's father has other children that are all in there late 20s early 30s they don't understand there father either. I love him but it's just wearing on me. And to see my son so hurt by him. It just eats me up alive, I'm always asking myself how could you do the things he does to the ones he says he loves the most.
What do I do as a mom. How do I deal with him as a person. His behavior is happy, depressed, angry, and then raging mad. I'm a little afraid of him hurting me now. I have said to him this last time that this was it with the in and out of my sons life and that visitation will be no more. To me it dosen't seem like he wants our son, I'm tired and I just want him out of both of our lives and he wont sign any paperwork releasing custody of my son solely to me. But he never calls or comes around for months at a time. My son can't keep going throw this and neither can I. He says he will visit with my son and threatens attorneys. Thats the other thing very controling and constantly threating to do something to you if you don't do what he wants you to do. I feel like he just wants me around for someone to hurt. At this point with his behavior so crazy Im not really sure of what he will do next. Im afraid because of me saying thats it's over and no more in and out of our lives, if he will take my son. He's very vindictive. Everything is all about him. My son is suffering because of me not knowing really what his father will do next, I'm afraid to let my little boy to play in the yard of fear he will take him. The funny thing is my son's father will work himself into the ground he works a full time job during the week and owns and runs a bar . The people at his job or at his bar think he's the sweetest person in the world and have no clue of his behavior, how does he hide this so well from everyone else. His daughter's and his x wife and me are the only ones that have seen his horrible behavior. His x wife did tell me that during his marriage with her he beat badly, the women between his x wife and me drank herself to death. I can't just leave and move I have a home and a good job. And I have a daughter from a prior marriage. I don't want to move my children all over the place because of him. He attacks my cars and recently killed my dog cause she bit him he's very abusive towards animals. Restraing orders don't work, I figure I just need to understand him and learn how to deal with his behavior. Please if you have any advice email me at REMOVED. :angel: Thanks for reading my concerns.




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Hi. I am afraid I can't give you any specific advice. But what I can say is, he doesn't sound like he even realises he is the one with the problem. Because of this, he is going to continue with his behaviour. At 53, he may never accept he is at fault, or ill, unless forced to come to terms with past behaviour. Would you, his ex, and his daughter be prepared to try something like that? If not, i suggest your best bet is to get as far away as possible. If he wants access to his child, or custody, you can state to the authorities your concerns. He will then have to be assessed (pull in ex wifes and daughters testimonies as evidence of erractic behaviour.) This may also force a diagnosis. Either way, he would have to be a hell of an actor to pull that one off! Well, thats the way it works in england anyway.
Hope this helped a little.

TTFN :wave:

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Welcome to the board. Being force into a dio is most likley the best thing that could happen to him. However, some people are just plain mean. The dead dog thing is scarry! I'd be very careful.

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[QUOTE=littlemissmean1]. He always feels like a victum and everything is everyone elses fault. He says the relationship and him not being around for my son is 100% my fault He has become more violent over the years and has hit me twice. Over the last six months he's begged for my son and I to come and live with him,Thats the other thing very controling and constantly threating to do something to you if you don't do what he wants you to do. I feel like he just wants me around for someone to hurt. At this point with his behavior so crazy Im not really sure of what he will do next. Im afraid because of me saying thats it's over and no more in and out of our lives, if he will take my son. He's very vindictive. Everything is all about him. My son is suffering because of me not knowing really what his father will do next, I'm afraid to let my little boy to play in the yard of fear he will take him. The funny thing is my son's father will work himself into the ground he works a full time job during the week and owns and runs a bar . The people at his job or at his bar think he's the sweetest person in the world and have no clue of his behavior, how does he hide this so well from everyone else. His daughter's and his x wife and me are the only ones that have seen his horrible behavior. His x wife did tell me that during his marriage with her he beat badly, the women between his x wife and me drank herself to death. I can't just leave and move I have a home and a good job. And I have a daughter from a prior marriage. I don't want to move my children all over the place because of him. He attacks my cars and recently killed my dog cause she bit him he's very abusive towards animals. Restraing orders don't work, I figure I just need to understand him and learn how to deal with his behavior. Please if you have any advice email me at REMOVED. :angel: Thanks for reading my concerns.



He sounds like he could have borderline personality disorder. He's abusive. I'd get as far away as possible and don't look back. You don't need to subject your son to that.......doesn't matter if that's his father. He's teaching him bad things, just by being around. He killed your dog and you're still willing to deal with him? Don't you know that people who hurt/kill animals will do it to people also? He's dangerous.....to you and your son. That should be obvious from what he did to your pet. Get away from him. What are you waiting for? It was your dog last time, next time it may be your son.
He has no redeeming qualities.....so what if he contributed the sperm that made your son.....he has nothing else of value to contribute......
Get away from him.

Wow! :eek: I am really scared for you and your little boy! Easy to say this, I know...but as you were talking about the dead dog thing I thought--whoa! This guy is really scary!! You need to take your children and get as far away as you can from this guy. Your children come first and their protection. If you need to, you can go to a woman's shelter and tell them about the dead dog thing and everything that's going on. If you're in a shelter, there's no way that he can contact you or know where you are. There a professional can help you sort out all the legal stuff and can help you do what you need to do---not only for yourself but for your children as well. Your man is very sick and needs to get the help! You cannot make him 'get better' and it sounds like he could really hurt you & your children. You sound like a warm, loving Mom and I can hear that you want the best for them. Your little boy's Father can't be a real 'Dad' to your boy now--he's just too sick. Please take care of yourself & your children. You're doing the right thing and the ONLY thing you can do right now! God Bless you! Kym.