Hi everyone!!! I'm new to this piticular board. I post alot in the spinal cord, depression and pain boards. What brings me to this board is my wife. She is 31 and has had alot of problems for years. We have been married for 9 years and I've know along time something was wrong. We have been to so many doctors I could'nt even guess how many. We have dealt with her being way overweight, problems with her legs. She was premature and all her muscles did'nt fully form so she can't walk long distances or stand for long periods. She had surgery in jan to fix a deaveated septum, remove tonsiles and adnoids. Ended up almost dying with blood clots and collapsed lung as well as phnumonia. We have dealt with depression as well as a host of other problems. when she was in high school she had tried suscide and was taken to a facility that she quickly convinced that she was okey. She said she slept alot and was depressed alot back then too. Anyway, a month ago she put a plan in motion to kill herself. i pay pretty close attention to her and it did'nt take me long to figure out what she was up to. I ended up calling 911 and they sent her to our state hospital untill she went to court to see if she needed to be committed longer. I felt sorry for her because it isn't a nice place, and most of the patients were not in the same type of suitation as her. She was just depressed. We had it set up for her to see a therpasits more ofter than she had been seeing one. We had just started the process of getting her set up with mental health so she could take some groups and see more specialized psychicartist and get the help she needs. Just a quick note about our suitation. I have been off work for 10 months due to an injury at work and what we get from workers comp does'nt pay all our bills. So we are stuck at home most of the time. I'm along way from being fixed or able to go back to work, If ever. Our anniversery was this past monday (9) yrs, I knew she was depressed because we could'nt even go out for it and she had been trying to talk me into overdoseing with her so we could go together. Monday night she felt she should talk to someone so she called her theripast who called us back an hour later. She was'nt home to know if she had any openings the next day for an appointment. She said she would call back when she got home. About 10 minutes later my wife said it may help if she wrote in her journal and went ib the back of out trailer. I did'nt pay alot of attention to this because she was dealing with it I thought with her therpastis. anyway about 30 minutes later she came out and said she had to say goodbye and she was sorry to do this on our anniversiry and she was going to bed. Of course i then started looking to she what she was up to when the phone rang and It was her thepipists. I told her what she had told me and she wanted to talk to her. My wife told her she had taken 80 effexor and 25 clonipan and it was to late to save her. She advised me to call 911 again, which I did. She is now back in the state hospital for at least 30 days and up to 6 weeks. I need to add one detail. Last week when she went to mental health the lady said she thought my wife was bipolar. I've heard of it before but knew little about it. Just that it was when someone was always high or low in their life. The doctors at the state thinks she is bipolar also and have started her on the d drug I've seen mentioned in other threads. I think thats enough history for you to understand what we know at this point. I have a thousand question. I'm trying to peice together everything, but I don't even know where to begin or exzactly what to ask. I'm reading as much info as I can so I understand all this. It's probally too soon to think about this but I'm worried about when she gets out what life will be like and how to prepare myself for it. She has mentioned that in the future she needs to learn how not to say goodbye and get caught. Just today she tried to cut her wrist while in the hospital. So all you good people, I turn to you for help. I don't know where else to turn or what to do. Thanks for any help or advise you can give me. I'll keep you regulary updated as I find out more and promise to reply to every reply I get from you. thanks again TEXASCRITTER

Wow! Welcome! You have your hands full. I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband has bipolar. He's been depressed for yrs. on & off his meds. So, I'm new at this whole thing, too. My advice to you is keep reading this board and look up bipolar as much as you can. Also, there are different 'kinds' of bipolar disorder. It really helped me to read the sticky note on this board about bipolar first to help me understand where my husband fits in. My husband has really low lows and his mania is more rage&anger. He doesn't have the classical highs that others may get. That's why for yrs. I thought he can't possibly have bipolar. I remember one of my counselors saying to me,"It sounds like your husband may be bipolar." I said, "No WAY!" NOW I understand that she was right all along (this was yrs. ago) Well, it sounds like your wife is where she needs to be right now. I'm sure it's very hard on you to have her gone...you did the right thing in calling 911. How scary for you both! I wish I knew what else to say...just keep us all posted! You're not alone in this! :angel: Kym.

Thanks for replying. I'm still so lost. I have no idea what type of bipolar she has. It's all to early to know at this point. I had actually hoped for a better response from this board. I guess people have stuff to do in their own lives. Hopefully thing will pick up soon. Thanks again. TEXASCRITTER

Hi, I read your other post, and I don't know if I can give you any valuable info, but I'll tell you about what I went through, maybe there's something there you can use.
My ex husband kept trying to kill himself, and we ended up in the hospital several times, (He did).
He was prescribed medication, which would work for a while, then it wouldn't so we had to swich again.
To make this story short, you wanted to know what to do when she gets back from the hospital.
First of all, they should not release her until she has gotten better on the medication and looks more stable.
Be aware that she can fool the doctors by spitting out pills that were given to her, thinking they won't help her. Until the medication starts working, you need to watch over her, like it's being done for her now.
When I got home from the trip to the hospitals, I had to hold onto all the medication, hide it. And only give to my ex what was prescribed at the time it was prescribed. I also hid anything sharp or rope-like around the house.
There are only so many things you can hide.
The first trip to the hospital, his mom and I took him home, we were advised to have a large man around (my ex was big) that could hold him down in case he came back out of the depression and got enough strenght to try again.
Or got violent because he may be mad at the people who saved him.
It did not happen, we were lucky there. He came out of it O.K.
There is a lot more to this, but I am sorry you are going through this, if you have any questions, knowing what I went through, maybe I can offer some insight.
But you are doing the right thing, and she seems to be getting diagnosed and medicated now. So praying always helps, and maybe she can come out of this one. Has she been on medication long? Has she been on meds before?

Does she accept that she needs help and meds? That would be a good start.:D
Keep writing, O.K. I'll keep checking. Sorry it took a while, but your title did not tell much. But there are a lot of wonderful people here.:blob_fire

Thanks for answering. After her 1st attempt and getting out of the hospital I kept the meds in our car and kept the keys in my pocket even when sleeping. I'm dealing with alot of my own depression. I've been on effexor for over a year and normally it works well. I don't know if i need to change to something else as I'm hopefull that this isn't going to be a long term crisis. It may be a forever thing if they cant get her straightened out. She is on some new med for bi-ploar. Just found out she has it. I think she's been on it three days now. All I know is it starts with a D. She is'nt happy to be there. All she wants to do is be able to die and I won't let her do it. Our problems are alike. How is your husband now? I hope doing well!! The more you tell me the more I'll know. Knowledge is the key to everything. Again thanks for replying

Depakote? Sorry Tex I haven't been doing well myself so I have stayed away from the boards. It is hard for me to reply when I am so down to begin with. Have you been talking with a therapist yourself? It sounds like one might be benefical to you with all that you have had to deal with. I agree with Goody and Strawberry. At times I seem or feel that i have nothing to offer in terms of advise other then to say you are not alone in what you feel and people on this board do care a great deal. So right now perhaps a few are on vaca or having difficulties as well. Keep posting when you can on how things are. Being able to vent some will also help you to feel better.
emerlad

He's my ex husband now, haven't heard from him in a while. I use to e-mail his mom regularly and check on her, she's a good friend.
Last I heard he was doing well, going to college and was going to graduate this spring.
So there is hope, don't loose hope.
My ex does not speak to me, last I heard from his mom he hates me a lot.
He said some horrrible things.
Well, is the Effexor working for you?
(will writ emore later, gotta go to another computer)
Strawberry

Thanks for replying. I do see a counselor on a regular basis. It helps alot, but i can't sit in her office around the clock. Latly that seems where I need to be all the time. I'm sorry your down. Anything I can do to help? Just let me know. The response to this thread has been great. I can hardly keep up with responding. It helps me so much you guys can't imagine. Again thanks TEXASCRITTER

the effexor isn't working so well in this crisis. The problem with switching during a crisis is if it does'nt work I could end up in there with my wife. Thanks for replying. I look forward to when you reply again. TEXASCRITTER

In response to your last post......I am in a similar situation as you in which my daughter has recently been diagnosed as bipolar. And yes, she is mad at everyone who seems to want to help her. She is 15 years old and has attempted suicide twice, although the doctors feel that it was more impulsive than anything else. For months she blamed us and since she has started the med she seems to be blaming others less. So I think that once they find the right med and stabilize her that you will see her doing this less.

I think Strawberry offers some great advice as to when she gets home. and as far as her family blaming you for her bipolar, well they are just acting on ignorance.....you did not cause the bipolar. I truly understand your concern. I hope that eventually you can recruit her family to work more with you than against you....your wife is going to need all the support she can get once she gets home. Is there anyway that you can get them to better understand how important it is for them to work with you than against you???? Perhaps you should ask your wife's doctor and therapist on how to handle this best before she is actually discharged.

In any case....hopefully they will find the right med but you must remember that if your wife ever does succeed it will not be your fault....if somebody wants to take there life enough they will find a way no matter what you do or say. Please keep on praying that they find the right meds to keep her safe. And as I said, taking care of yourself is so important.

~ Goody:angel:

I will reach out to her family but don't have alot of confidence that they will respond. I will defently be in contact with her doctors thru this entire thing. I'm trying to set it up so she has maxium support and help lined up for when she gets out. It takes alot of time to get this all in place. Nothing involving the goverment goes as quick as it could. After she got out the last time I took her to mental health and after she finally got thru intake a week later her next appt was 2 weeks later. She did'nt have that much time to wait. Her therisists did'nt see it coming and was shocked when she did it so soon. The counselor who got her released the last time admits she was fooled and would'nt be fooled as easy this time. Other than myself she has alot of suscess in getting people to believe she is fine. I've lived with her 9 years and it does'nt take much of a change in her behavior for me to notice it. Thanks for responding. Texascritter

Well, I am off work now, I will be back tonight, I'm not ignoring you, I just gotta go get some sleep.
Take care, and keep praying.
Strawberry:)

I'm with you, Strawberry....need to catch some zzzzz's. Tex, you should get some yourself!!! Today is the day to start taking care of yourself and getting yourself a goodnight's sleep is a great start!!

Peace and prayers ~ Goody:angel: