I'll try to keep this short. I left my husband of 17 years because of many, many years of alcohol abuse. Since the breakup, his drinking has gotten much worse. He lost his job of 20 years, pension, health insurance, 401K, etc. because of his drinking. Shortly after that, he found a new job and I just found out that he has been put on probation for 30 day with the intent he will go to rehab because of the drinking.

We have two teenage children. One of my children lives with him; my 18 year old son. He stays with his father because he feels like he has to take care of him. The roles have been reversed; son is parent, parent is child. I have a very good relationship with my son but he feels the need to be there. I think he's afraid what will happen if he moves out, so he stays. I do get most of my information from my son though.

When he lost his 20 year long job a few months ago we forced him into rehab. He lied his way out. He spent only about 24 hours there. Fast forward to today, my son informs me that the ex has been vomiting blood, urinating blood and his bile contains blood. My son said he found his father last night at 11:30 face down on the floor sleeping with a blood stain on the floor. His excuse for not going to rehab now is that he can't afford it. He really can't in all honesty and he doesn't have health insurance.

I'm very upset about this but don't want to overstep my boundaries. My ex and I have a very poor relationship but despite that I don't want anything to happen to him and I DON'T want to be going to his funeral. I don't know what to do.

What options are there for someone who doesn't have health insurance? Does anyone know of a place in So. Western PA that I might contact for help. I'm willing to have him committed for his own good and if I can't do it, my son certainly will. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm terrified.

Look in the phone book for the local AA organization. Be careful, some of the listings are for profit organizations. Contact the Salvation Army or take him to the local Emergency Room - they are supposed to take a certain number of uninsured individuals.

AA is the best bet for help.

Good luck!:angel:

Oh Cl-
I know this must be just terrible for you. I know you care and don't want anything bad to happen to your ex-husband and I know you must be worried about the effects the stress of this situation is causing for your son as well as your other child.

If you ex is a heavy, long term drinker and is vomitting blood and urinating blood he needs medical care immediately. This is a sign of major kidney and/or liver problems and he may also have bleeding ulcers too.

Because you are the mother of his children and are responsible for their welfare (even though they are teenagers) you have every right to step in and take him to the ER. Tell the doctors about the entire situation and hopefully they can and will point you in the right direction. Most hospital ERs are not allowed to turn someone away who is in need of urgent care because of their inability to pay.

Regardless of your relationship with him, he is the father of your children and it does seem that you care for his health. In this situation, it's my opinion that there are no boundaries that you would be over stepping.

I wish you, your children and your ex-husband the very best in this situation.

Lezlee

Every city has some free treatment places, both inpatient and outpatient. But he has to go willingly.

What you can do is have an intervention where his family and friends all gang up on him and tell him that they will cut him off if he doesn't get into treatment, and at the same time lovingly suggest that he get some help.

Every city has some free treatment places, both inpatient and outpatient. But he has to go willingly.

I might add that even though Podee is correct, MANY times treatment facilities are overflowing and there is a waiting list. If you can it's best to get his name on some lists now so that if you can get him into a rehab it might be sooner rather than later.

I know some people who work in the health care field in that area. I'll see what I can find out.

Thank you all so much for your suggestions and well wishes. I just finished making dinner for the kids and cleaning up. At least we can still have somewhat of a family life, although my son just went home to his father and I dread the things that he has to hear and see.

By confronting my exh, he will become very violent and will not respond in a positive way - at all. I don't know how I can physically force him to go with me to the hospital. I think my best bet is to contact his family and let them know what's going on and hope they will step up and do what's best for their son. If they don't I have no other option to interject myself into the situation. You guys are right, this situation has been horrible on my kids. My daughter refuses to see or speak to her father and they used to be the best of friends. She hasn't spoken to him in months. Although I encourage her to contact him, it's probably best that she not be placed in that environment. I don't want her to see him like that.

He has been a eavy drinker for years which is why the bleeding is frightening to me. I honestly think he has a death wish. In addition to the drinking, I believe he is manic depressive.

Has anyone had experience getting help for someone who simply doesn't want help. How did you do it. How damaged were his/her organs and how are they doing now.

No matter what happened to cause the split, I was married to this person for 17 years and I don't want him to end up like this. So many people in his family died like this and I never thought he would be one of them.