EYESTWO22
07-14-2006, 09:40 PM
This is a continuation of my last thread " Can Age be a positive factor in dealing with bipolar episodes ?
So many times we our so involved with the what and how of bipolar disorder, that we lose track of what we really want to do about it. Oh, I don't want to play down the problems and frustrations that the disorder carrys. It is just important to point out that there are ways to deal with it on a postive basis.We hear so much about how it just can't be dealt with. The negtive over tones.
Can we here about how we are going to come up with a game plan to develope a "stiblity for "Life" ? :)
Eyes
So many times we our so involved with the what and how of bipolar disorder, that we lose track of what we really want to do about it. Oh, I don't want to play down the problems and frustrations that the disorder carrys. It is just important to point out that there are ways to deal with it on a postive basis.We hear so much about how it just can't be dealt with. The negtive over tones.
Can we here about how we are going to come up with a game plan to develope a "stiblity for "Life" ? :)
Eyes
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goody2shuz
07-14-2006, 10:21 PM
Hi, Eyes:wave: I was just talking about this with my 15 year old daughter today who is yet to be stabilized. She tells me she doesn't want to be on meds.....she knows that she is depressed and sees no way a med will make her feel like she was when she was 11 years old. That is the time that she identifies as remembering being happy and feeling good.
I told her that we have to be proactive about ourselves and knowing that with the right med she will feel like she once did when she was 11 years old.
You are a wise man and one of those with Bipolar who has embraced it and succeeded to get the stabilization that you need to remain positive and happy in life.;) I wonder if there is a way that I can help my daughter get to the point of acceptance and understanding that she does have the ability to help herself first by accepting that she has a disorder that she cannot change but can with a positive attitude and understanding could change it all around. Of course finding the right meds will help too.:D
Is there anything that you could suggest that I could do to help her out.....or does she first have to be stabilized in order to do that???? I figured now that the doctors have diagnosed her that there might be a book or something that would be helpful for her to gather a better understanding of what Bipolar is.....knowledge is power and with age we become more powerful in maintaining stability and our overall happiness.
This is a great topic.....for it is exactly where we are with our daughter!! However, I know that at her age there is much more for her to understand and accept before she can get better. That's what I'm here for I guess.;)
~ Goody:angel:
I told her that we have to be proactive about ourselves and knowing that with the right med she will feel like she once did when she was 11 years old.
You are a wise man and one of those with Bipolar who has embraced it and succeeded to get the stabilization that you need to remain positive and happy in life.;) I wonder if there is a way that I can help my daughter get to the point of acceptance and understanding that she does have the ability to help herself first by accepting that she has a disorder that she cannot change but can with a positive attitude and understanding could change it all around. Of course finding the right meds will help too.:D
Is there anything that you could suggest that I could do to help her out.....or does she first have to be stabilized in order to do that???? I figured now that the doctors have diagnosed her that there might be a book or something that would be helpful for her to gather a better understanding of what Bipolar is.....knowledge is power and with age we become more powerful in maintaining stability and our overall happiness.
This is a great topic.....for it is exactly where we are with our daughter!! However, I know that at her age there is much more for her to understand and accept before she can get better. That's what I'm here for I guess.;)
~ Goody:angel:
EYESTWO22
07-14-2006, 11:05 PM
Goddy :
You are a very good and knowledgable mother. I know this from all your posts.
Your daughter knows that there is something wrong with her "happiness." I just put it that way because I believe that is the way a 15 year old girl wants to think about bipolar disorder. She wants to "feel good". Like she remembers whan she was 11.
Perhaps, you need to take her back to that time. Talk with her how she really felt at that time. Why she felt that way. the key is to "Listen" to how she called "feeling good". Let her do the talking. Let her know you care by only nooding your head. She needs to be incontrol. She wants to let you know that she is willing to help herself.
She is able to handle the computer ? Then the two of you can work together into "google" websites on what causes bipolar disorder. Try to let her find her own answers about "her" disorder. Let her read,out loud to you, what can help her. Stay positive and understanding. But she needs to find some of her own answers:)
You already have the answers......Let her know that she can find them also.
It's called building on the mother and daughter relationship.... Love ;)
Stabilty will come.....When she has learned.
Eyes
You are a very good and knowledgable mother. I know this from all your posts.
Your daughter knows that there is something wrong with her "happiness." I just put it that way because I believe that is the way a 15 year old girl wants to think about bipolar disorder. She wants to "feel good". Like she remembers whan she was 11.
Perhaps, you need to take her back to that time. Talk with her how she really felt at that time. Why she felt that way. the key is to "Listen" to how she called "feeling good". Let her do the talking. Let her know you care by only nooding your head. She needs to be incontrol. She wants to let you know that she is willing to help herself.
She is able to handle the computer ? Then the two of you can work together into "google" websites on what causes bipolar disorder. Try to let her find her own answers about "her" disorder. Let her read,out loud to you, what can help her. Stay positive and understanding. But she needs to find some of her own answers:)
You already have the answers......Let her know that she can find them also.
It's called building on the mother and daughter relationship.... Love ;)
Stabilty will come.....When she has learned.
Eyes
goody2shuz
07-14-2006, 11:28 PM
Eyes...you are a wise man;) Thanks for the wonderful suggestions.....yes giving Erin control will allow her more involvement in restoring her "happiness".
The computer...well we have had some issues with impulsivity and doing the wrong things such as going to sites that talk about death and suicide and using IM to be in touch with people who are not a good influenc on her. So it will take some time to get there.....I guess sitting side by side may be useful.
I guess I am realizing that until we are better stabilized she will be in the "denial" mode. Today she talked about how the friends who really care about her do not....they confronted her on how concerned they were about the "changes" they saw in her over the past 4 months.....they did this as a peer intervention on her birthday and Erin perceived that as them telling her that they didn't like her and she was mad at them because they were able to laugh and have a good time when she felt miserable on that day. I told her that when you are depressed you will feel that way and that it is probably difficult to see others feeling the way that you wished you could feel. And that depression was not her fault or something she could turn on or off and that it must be difficult feeling that something makes you feel what you don't want to feel. I took her hands into mine and told her that is why she was where she was away from her friends so that we could find together the med that will allow her to feel good again and that we would!!
Taking her back in time is a great idea......and listening with just nodding is something she really needs to do....it is getting her to open up and tell me what she is feeling that sometimes is a chore....but I know in time she will.
Yes, Eyes, you are sooo wise....thank you!!!:angel: ~ Goody:wave:
The computer...well we have had some issues with impulsivity and doing the wrong things such as going to sites that talk about death and suicide and using IM to be in touch with people who are not a good influenc on her. So it will take some time to get there.....I guess sitting side by side may be useful.
I guess I am realizing that until we are better stabilized she will be in the "denial" mode. Today she talked about how the friends who really care about her do not....they confronted her on how concerned they were about the "changes" they saw in her over the past 4 months.....they did this as a peer intervention on her birthday and Erin perceived that as them telling her that they didn't like her and she was mad at them because they were able to laugh and have a good time when she felt miserable on that day. I told her that when you are depressed you will feel that way and that it is probably difficult to see others feeling the way that you wished you could feel. And that depression was not her fault or something she could turn on or off and that it must be difficult feeling that something makes you feel what you don't want to feel. I took her hands into mine and told her that is why she was where she was away from her friends so that we could find together the med that will allow her to feel good again and that we would!!
Taking her back in time is a great idea......and listening with just nodding is something she really needs to do....it is getting her to open up and tell me what she is feeling that sometimes is a chore....but I know in time she will.
Yes, Eyes, you are sooo wise....thank you!!!:angel: ~ Goody:wave:
emeraldeyes114
07-14-2006, 11:40 PM
I do believe that having a plan for stability is an excellent idea. I know there are times without this board and its members I would be more lost then I am. Sort of like having a map when you feel that somehow you took a wrong turn somewhere.
Being a teen Goody we know is hard enough but you had the bipolar to the mix and it gets harder still. I know she will make it through this time and she is so lucky to have a mom like you. Give yourself credit for the strength and the wisdom within you and the need never to give up no matter how tired you might be. Also let her know she needs to take advantage of this time because once you are an adult it is a whole nother ballgame.
I know at times I feel I am doing well and might not be doing as well as I think. Sometimes it is hard to see the tree for the forest or vice versa. But yes having consistent goals and management techniques equals a more fruitful and benefical life for those who suffer from this. Now I hope I can get to that point.
Deb
Being a teen Goody we know is hard enough but you had the bipolar to the mix and it gets harder still. I know she will make it through this time and she is so lucky to have a mom like you. Give yourself credit for the strength and the wisdom within you and the need never to give up no matter how tired you might be. Also let her know she needs to take advantage of this time because once you are an adult it is a whole nother ballgame.
I know at times I feel I am doing well and might not be doing as well as I think. Sometimes it is hard to see the tree for the forest or vice versa. But yes having consistent goals and management techniques equals a more fruitful and benefical life for those who suffer from this. Now I hope I can get to that point.
Deb
goody2shuz
07-15-2006, 12:35 AM
Thanks, Emerald for your kind words.:angel:
I am glad to see that you are feeling better and seeking that stability for yourself. I know that you were having a rough spell a few days ago, and it is great to see that you are doing better with being alone while your sister is away.
Like, Eyes brings up......once you realize that you are Bipolar and you keep on seeking out the treatment to be keep yourself stable by being proactive to the positive things that you can do to remain stabilized, the happier and more balanced your life will be.
I think that accepting that you have the disorder and that there are ways of treating it is key to stabilization. To deny it and treat it as something that will eventually go away is something that only hinders getting to stabilization. I am hoping that in time my daughter will realize this. Right now she is still in denial.....but I think that once we find the right meds and she is stabilized this all will change and she will be able to see the positive again. Right now everything is negative. ~ Goody:wave:
I am glad to see that you are feeling better and seeking that stability for yourself. I know that you were having a rough spell a few days ago, and it is great to see that you are doing better with being alone while your sister is away.
Like, Eyes brings up......once you realize that you are Bipolar and you keep on seeking out the treatment to be keep yourself stable by being proactive to the positive things that you can do to remain stabilized, the happier and more balanced your life will be.
I think that accepting that you have the disorder and that there are ways of treating it is key to stabilization. To deny it and treat it as something that will eventually go away is something that only hinders getting to stabilization. I am hoping that in time my daughter will realize this. Right now she is still in denial.....but I think that once we find the right meds and she is stabilized this all will change and she will be able to see the positive again. Right now everything is negative. ~ Goody:wave:
whitewingdove
07-15-2006, 01:44 AM
hi,
i'm 23 and have had bipolar disorder my whole life and have just found the right combo of meds in the past 2 yrs. it was extremely hard to get myself stabilized but with my meds i am pretty stable right now tho not as good as i was as i'm going thru a really ruf time right now. i didn't want to be on meds. i didn't want to have to take pills every day just to feel like normal ppl do. but i've came to accept it and am living with it and have learned to cope and go on.
i'm 23 and have had bipolar disorder my whole life and have just found the right combo of meds in the past 2 yrs. it was extremely hard to get myself stabilized but with my meds i am pretty stable right now tho not as good as i was as i'm going thru a really ruf time right now. i didn't want to be on meds. i didn't want to have to take pills every day just to feel like normal ppl do. but i've came to accept it and am living with it and have learned to cope and go on.
EYESTWO22
07-15-2006, 09:14 AM
Goody:
Thanks for your kind words. You are surely on the right track in helping your daugher.Proactive and postive suggestions are the key. How to help her when she is in a "denial mode"? Lets try to look at what denial is to her.Is denial a mechanism of her immature mind, because it conflicts with the ability to learn from and cope with reality ? It is a defense which distorts reality, it keeps her from feeling the pain and uncomfortable truth about things we do not want to face. If we cannot feel or see the consequences of our actions, then everything is fine and we can continue to live without making any changes. So,working through these concepts of her denial,will be the key to providing proactive and positve suggestions. :)
Emerald and ..Dove :
When your young and have the "normal" feelings as all your peers,it is natual that you want to always do the things they are doing. However, you both know that your biochemical needs are different. This is where you have both challanged yourself. You know that your stability is something you can acheive,however,it is your responsible to make sure that it happens. Not just for a couple of days and give into "triggers" to backslide. But to stay positve and deal and cope with what you are feeling eveyday,on a stable basis. The secret to do this is proper meds and constant knowledge. :)
Eyes
Thanks for your kind words. You are surely on the right track in helping your daugher.Proactive and postive suggestions are the key. How to help her when she is in a "denial mode"? Lets try to look at what denial is to her.Is denial a mechanism of her immature mind, because it conflicts with the ability to learn from and cope with reality ? It is a defense which distorts reality, it keeps her from feeling the pain and uncomfortable truth about things we do not want to face. If we cannot feel or see the consequences of our actions, then everything is fine and we can continue to live without making any changes. So,working through these concepts of her denial,will be the key to providing proactive and positve suggestions. :)
Emerald and ..Dove :
When your young and have the "normal" feelings as all your peers,it is natual that you want to always do the things they are doing. However, you both know that your biochemical needs are different. This is where you have both challanged yourself. You know that your stability is something you can acheive,however,it is your responsible to make sure that it happens. Not just for a couple of days and give into "triggers" to backslide. But to stay positve and deal and cope with what you are feeling eveyday,on a stable basis. The secret to do this is proper meds and constant knowledge. :)
Eyes
Tweetyone
07-16-2006, 10:30 AM
Hey Eyes,
I have also replied, with age we do better or somethng like this anyways. I thought so until Friday July 14th. My husband and I had gone on a five day get away. we both needed it. Anyway I got upset on Friday after a beautifull four days of bliss. I lost it and I even know what triggered it, but somehow i just couldn't let it go! I get so mad at myself when this happens because i usually regret what i have said. I'm so lucky to have my husband because he puts up with my moods. I tried to fake it but somehow i lost it. I see my pshy on wenesday but i don't know if i well mention this too him. he will just want to change or add something to the meds i'm taking now. i'm on lamictal 250mg.
my daughter is coming home on thursday and i told her i was looking forward to it but in my mind i really don't want her to come. i can talk to her on the phone but i'm not ready to face her face to face. i know i'm going to lose it with her and i'm going to regret what i do once again. i know this doesn't make any sense and i really wish i could tell you what's going on but i can't.
i sometimes feel i would like to end it all so my family can have a better life. i wished i had found out earlier in life that i had bp maybe then i could deal with everything better. i go to talk therapy but i fake it with him too. i know he's there to help me but i don't know how to let him into my life.
sorry about this being so long and thankyou for letting me vent.
Just me
Tweetyone ( linda)
I have also replied, with age we do better or somethng like this anyways. I thought so until Friday July 14th. My husband and I had gone on a five day get away. we both needed it. Anyway I got upset on Friday after a beautifull four days of bliss. I lost it and I even know what triggered it, but somehow i just couldn't let it go! I get so mad at myself when this happens because i usually regret what i have said. I'm so lucky to have my husband because he puts up with my moods. I tried to fake it but somehow i lost it. I see my pshy on wenesday but i don't know if i well mention this too him. he will just want to change or add something to the meds i'm taking now. i'm on lamictal 250mg.
my daughter is coming home on thursday and i told her i was looking forward to it but in my mind i really don't want her to come. i can talk to her on the phone but i'm not ready to face her face to face. i know i'm going to lose it with her and i'm going to regret what i do once again. i know this doesn't make any sense and i really wish i could tell you what's going on but i can't.
i sometimes feel i would like to end it all so my family can have a better life. i wished i had found out earlier in life that i had bp maybe then i could deal with everything better. i go to talk therapy but i fake it with him too. i know he's there to help me but i don't know how to let him into my life.
sorry about this being so long and thankyou for letting me vent.
Just me
Tweetyone ( linda)
EYESTWO22
07-16-2006, 07:31 PM
Linda (tweetyone)
Most bp's will feel the ups and downs to a very high extent when they have not really found the right med comb. You have an appt. with your pdoc on Wed. It could be that a antidepressent is need. Have an open mind with the pdoc's suggestions.
Give yourself the benifit of any doubt. Open your self up. you need to learn how to 'beleive". With everyone. Your husband, and you daughter and the rest of your children.
Somewhere it was said that "pride" is the main cause of a family demise. Think about "pride" as it my relate to you depressions. If that my be a possible "trigger" than it may be part of why you have that hard time with your daughter or your husband. That "pride" may cause the moods to begain. The proper med may help. This where your pdoc can help.
Time will help you to that "stibility" Go for it :) ;)
Most bp's will feel the ups and downs to a very high extent when they have not really found the right med comb. You have an appt. with your pdoc on Wed. It could be that a antidepressent is need. Have an open mind with the pdoc's suggestions.
Give yourself the benifit of any doubt. Open your self up. you need to learn how to 'beleive". With everyone. Your husband, and you daughter and the rest of your children.
Somewhere it was said that "pride" is the main cause of a family demise. Think about "pride" as it my relate to you depressions. If that my be a possible "trigger" than it may be part of why you have that hard time with your daughter or your husband. That "pride" may cause the moods to begain. The proper med may help. This where your pdoc can help.
Time will help you to that "stibility" Go for it :) ;)
coffeegirl2
07-16-2006, 09:16 PM
Hi all.....
Tweetyone- ...Great name! :) Please be honest with yourself, your family, and your pdoc/tdoc. The pdoc/tdoc are there to work as a team effort and to help one with the Bipolar issues. It is a patients job to provide the correct information a proper solution and medications can be given for the individuals exact needs for that situation.
Thinking of you Tweetyone... Got to run. Familytime.
Hugs
Coffeegirl :angel:
Tweetyone- ...Great name! :) Please be honest with yourself, your family, and your pdoc/tdoc. The pdoc/tdoc are there to work as a team effort and to help one with the Bipolar issues. It is a patients job to provide the correct information a proper solution and medications can be given for the individuals exact needs for that situation.
Thinking of you Tweetyone... Got to run. Familytime.
Hugs
Coffeegirl :angel:
coffeegirl2
07-16-2006, 09:16 PM
Hi all.....
Tweetyone- ...Great name! :) Please be honest with yourself, your family, and your pdoc/tdoc. The pdoc/tdoc are there to work as a team effort and to help one with the Bipolar issues. It is a patients job to provide the correct information a proper solution and medications can be given for the individuals exact needs for that situation.
Thinking of you Tweetyone... Got to run. Familytime.
Hugs
Coffeegirl :angel:
Tweetyone- ...Great name! :) Please be honest with yourself, your family, and your pdoc/tdoc. The pdoc/tdoc are there to work as a team effort and to help one with the Bipolar issues. It is a patients job to provide the correct information a proper solution and medications can be given for the individuals exact needs for that situation.
Thinking of you Tweetyone... Got to run. Familytime.
Hugs
Coffeegirl :angel: