texascritter
07-14-2006, 09:41 PM
Alot of people read my thread {where to begin} one responded. If you are keeping up with what's happening, just today I talked to my wife in the state hospital and she is still determined to committ suscide. They sit outside of her room at night but she told me it's during the day that she has the best chance of susceeding. Of course I called the nurses station to have them watch her closer. I'm just pulling my hair out here. I don't understand what is happening. I'm even more scared of what to expect and do when she gets out. That's awhile away, but I need to learn as much as possible while I have the time to. I had hoped the people here who are going thru this themself or dealing with another who is going thru it. This seems to be the best place to do that. Reading helps, but talking with people directly helps much more. Please, please, when you read the thread respond. Thats why people come to this board. It's why I'm here. I'm trying to help my wife, but to do that I need help. Thank you!!!! TEXASCRITTER
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goody2shuz
07-14-2006, 10:41 PM
Hi:wave: Sorry that you feel so alone and overwhelmed....it is so clear how much you love and care about your wife. I am sorry that she is going through what she is and that you are as well.
In reading your post and some of your others it is apparent that you are dealing with your own depression. I think that at this point in time that it is sooo very important that you take care of yourself and show your wife that you are determined to live and fight to get through the depression. I just read in some of my research that when somebody lives with somebody else who is depressed they are more apt to be depressed themselves. So you really Do NOT have much control over your wife's depression but you DO somewhat have more control over overcoming yours.
I think the best thing to do is to show your wife the way by finding the meds, getting good sleep, eating right, exercising....becoming proactive in getting yourself better.
Your wife is in a place where she is being monitored more than you possibly could do. But the one thing you CAN do is take care of yourself making sure that you are getting better too so that when she gets home you are able to support her.
Call her and let her know that you love her and that you are taking good care of yourself and that you want her to do the same. That is the best you can do until they stabilize her and find the right med to make her less suicidal.
Come her and talk if it helps....sometimes people don't know the right thing to say.....you are obviously a very caring husband and your wife needs to want to live for herself. I pray that the doctors and therapists allow her to get to that point.
Take care of yourself and know that there are lots of us here who do care......Goody:angel:
In reading your post and some of your others it is apparent that you are dealing with your own depression. I think that at this point in time that it is sooo very important that you take care of yourself and show your wife that you are determined to live and fight to get through the depression. I just read in some of my research that when somebody lives with somebody else who is depressed they are more apt to be depressed themselves. So you really Do NOT have much control over your wife's depression but you DO somewhat have more control over overcoming yours.
I think the best thing to do is to show your wife the way by finding the meds, getting good sleep, eating right, exercising....becoming proactive in getting yourself better.
Your wife is in a place where she is being monitored more than you possibly could do. But the one thing you CAN do is take care of yourself making sure that you are getting better too so that when she gets home you are able to support her.
Call her and let her know that you love her and that you are taking good care of yourself and that you want her to do the same. That is the best you can do until they stabilize her and find the right med to make her less suicidal.
Come her and talk if it helps....sometimes people don't know the right thing to say.....you are obviously a very caring husband and your wife needs to want to live for herself. I pray that the doctors and therapists allow her to get to that point.
Take care of yourself and know that there are lots of us here who do care......Goody:angel:
texascritter
07-14-2006, 10:54 PM
Thanks so much for replying. It helps to get replys.Your right I need to take care of myself. There is more that I could do to help that along. I will try to get a better support system in place for myself. I actually got mad tonight when she told me more or less that she's going to try again. I told her there are alot of people who love and care about her and her response was so what. She said I got her there which I know she did this to herself. It still touched a nerve. She ask what more I wanted. I told her to get better and for her to be happy. I sometimes think I did'nt sign up for this and how easy life would be without all the problems that come with being married to her. I just love her and I'm sure she would rather this not be the way it is either. I'll stick by her no matter what happens. I've never walked away even I should have and I would have been better off without her. So is getting mad a normal response? Thanks again TEXASCRITTER
Strawberry.hill
07-14-2006, 11:06 PM
I'm here, I posted a note in your other post.:blob_fire
Strawberry
Strawberry
goody2shuz
07-14-2006, 11:14 PM
So is getting mad a normal response? Thanks again TEXASCRITTER
Often when one is depressed the anger and frustration that one feels is displaced upon others....often the ones we know that will love us despite anything we may say. So although it may be hurtful you can take comfort in knowing that your wife sees you as somebody who will be there for her when she gets through all of this!!
Try to remember that until she is stabilized it is the illness speaking and not your wife.
I am glad that you are going to focus on taking care of yourself. Beleive me.....that is the best thing you can do right now because your wife needs your strength to get through this.
Keep your chin up and focused upon doing whatever you need to that will get you feeling better.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel:
Often when one is depressed the anger and frustration that one feels is displaced upon others....often the ones we know that will love us despite anything we may say. So although it may be hurtful you can take comfort in knowing that your wife sees you as somebody who will be there for her when she gets through all of this!!
Try to remember that until she is stabilized it is the illness speaking and not your wife.
I am glad that you are going to focus on taking care of yourself. Beleive me.....that is the best thing you can do right now because your wife needs your strength to get through this.
Keep your chin up and focused upon doing whatever you need to that will get you feeling better.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel:
texascritter
07-14-2006, 11:28 PM
Great advise. Thats why I came to this board. I'm going to try to get myself as strong as possible before she gets out. Two down people can't be good for either one of us. Thanks again!!! TEXASCRITTER
emeraldeyes114
07-14-2006, 11:33 PM
Hey Tex!
I tried replying once before but this site or the comp wouldn't let me. I don't know hopefully this time it will make it to the board before the power goes out. We got a storm brewing. I agree with Goody quite a lot. Listen to what she says she is smart and offers awesome advice. That being said I know I felt much like your wife did when I was in the hospital back in October. I had docs who weren't listening, the meds weren't working, and it seemed hopeless. Once the meds got changed and I was no longer feeling like a heart attack waiting to happen (med side effect) I didn't feel that way anymore. But do take care of you. Like they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Meaning you can want for someone to feel better or not be a certain way but you can't make it happen for them. It will take time for her to get to a better place. She is lucky to have someone so loving and caring as you are in her life and I know she knows it too. So take time out for yourself and in doing that it will in the end help her too.
Emerald
I tried replying once before but this site or the comp wouldn't let me. I don't know hopefully this time it will make it to the board before the power goes out. We got a storm brewing. I agree with Goody quite a lot. Listen to what she says she is smart and offers awesome advice. That being said I know I felt much like your wife did when I was in the hospital back in October. I had docs who weren't listening, the meds weren't working, and it seemed hopeless. Once the meds got changed and I was no longer feeling like a heart attack waiting to happen (med side effect) I didn't feel that way anymore. But do take care of you. Like they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Meaning you can want for someone to feel better or not be a certain way but you can't make it happen for them. It will take time for her to get to a better place. She is lucky to have someone so loving and caring as you are in her life and I know she knows it too. So take time out for yourself and in doing that it will in the end help her too.
Emerald
goody2shuz
07-14-2006, 11:44 PM
Why thank you, Emerald, for the wonderful compliment;) I once was not good at acknowledging compliments but learned that it is important to do so!! I am good at taking some advice too!!:D
Tex ~ that's the attitude!!! I think that helping ourselves at times is as important as helping others!! And I am sure that you will do all that you can do to be physically, mentally, and spiritually strong for your wife.
Come here whenever you need a push to get you there....there are plenty of us here to help out in that way!!:angel:
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:wave:
Tex ~ that's the attitude!!! I think that helping ourselves at times is as important as helping others!! And I am sure that you will do all that you can do to be physically, mentally, and spiritually strong for your wife.
Come here whenever you need a push to get you there....there are plenty of us here to help out in that way!!:angel:
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:wave:
texascritter
07-14-2006, 11:47 PM
Thanks for replying. I'm learning alot and feel like I'm not alone in this. When things were crisis for you were you mad at everyone who seemed to be against you. Do people come around and understand you were trying to help them and not their worst enemy. My wife has family who will help her if she was'nt with me. They keep trying to find ways to blame me for all this. Like I can cause someone to have bi-polar problems. I know the truth, but if she wants to better her odds of suscess all she has to do is leave me and get around them. They don't understand how skeeming she can be. They will leave her alone and with me she knows her liklyhood of suscess is small. I have mixed feeling on what to do. Of course I can't stop her from leaving. I will feel really guilty if she susceeds as will they, but it will be to late then. I have to admit I feel for her and I know if I wanted to die I'd be upset if someone keep keeping me from susceeding. Thanks for replying TEXASCRITTER