Starting to feel a little weak and shaky today. Maybe due to my cut to 7mg yesterday? :confused: . Been sitting outside in the terrible heat at the garage sale. Hope to go swimming at my cousin's soon - if my father-in-law will let me get away from that BLAZING garage sale! Swimming seems to help. Just hoping and praying I feel better soon. Will update later.

Keep up the good work! If swimming helps, then I say swim baby swim! You are really coming along, so keep going strong. I hope you can get out of that heat!!

Lezlee

Ozzybug,

So much for swimming - getting too late in the day and still need to mow grass - maybe swim tomorrow. Feeling a little better being indoors right now. Feeling tired, but forcing myself to not nap today. Very tempting though! Planning on getting to bed early tonight; but, I usually start feeling better at night and end up staying up really late. I've also been waking up really early, too. Only reason I can figure is my tapering. Today is Day 2 on 7mg and I think I'm feeling it. I still plan to stick to it though - my rule is NO UPPING MY DOSE!

Thanks for posting :D

Istherelight,

I know what you mean about feeling better at night and not wanting to go to bed. That is my problem..I manage to fight all day successfully, but when the sun goes down, and I get relaxed, I feel I "owe'" myself for fighting all day and take more hyrdros than I planned. I've always been a nite owl...I prefer dusk than dawn..waking up for work with the alarm makes me want to vomit. But, I have to. I get about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Even when I can sleep in, like today, I wake up at 5:30, than 7:00, etc. When I do force myself out of bed, it's a game of equalizing..taking my dose of hydro, sweating and fatigue, but an hour or two into the day my energy kicks in. About 2:00, I promise myself I will go to bed early, but the cycle starts again and that never happens. When I was married, going to bed was a pleasure, but now I avoid it b/c I hate waking up alone. My BF is four states away, and I can't move just yet. I pray things will change once we can have a normal life together. Hang in there. OK, now go to bed and I will, too.

LisaV.

Lisa,

Thanks for your story. Very similar to mine (except for the meds). I stayed up late again last night. Woke up at 7:30am though - on a Sunday, when I could have slept in. Feel ok this morning, though -so far. I hope you get to be with your b/f soon. I know waking up alone must be bad - especially while trying to get through the day without him being there to support you. Are you tapering or trying to quit the hydros?

Hope you got some sleep last night and I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there, be patient, have determination, and you will pull out of this. Don't hesitate to post if you need someone to talk to. I'm here to try to help others; although, I'm still struggling to get off my pills.

Hope you have a great day :angel:

Isthere-
I hope today is a good one for you girl! You have really come a long way in your tapering, so I know you can keep being strong. We're all here for you!:wave:

Lezlee

Ozzybug,

Thank you. You are such a supportive person. It makes me feel good to get posts like yours.

I'm hanging in there for the long-haul. Still feel ok so far today - even though I'm feeling slight w/d symptoms - not near as bad as yesterday. Hope it stays that way.

Thanks so much for your support. You're an angel. :angel:

After posting this morning (with my plans being to float in a pool today), I got really frustrated with my husband. He didn't want to go to the pool, so before he confirmed with me for sure, he asked our 3yr old if she wanted to go to the beach. Of course, her reply was YES! He said that we needed a family day where we would ALL have fun. My 3yr old is terrified of swimming pools, but loves beaches, rivers, creeks - places where her feet touch the bottom - so he didn't think it was fair to go to the pool. I DID NOT want to go to the beach. Hot, crowded, sandy, just too much dang trouble! Not to mention the beach water was like bath water, definitely over 85 degrees. I was not looking forward to this trip. But, as we turned onto the beach, one of the first trucks we saw belonged to one of our neighbors. They are really cool and they invited us to come hang out with them. So we did. It actually turned out that I had a good, family fun day at the beach with our neighbor friends. They are pretty big on drinking, offered my husband and I a beer, and we said no - even though it sounded good, we knew the consequences.

We left the beach in good spirits and went to our cousins for dinner. Came home, gave the kids a shower, took our showers (and our evening dose) and are doing fine now. I did get pretty sunburned, but that's the least of my worries now. I feel tired, but the beach, sand, and sun sure do take a lot out of you.

I'm starting to get short-tempered sometimes. Kind of moody. They only last a few minutes and then I'm fine. I'm assuming this is due to tapering. This is day 3 and still on 7mg.

Have to take my 3yr old to the eye doctor pretty early in the morning. Hoping for another good day.

Day 4 on 7mg. Woke up feeling alright again. Had to take both my kids to my 3yr old dr. appt. I thought I was going to pull out all my hair before it was all said and done. We were there for 2 hours, and my kids were getting very impatient and starting to be bad. I started getting short tempered and ready to get the heck out of there, too!

I'm home now, but not really in the best of spirits. Kind of grumpy and want to just go to bed. I know if I do, I will feel terrible later.

STILL STICKING TO MY TAPER PLAN! Seems to be working ok, with minimal w/d symptoms. Plan to taper again in 2 days.

My day got progressively worse. Shortly after I got home from the eye doctor, my husband came in. He was not in a good mood. He is stabilized at 9mg/day right now, but I think he is scared to taper. He had an awful experience several months ago when we tried to both quit c/t. I think he was near siezures or even worse. He already has high blood pressure. It scared the living daylights out of him - and me too!

Anyway, after sitting at the doctor's office for 2 hours with my children, I wasn't in the best mood to begin with. My husband's truck was broke down and he needed to replace the starter in it. All I could hear while sitting here on the computer was him out in the garage cussing and yelling (not at me, but at that darn truck). I finally had enough and went to bed. I was really angry - he didn't realize what a bad day I had so when he was mad, it just made it twice as bad for me. I only slept 1.5-2 hours - much better than the naps I take that last 6. I woke up feeling better and my husband apologized.

I'm still at 7mg and doing ok so far. Hope and pray every day that the next will be better.

Day 5 on 7mg. Doing ok so far. Plan to cut to 6.5mg tomorrow. I'm excited about that - another step for me - but a little afraid of what symptoms I may encounter. Can't worry about that today though. I'm taking this one day at a time with high hopes for the next day. Got to go grocery shopping today with my kids. Grocery shopping is a chore for me anyway, but with my kids tagging along, it can get crazy!!:dizzy:

Got back from the grocery store - very agitated. I bought my kids almost everything they wanted and when we got home, they decided that they didn't want to help unload the $200 in groceries. I got very angry and told them to go to their rooms and not come out! After unloading all the groceries - ugh - I let them eat lunch. When I sat down at my computer, I realized that it was time for my mid-day dose. Maybe that's why I was so agitated???

I am normally watching the clock waiting for my next dose, but today somehow time slipped away. I guess this is a good thing.

I'm not eating like I should be. I have to force myself to eat sometimes and sometimes I don't eat until noon or later. I know this is NOT a good thing. I didn't eat until after the grocery store - around 2pm. After eating, I started moving boxes out to our storage building and started feeling sick to my stomach and very "yucky". I need to get on a better eating schedule and make myself eat at least 3 meals daily. I usually skip breakfast because I'm never hungry in the mornings. Nothing ever sounds good when I wake up.

Thanks to all who have been so supportive. :)

Day 3 on 6.5mg xanax. Yesterday was not so well, but today I'm feeling better. Tapering every 5 days seems to be working out fairly well for me. :)

It would be easier if you could switch to a benzo with a longer half life like valium.If not then keep up the good work and hang in there....Dave:)

Isthere-
Good morning sunshine...
I just wanted to wish you a happy Friday, don't know what the weather will be like where you are, but here it's a major heat wave.

Stay cool, and know I'll be thinking about you. Have a good day, and as always, take care!

Your Friend-
Lezlee

mptv,

Thanks for your advice. Today is my first day to cut my dose to 6mg/day. When I stabilize at this dose, I plan to slowly taper with valium while cutting my xanax dose.

:wave: Jami

Ozzybug,

Hi. Hope your doing good. Made my cut to 6mg/day today. This is a major turning point for me. Now I can start my taper using valium with my xanax cut.
Woke up feeling a little shaky today, still don't feel as good as I have, BUT my PMS has lifted!:)
I have a coffee drinking habit in the mornings (which isn't supposed to be good while tapering), but it sure is good with my cigarettes...which I plan to quit after I conquer this xanax poison addiction. It can't be near as bad! I've quit smoking before and it was a piece of cake compared to quitting benzos.

Thanks for posting and hope to hear from you again soon.

Jami :D

Hi there, so good to hear your still stickin with your plan,way to go.Remember not to be in a rush to get off these pills although that's your ultimate goal.Benzodiazepine withdrawl can be dangerous if you make big cuts to quickly.So take it slow and let your body adjust to the new serum level.You can beat this it just takes time and lots of patients.Keep talkin here, it's theriputic(sp).Oh well,I'm not going to win any awards for spelling.Hang in there, you can do this.....Dave:)

istherelight,

I know what you mean about not wanting to eat in the morning. What has worked for me, and this may sound silly, is I bought a blender and a smoothie book. There are great ideas in the book, and you may have to buy fruit, yogurt, soy milk, whatever, but once you find one you like, you can mix one and suck it down and know you've done something healthy for yourself. It's so important to eat and keep up your nourishment. I also take the Big 50 B vitamins..that's all your B6, B12's, etc. You should take one in the morning, b/c most are time released and can keep you awake at night if you take them too late. I think 12 hours before going to bed is OK. The B vitamins help with w'd/s by restoring vitamin levels that can get depleted with any addiction. You have to do both..get rid of the addiction..and get your nutrient levels up. That will make your recovery more successful...you won't feel so cruddy and will also be on the road to doing things that are healthy.

Hang in there, you will be OK if you really try. I have tried a couple of times and relapsed, but this time it's different. I am not "learning" anymore about how to succeed, and that is due to this board and a lot of internet research on how to get over addiction. Now all I have to do is taper, get through the first month or two off the drugs, and follow the healthy habits I have gained such as the smoothies and working out. Working out is another things I found that helps you sweat out the hard times, and sets you up for another positive pattern of healthy living once you are successful. Hey, many people who were addicting drugs have a behavior pattern that wants more of anything, so even working out becomes an addicting, and the adrenaline is fantastic. It also buys you time; I do it when I get home so that's one hour not thinking about the drugs. Then I spend time after that drinking water and feeling positive.

Good luck and keep us posted. You are going to do this if you really want to. You know what the other choices are, and wanting to get better is the only choice it takes to be OK one day...soon. The other choices end nowhere.

Lisa

Dave,

Thanks for your encouraging post. I'm not rushing this thing...I know I can't. I've been doing well with my .5mg/day cut every 5 days. Now, that I'm down to 6mg/day, I may have to slow down a little. I have the determination to do this. All I have to do is look at my kids.

Thanks again,

Jami

Lisa,

Thanks. Smoothies...yum! My problem is that I drink coffee in the mornings, which isn't good while tapering, and that takes my hunger away. Maybe I'll try your smoothie idea...sounds delicious!

I was working out in a gym before my daughter got out of school for the summer. It really did help me. Now that I have both of my kids for the summer (and I'm out of school for the summer), it's hard to go to the gym. My house is pretty much a large toy box, so there's not much room here to work out. It's too hot outside to take a walk or ride a bicycle...not to mention the mosquitos. Plus, the heat seems to aggravate my w/d symptoms.

Thanks for the info on the vitamins...and everything else!

:wave: Jami

Jami-
I've been thinking about you sweetie. Just wanted to let you know.....:wave:

(((Hugs)))
Lezlee

Jami,

I know what you mean about trying to work out in this heat! I live in Chicago, a bit different than the climate in Texas, but it's been in the 90's here and humid all month. I have a machine in my house that is old and ugly, and is totally in the way. But, I don't care..it's there staring at me until I get on and sweat my butt off. It's so hot, but the feeling of sweat on my neck makes me feel like I am sweating out the toxins. I also do not have the cravings for an hour or so after I work out; all I want is water and then look forward to a healthy dinner. That has to help..it can't hurt, and we all know that is a huge part of recovery is getting healthy, in all aspects of our lives. The best thing is thinking about the days before the drug...we all lived without them at one time. Yes, the thought of them may be here to stay for a while, but eventually there is just no way to go back if you are healthy, and want to be that way for a loooong time! I want my shape back and I want my freedom back. That's how I see it!

Hang in there, and let us know what we can do for you.

Lisa

Ozzybug,

Thanks for thinking about me...you're so sweet. Makes me feel good that people like you out there care!

Today is day 3 for me at 6mg. Doing ok...a few stomache problems. It's been raining...actually flooding...down here. My kids were swimming in the ditches!! Oh, how I wish I was a kid again.

Thanks for the sweet post,

Jami ;)

Lisa,

That's what keeps me going...thinking about the days before this poison bit me on the back! I know the day is coming when we all will be back to the "good ole days" when every day is not a constant battle.

I think I may join my little gym again when my daughter starts school in 2 weeks. It really did seem to help me. And like you, after the work out, I craved water and a good meal. Also a good distraction and passes time.

Thanks for posting and have a great night. Hope you can cool off - it seems strange to me that nearly this entire country is soooo hot.

Thanks again,

Jami

Jami,

I am tapering off of Hydrocodone, and I am still a bit scared of the day (about 4 to go) when I am out. I am down to 1 1/2 pills a day, sometimes only one; so that makes me think the tapering has ended due to my will-power. This won't quietly; but I hope since I am on so little now, that the w/d's have some mercy on me. For me, the tension and mental aspect of not having that safety net every day, even if it's just a little net, is what is beating me down. I live alone since my divorce last October, and I know that part of this is lack of human interaction when I am alone at night. During the day, with my friends at work, or with my family and other friends, I will feel like crap without really caring. But when alone, it makes my skin crawl. We'll see what happens.

Good luck with your taper; let us know how it goes. Keep up the healthy habits, and keep in touch and we'll beat this together.

Lisa

Wow, I just found and read this whole thread. I have been trying to taper off Xanax too. I had no idea it was so addictive, physically. Otherwise, I would have never taken it. I was taking 1.5 mgs total per day and I have gotten down to 1 mg, but before I knew how dangerous it was, I tried to cold turkey, and it was just beyond awful. Every muscle in my body got hard as a rock, my head felt like it was going to explode and my extremities were tingling and numb, and I had inner shaking. That awful feeling made me look up withdrawal symptoms. It was nice to read this whole thread because it gives me hope that one day I can stop taking these damn things. I plan on getting .25 mgs, so I can go down further really slowly. It's just really making a mess out of my body, although I have no psychological addiction. I only want one because my body hurts. Someone told me to take Benedryl in between doses when the withdrawal symptoms start and that way it'll take the edge off before I take the next dose. Is that a good idea? :confused:

Benedryl has helped many, but it will make you tired. Just make sure you can take Benedryl without a problem. It's rare but, like me, I can't take that b/c it makes my heart race and on top of the w/d's, can get a bit serious. You know your body, but use it cautiously, and hopefully it will help at this time. As always, I think it's best to talk to your doctor; most docs handle this better than you think, and they don't want the records to show that they sent you away or gave you the wrong advice. Good luck...I hope it helps and you get through this! Keep us posted.

Lisa

Hi Lisa: thanks for the info. I wouldn't mind at all if it made me sleepy, that way I could sleep through it, lol! I don't plan on taking it though until I get further down with the Xanax. When I am able to get by on 2/.25's a day, then I'll start trying the Benedryl. I read online that Benedryl can have an interaction with Xanax, but if you take it 8 hours after the Xanax, then I guess it wouldn't. Now I worry about taking anything! :dizzy:

Jami,

I am tapering off of Hydrocodone, and I am still a bit scared of the day (about 4 to go) when I am out. I am down to 1 1/2 pills a day, sometimes only one; so that makes me think the tapering has ended due to my will-power. This won't quietly; but I hope since I am on so little now, that the w/d's have some mercy on me. For me, the tension and mental aspect of not having that safety net every day, even if it's just a little net, is what is beating me down. I live alone since my divorce last October, and I know that part of this is lack of human interaction when I am alone at night. During the day, with my friends at work, or with my family and other friends, I will feel like crap without really caring. But when alone, it makes my skin crawl. We'll see what happens.

Good luck with your taper; let us know how it goes. Keep up the healthy habits, and keep in touch and we'll beat this together.

Lisa


Lisa,
I also start getting major anxiety when I start running low on my meds. I have learned to not let this happen if at all possible. Is there any way you can get more from your doc? The fear of running out is almost like the fear of "being out". I can't imagine being alone at this point. My husband is also in the same situation as I am. We are both doing this together, therefore, we can support each other and know why we are so irritable sometimes. Makes it much easier. Also, we can take turns taking care of the kids when he's not working. When you're alone, try to distract yourself from this...clean your house, rent a movie, take a walk (exercise is very good for w/d's), call a friend, etc. Also, hot baths or showers can be relaxing and calming as well.

You can beat this, just as I can...so hang in there. Feel free to post on my thread if you need any more support or advice.

Good luck and hope your day is bright (but not hot!)

:)
Jami

:wave: Ozzybug,

Thinking of YOU today...beat ya to it! :p

I'm feeling a little better today. Day 4 on 6mg. Got to go to the grocery store AGAIN today...with the kids. Hope my sanity is still intact when I get back! :dizzy:

Hope you're doing great today.

Have a good one,

Jami ;)

Thank You Jami!

That grocery store shopping is horrible enough when you don't have anyone with you! Try and keep your sanity, and buy yourself something extra sinful, like a huge cake, or maybe something sweet from the frozen section since it's soooo hot out!

Take Care, and be safe, as always, you keep doing what you're doing!!

Sending Hugs-
Lezlee

Lezlee,

Made it back from the store...still sane (well...as sane as I can possibly be at this point!). I DID get me some orange creamsicles from the frozen food section. Can't wait to eat one! We got in and out of there pretty quick. Got home, fed the kids, and made myself a ham, cheese, and tomato (my new favorite fruit that I never liked before now) sandwich on wheat bread.

I had it all planned out...before the grocery store, I was going to go to the small gym (that I've not been to in several weeks) and work out some of these toxins in my xanax battered body - they have a little room where kids can play. I was feeling pretty good this morning, so I figured today was as good as any to try to start working out again. As I pulled into the parking lot...no cars :confused: . So, I pulled up to the door only to see a sign "New Summer Hours M-Th 12p-8p".:mad: My heart sunk...I was really in the mood to work out RIGHT THEN - AT 10:30AM!!!!! NOT AT 12PM!!!! Maybe later I can somehow find the motivation to go back.

Thanks for posting...it's always a blessing to hear from you ;) .

Jami