Hello all. I have just found this message board so let me introduce myself. My name is Elvia. My husband who is bp and I live in Texas. I just found out that he has been weening himself off of all his bp meds. He calls is "detoxing" because "the meds do more harm than good." So anyway he has become more agitated and confused. And has recently quit his job because he got into a shouting match with his boss. This is nothing new to us as a couple. He has been in hospital in-patient treatment 4 times since weve been together. But this time he refuses to get any treatment. He will tell me that bp disorder is a "state of mind". Then deny he said anything like that. He will also mumble cuss words at me under his breath and swear up and down that im just hearing things. I need any help you can give me. I KNOW for a fact that if he dosent get treatment his anger and confusion will only get worse.

Well,hello! Welcome to the boards! It sounds like you have your hands full! First of all, I want to say that you are not alone! There are many people here that post that are married/partners with a bp. I am married to a bp husband. He's on anti-depression meds. and was just given a mood stablizer from his PDOC which he has NOT started to take yet. He thinks it may be his 'hormone' level--so he's going to see a specialist on Aug. 7 to 'rule this problem' out BEFORE taking the new med. :eek: I wish he would start it NOW...but whatever I say is nonsense to him. How did you find out you husband has been weening himself off the meds.? My husband has done that several times! He goes into fits of anger & rage, too. EVERYTHING is MY fault, of course. Does your husband say the same things to you? :blob_fire

He told me a few days ago that he had stopped all meds because they were doing more damage to him than good. And yes I get the "you dont understand, it's your fault" speach often when he's off his meds. I have been reading many of the posts on this message board and like others have said they are going through the same thing that I am. It is very comforting to know that we as spouses/loved ones/friends are not alone. I am going to call the hospital he was last admitted to and find out when the family support groups are held. It is hard for me to take care of myself when I know I have a sick husband at home who is choosing to remin unstable, but I know that I have to make sure that im healthy enough to be there for him. Thank you for your kind words and dont stop responding. I an willing to listen to any rational advise. :)

Hi, ElviaP.:wave: I think that in a Bipolar unmedicated/unstabilized mind there is no rational thinking....it isn't until one is stabilized on the right meds that they are able to be "balanced" enough to see and accept that they have a disorder that requires the meds in order to survive. It's like alot of the more experienced and wiser folks here;) often say.....someone who is Bipolar requires meds just as the diabetic requires insulin. Unfortunately, a diabetic is able to see that a little clearer than somebody who is Bipolar and in a manic state of mind.

Anyway.....realizing this may help you to understand a little bit better that until your husband finds the right med that makes him see things any differently he will continue to think this way. The thing is getting him to take the meds until he is somewhat stabilized and tweeking them until he is feeling good and then talking to him.....there is no rationalizing with a unmedicated Bipolar mind. You must find that window of opportunity and seize the moment.

Yes there's tons of support here and many who are walking in your two shoes. Knowing that you are not alone is the best thing in the world and a saving grace during those rough times!! Again welcome and hoping that things will get better for you real soon.

((((HUGS))))) until you get to stabilization ~ Goody:angel:

The day I tell my husband that I am going off my meds, I want him to pack up and leave me and not come back until I get help.
I mean it.
Tough love is tough love. So is self preservation for you folks who love us.
:angel:

hi,
my exhusband was bipolar and scizophrenic and refused to take ne meds so i know what ur going thru and it's really hard. he just kept getting worse and worse until one day he tried to kill me so i just had to leave. i hope to God things don't get this bad for you. i hope he can open his eyes and see how much he's hurting you and himself. but if it gets as bad as it did for me you have to leave. i know how it feels to want to stand by him and help him get thru this but goody is right, there is no rationalizing with him in this state of mind. if ur determined to help him you might wanna think about institutionalizing him so they can watch him and know exactly what his symptoms are so they know how to better medicate him. and once he's on the RIGHT meds he will see the difference and change his mind. i'm bipolar too and i also wouldn't take my meds coz they weren't working for me and i had to do this to get on the right meds and now i feel great about it. i sincerely hope all works out well for you and your husband and he gets the help he needs.
much love,
dove:angel:

Well I've had a long talk with my mother-in-law and she recomended that I go to the public health department and talk to a judge about getting a warrent for him. It is one of the toughest thnigs I will have to do. But he's 6'3 and 240 lbs. So if he dosent want to go I can't make him, physically. I know my husband will be very very angry at me,but I've always told him that his health is my #1 concern. Has anyone else had to go to these lengths to get a loved one the help they need?

ElviaP, I have not had to go to that point but I have certainly considered doing some pretty radical. I guess my answer would be if there is the threat of imminent danger to you or family then yes..do what ever it takes. Take care. Oz :)

I have already gotten a court order for emergency commitment for my husband. I was going to use it this passed weekend when he got very angry and myself and his family. I decided to wait until this Friday to have it served. You see his birthday is on Thursday. Lets see how it goes. Last time we took him for an assesment and they asked him if he would be willing to check himself in and he said no. In the state of Texas you have to have the court order if they aren't willing to go voluntarily.

Annette