My sister's boyfriend told her that when her baby wakes up at night or whenever to get her back to sleep she should rub the baby's head & rub her back until she goes to sleep isn't that rude??? And she does it.
It makes me mad :*( :*( :*(
She should pick her up & rock her like a mom is suppossed to do.
What does everyone think???

ok, dont get angry with me, this is just my opinion but,,,, i think her boyfriend is right.
when a baby cries (you didnt mention how old your sister's child was) and you rush straight to them, pick them up and rock them back to sleep, they rely on that then they think, oh yeah if i cry a little i get instant attention. im not saying never pick baby up and rock her but there are times when just showing that you are there for her like stroking her head or back is better (like 3 am).

I kinda agree but then I don't. Because If you pick up your child everytime they cry they will expect it all the time at night and that can be tough on mom. The rubbing just soothes the baby back to sleep. But if the baby is screaming her head off alot I would then pick the baby up. But if the baby goes back to sleep just from the touch. Then I would stick with it.

I don't think the boyfriend's advice is wrong or rude-we all have different parenting strategies. I do think maybe there is more to it than what you are initially asking. Do you not like this guy?

I have to agree with the PP's and the boyfriend. If you can get baby back to sleep by rubbing her back then great baby doesn't learn that she has to be picked up everytime she wakes and still feels comforted. Sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear.

I, too, agree with the boyfriend. If you can help your children learn to go back to sleep "by themselves" then they will indeed sleep better later on. If it's a baby that needs to be feed or if a diaper needs changing then obviously that's a different matter.

I think it depends on the age. If the baby is young (under 4 months) then I think picking up is definately the way to go. Around 4-6 months a mom may want to try and pat the baby's back instead of picking up. It is a personal choice. I did not do the back pat thing until my DS was 9 months. At least he is not telling her to leave the baby alone to cry for hours.

Some moms can rock their baby for years. That's great if you can do that.