My 11 year old stepson has been diagnosed with IBS and anxiety. My stepson can eat whatever he wants without having an attack. But if we go to leave the house, he says he is getting "sick". He will go to the bathroom and have a bowel movement. The doctors want him to be on Miralax and Ranitidine (or Zantac) daily. The Miralax makes his bowel movements very pastey and messy. So, we have backed off of the laxative, either giving it to him every other day or 1/2 dose daily. I guess my question is....why is he having pain with his bowel movements? After he has a bowel movement, he is usually fine. I could understand if it was diarrhea.....that usually causes stomach pains....but it's usually formed. I am very confused whether it's actually IBS or anxiety. I am watching whatever he has, suck the life out of him. He doesn't want to go anywhere in fear of having an attack. Part of me thinks it's in his head that he gets himself worked up into an attack. This stomach thing has been ongoing for the past 3 years causing him to miss 53 days of school in 3rd grade, 55 days of school in 4th grade and 38 days of school in 5th grade. The teacher told us that he needs to get it under control THIS year or else he will probably fail due to the assignments getting harder. I thought over the summer it would help, but he's the worst I have seen him yet. I am scared since school is only a few weeks away. What do you guys think of this?

Six-
It's awful to have to watch your child go through such anxiety. Can I ask you some questions?

Does he get picked on or harassed at school? Has he lost a loved one in his past? Any kind of traumatic experience in his past? Does he do well in school as far as his grades go? If not, does he have any kind of learning disability? (I actually prefer to call them learning differences- my son has dyslexia)

It sounds like your step son deffinately has more than just physical symptoms and problems. Have you ever had, or thought of having some sort of psychological counselling for him? There is some reason why he has anxiety every time he has to leave the house, and if there is some sort of chemical imbalance or pyschological reason for it, it would be best treated by a doctor who specializes in this field.

He is so young, and should be able to enjoy his youth without being torn up by whatever is causing this anxiety. It almost sounds like agoriphobia (sp?) Poor little fella. I know it's not easy to cope with something like this, but just know this isn't something that's his fault, I'm sure he'd much rather be able to leave the house and not have such anxiety over it.

My husband got upset because our son, 12 years old was affraid to swallow an antibiotic pill last year when he was sick. Until that time, he either always had liquid medicine, or I'd crush the pill and sprinkle it in applesauce or a small amount of juice for him. Well, he actually almost had a trul anxiety attack and my husband couldn't understand this and got angry. I had to step in and calm the situation down and inform my husband that our son wasn't just being difficult. He really had a true and valid fear of swallowing that pill. I can understand because I have had panic/anxiety attacks before.

Sorry to have gone off-track there, but I just want to make sure that anyone who has a child that suffers a valid anxiety/panic of any kind knows that these children are not trying to be difficult, they need paitience, understanding and support.

Sixx- I do hope your stepson will be able to get through this and be able to overcome his anxieties over leaving the house. I know this, in itself probably causes a great deal of emotional strain on him as well. Good Luck sweetie.

Lezlee

PS- I forgot to mention the first go around that it sounds like the IBS is maybe just a "side effect" of the anxiety, and maybe if you guys can find the help to get to the root/cause of the anxiety, then hopefully the IBS will even out. I suffer IBS, but it's not induced by anxiety attacks.

hi i'm new to this board , I have ibs , my 16 yr old dd my 14 yr ds my son has had it very bad , hos. runs lots of missed school it can be sooo painfull my kids take mirolax and they go to a gastro. the reg. dr. had good intentions but i finally got him is the sp. and they said he was being under medicated? he has been completly full and been on mirolax for 2 yrs and the sp. told me he was still under med. soo he has more mirolax fibercon chewables, and 2 choc. exlax at night i thought for sure this was to much and we have done it this way for about 3 weeks so far so good!!although he can like jump on a trampoline right know (we don't have one the dr. said he shouldn't be on any thing with that motion:eek: any way he doesn't have any stomache pain any more it is soo nice my ds used to get it before school every morning but he loved school later in the day he was alittle better but any way we also have homescholled for 1 year though he still goes to a home school school 2 x a week. this stuff sure can be awfull my be another dr. could be helpfull ? are you able to see a sp?? my family dr. although we like him and seems to know the sp. seems to really understand the intensty of the prob. good luck!!

My husband and I thought the same thing. We thought he was getting bullied and school. We set up an appointment with his teacher and she told us just the opposite. He is very well liked, if not the most popular kid in the class. He has tons of friends and is a leader. The kids what to do what he does. He does very good in school and doesn't struggle with any subject. So far anyway. However, his biological mother is clinically depressed and is retired for it. She is nutty. Its very complex actually. She threatens suicide. Just the other night she tore up his money for not bringing a sweater home from our home that is obviously useless during the summer. Lots of bizarre things that definately add to his anxiety. So that definately explains where he gets the anxiety. She recently had a heart attack now everytime he does something wrong.....the hand goes across her heart and she is about ready to have another one because of him! LOL! Drama Queen. So, it puts a lot of pressure on him. She has gotten him 3 dogs and gave them all to his grandparents which my stepson has strict orders from the court to not be around due to his grandfather being a child molester. This again, is just the tip of the iceburg of his home life with his mother. No stability, no structure.

I am just wondering why he gets the pain before his bowel movement? Is this a part of IBS? When I feel a bowel movement coming on....I would describe it more as pressure than anything. Not pain and no discomfort. He holds his stomach like he is going to double over. He goes to the bathroom and walks out with a smile. It's just bizarre to me. Rarely is it ever diarrhea.

Kelly

ladybuggy02,
Now you got me wondering.......My stepson had being going to the bathroom daily, but still having the stomachaches. So my husband took him to the hospital. They did an X-Ray and said he was full! My husband was shocked. So that is when they started him on the laxative. But the problem is, is that now when he takes the full amount that he is supposed to, his BM is too soft, very messy and not formed. When is isn't on it, he has what I consider to be a normal BM. So, should I continue him on the laxative or not? Should I cut back? Or should it be more? I don't know what to do.

Kelly

I am very confused whether it's actually IBS or anxiety.

The gut & the brain derive from the same embryonic tissue. The gut manufactures the same neurotransmitters as the brain does, and the two organs are close cousins in terms of its function. There is a very strong physiological connection -- not just ephemeral/emotional, but neurochemical -- between the function of the gut & the brain in various mental states.

So rather than an either/or situation, it may be that both factors are rooted in physiology. If you DSS's biological mom has psych issues, DSS may be dealing with both his own genetic predispositions as well as with the very difficult life you describe.

Is Mom in treatment for her issues? Sounds like she could really use some meds, or med tweaking. That would be the best for the child. They may need family therapy together as well.

If your DSS is seeing only a pediatrician or GP doc, you might ask for referral to a gastroenterologist. There are new meds for IBS-C that act like SSRIs for the gut, but these meds aren't in the typical ped's toolbox.

Please keep a close eye on this child. The life you have described for him runs very close to the line, maybe over, for emotional abuse. Mom is obviously unstable. As DSS approaches puberty, there may be difficult times ahead. Try to keep a welcome mat out for him.

Best wishes.

I tend to get myself in trouble when I open my big mouth, but...Just on the surface, it sounds like his biological mother and grandfather are the major part of this little fella's problem. Does she have custody of him? If so, I've got to wonder why. In this case, just because she's his biological mom is no good reason. If, for whatever reason, you and his dad can't take him, I would think foster care would be a better alternative. He shouldn't have to be dealing with something this big. He definitely can't deal with it on his own. Good luck.
P.S.Do his doctors and school know about all of this baggage?

hi sounds like every one has great advise i totally agree with maybe a gastro! everybody is diff. with what treatment they need the dr. will give you details on what may work for your son. hang in there :D though it may seem endless:dizzy: keep going untell you get the help he needs it sounds like you and your hubby are on the right trac.

Puddin,
Yes, the mother has custody. Though he is over here more often than over there. She can't get him to school. So we usually keep him during the school week and she gets him on an occasional weekend or so! But, we are paying child support! Go figure. My husband fought for custody, but they believed my stepson would be better with his mother (in spite of her mental illness) since my stepson was only 10 months old at the time of divorce. My husband had a stack of papers an 1 inch and half thick of doctors saying she was nuts. I guess she had a better lawyer!!! My husband worked at the time and she didn't so they thought my husband would have my stepson at babysitters during his time of work. The ex wife is an amazing actress! Before I really knew her, I met her and we seemed to get along. Only 2 days later did I hear her through the phone telling my husband that I was every name in the book. I haven't talked to her since! I felt like a dummy for "falling for it". Her niceness, I mean. The court, obviously fell for it too.

Now, what has happened recently since school has been out is that my stepson stayed at his mothers house for almost a month straight. He came back more messed up than ever. He loves his mother and us and I know he would love to live with us, but his mother has threatened suicide every time he brings it up, that he is scared. He doesn't want to be the one to "kill" his mother! So, we don't push the issue. We would love to have him. But in his eyes.....what is the difference, he is usually here more often anyway. I think he also thinks that she is the cool mom. He doesn't have a bed time over there....even when school is in. She runs him all over the place at all hours of the night.....grocery stores, movies...etc. She doesnt make him go to school, but will then reward him by taking him to batting cages. He doesn't understand that these things are going to affect him.

Elmhar- The mother is in treatment for her issues and on medications. She seems to run hot and cold. One minute she is very nice and sweet and then another minute....look out!

My stepson has been to see the gastro doctor. They just say laxatives. They also put my stepson in to see a psychiatrist and after one day they told him to take Prozac!!! I put my foot down on that one. No way! He doesn't need that. It's funny that he starts to get everything working fine here.....goes back to his mothers house and comes back a mess. How do you tell a child that his mother that he loves, is making him sick! His mother tells him he is sick.....he is just like her......mentally ill!!! She wants him sick! I can't figure it out. He starts to believe her crap, until we deprogram him when he comes back! We tell him you are healthy, strong, smart and talented! This kid is amazing when he puts his mind to something, I haven't seen anything like it in my life. He plays the drums like an adult, he plays pool like an adult, baseball, dirtbiking, singing. Anything he does, he is good at!!! Even school with his 55 day missing butt! So, to mess this all up and put him on Prozac....No way! I wouldn't chance it, because I know inside him he can make himself better being around the right people.

Ok, those teachers are just wrong about him failing. I missed out on most of my sophmore year of high school due to sever upper ibs (voimting) and dumping or really bad diaherra. I left with honors, a 3.8 gpa, and moved to nc. I went through the first half of first semester on carafhet, reglin, and nexium, but then my symptoms returned due to stress. I stopped going to school and made up the work at home then dropped out second semester and completed my junior year online and will start at a regular high school for senior year in three weeks with a 4.0 gpa. So as long as your stepson works hard at his studies he should be fine!:)

To ease my pain I see two gastroenteralogist, a therapist, I have monthly dr.'s appointments, and will start bio-fedback as soon as our insurance goes through. I think that a therapist may help give him some ways to ease his stress, my does.

I hope that this is helpful and please update us with how he is doing.

Sincerely,

acutee2

Hey, it's me again.

Tell him not to stress about school, if he gets sick there, it just a place for education.If it gets tough fight to stay wiht only of those missed hours consider homeschool and ask around for advice.

To ease the attack go to a toy shop or something that he enjoys to help him not worry about things.

And if that doesn't work enroll him in something he wnat to try or enjoys that he can do when he lives wiht you. Maybe music lessons or kick boxing. This helped me. Then, over time, add in errons before or after to ease him into social situations. Since he he is going to or was at something that he liked he should be less stressed so he is less likely to have an attack. This also worked for me I now enjoy going out wiht far less attacks that aren't always too painful.

I hope that this advice is helpful.

Best wishes :) ,

acutee2

wow i feel for the kid i havent been diagnosed with IBS yeat but my NP is sending me to a gastrologist before she makes a finale dicesion. i only have 84 days left of school and im still stressin out. one medicine that seemed to help me a little is i think it is dicyclomine which controls the muscles, It relieves muscle spasms in the gastrointestinal tract by blocking the activity of a certain natural substance in the body. it seemed to help a little and u can take four a day as needed if ur doctor prescribes that too him tel him to take one an hour before school. also i felt that having a bottle of water to drink in first period helped out tremendously. well the best of luck to ya.