my names jason, I feel sad most of the time. I have a Mom and a Sister who love me, I have a good job, and a pretty good house. so ya I have a pretty good life exept for a couple things. my dad is on some realy bad drugs, I have no freinds, I'm alone most of the time, and I live in the WORST TOWN EVER. and being gay doesnt help either.

I feel depressed all the time, I hide it when i'm with my family but it gets hard sometimes. I feel like i'm worthless and feel like i will never get anywhere in life. I am always thinking about killing myself, but I know if I do it would totaly mess up my family.

I dont know what to do, should i tell my mom? should i go to the doctor? I feel like i'm being ripped appart :dizzy: What should i do?

sorry, i forgot to put this and i dont know to edit.

I feel like its my fault wenever something bad happens, sometimes I feel like I dont deserve to be happy or have nice things, and not verry often but sometimes I totaly loose my temper. I yell and scream and break things, its realy scarry.

and thanks for any advice you guys give me

hello. well i definately think you should get help from someone somewhere. can you talk with your mom and sister? tell them. tell them how you are feeling. if you can't talk with them then is there someone at your job or school counselor you feel comfortable with to tell? even a church has people you can talk to. that is where i'm getting counseling. also a doctor would be a good idea since you have an anger problem and they may perscribe an antidepressant. if nothing else call a hotline number and tell them you think of ending life all the time and ask them for help.

PLEASE find someone you can trust. don't do anything to hurt yourself. you are so young and have so much to live for. i hope this was some help. :angel:

Hey Jason:wave: You should contact your school counselor. They will know where to go from there. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Tell your mom, she loves you and she wouldn't want you hurting like you are. You mentioned your dad is on drugs. Some depression and mental illness is genetic. Maybe that is why your dad turned to drugs himself. Don't let this happen to you. You can try to change the course of your life.
keep us posted sweetie:angel:

I would go to the school couselor, but school is out right now. and last time i went to talk to them about something he told me that he isnt that kind of councelar than told me to go back to class.

that made me feel even worse

I will try to tell mom but its realy hard. it seems like its harder to tell her I'm depressed than telling her i'm gay.

I just feel so weird, like mad and sad and a bit jelous. but their is nothing to be jelus of :dizzy:

Hi Jason,
You are right, school is out. Duh...I don't know what I was thinking. Okay..did you talk to your mom? :confused: Tell me about your day? What do you do with yourself?

No i havnt told mom yet. I try but nothing comes out :confused: .

Today I did what I always do when i'm not working. I sit at home all alone and either watch tv or come on the computer :yawn: . Their isnt realy anything else to do here. I could go to the beach but it takes an hour to walk their and an hour to walk back, after an hour of walking i'm too tired to swim anyways.

Hi:wave:
Can you write your mom a letter? That might work. That way you don't have to look her in the eye or even open your mouth.;)
Ya know what I am really jealous of you. You live near a BEACH? ohmyGod! I would love to live near a beach. Do you have a dog? If you do that would be a great way to spend the day, take the dog with you and head to the beach. :blob_fire !
Okay...back to you now..sorry...the beach really sounded good to me. Anywhooooo...try the letter to mom. Tell her exactly how you feel. She may not realize it, I am a mom myself and we are so busy with all the household duties and work, sometimes we don't see what is right infront of us. Now get going on writing that letter. Put it on her pillow. She'll read it, trust me.:)

ya thats a good idea, exept i'm going to email it, that way i cant chicken out and take it back before she sees it.

I just dont know what to say, I have never been good at writing. If you can will you help me figure out what to say and how to say it? thanks

Sometimes starting is the hardest part when writing a letter like that. I usually start by writing something like, "I'm writing this letter to you rather than talking to you in person because . . . (it's easier to write than talk face-to-face, etc.)", and once I get that out of the way, the rest begins to flow. Allow yourself the freedom to write whatever you feel, and then you can edit it and delete anything you don't want to include. Sometimes just the act of writing about your feelings will help to clarify things.

Good luck, and hang in there. You are most certainly not alone!

Hey Jason,
I agree with La in Fla. Great way to begin. Now get busy....be STRONG!

I saw a comercial today about bipolar disorder. i looked it up on ****pedia and I have like all of the stuff that it mentions, so now i think i have bipolar and i dont know what to do about it.

I havnt sent my mom the letter yet, and i dunno if i should anymore

Hi Jason :wave:
hows come you changed your mind about the letter? That was a great way to get her attention and not have to approach it face to face. You need to go to a professional to get a diagnosis. Keep me posted......:D

I dont know, it just feels weird. I try but i cant. Its just so hard