I have a 5 1/2 week old baby who we are having great trouble getting to sleep at night. For the first few weeks one of us would rock her to sleep and not put her in her co-sleeper until she was asleep and she seemed to do well this way. But from everything I've read, it's best to put baby down when she is drowsy so she can learn to fall asleep on her own. For the last 3-4 nights we have tried this approach. We have even tried different bed times ranging from 8:30- 11:00. We started getting her in a routine of sorts, bathing with the lights dim in the house, feeding her and holding her for a few minutes until she is sleepy and then laying her down. However, even if she drifts off for a few minutes, she wakes up screaming and crying like she is scared. She cried last night for what seemed like an eternity and after a long time I finally picked her up as her crying was making her hoarse. The good thing is when we do finally get her to sleep which involves rocking her to sleep and then putting her down or put her in her swing to fall asleep, she has started sleeping 5 hour stretches. The last 2 nights we moved her co-sleeper in to her own room, do you think this may have something to do with it? she is used to being in our room. I have just read so many approaches and wondered if anyone has encountered a similar issue and what maybe worked for you? Maybe we are just trying the crying it out method too early or it may not work for her, she has a very strong personality :). We even had her at the doctor and we are trying a new formula since she seemed to be gassy but I don't think her night time screaming is gas. Thanks to anyone who has advice.

i think each baby is different my ds was in his cot in his room at 8 weeks and was sleeping through till 5 am i think i was just lucky he has always slept well however it is only in the last month really that i put him to bed drowsy before that i always rocked him in my arms to sleep so he felt secure to drop off. now his bedtime varies from night to night usually between 8pm and 1030pm depending on his cues. i do not use cio but then i don't need to he sleeps when he is tired through till 7am now but he is almost 5 months.

the first 3 weeks he went up to bed with us in his moses basket next to me, then from week4 he went in his basket in my room before me when he appeared had dropped off in my arms. from when he went in his room he slept through because i was not jumping up every time he breathed with a sigh to check him which was waking him up. he is in the room next door so any cry would wake me immediately as i sleep with one ear open for him. i would not stress too much he is still a newborn at 5 weeks and is just getting used to this crazy old world. he will make his own routine soon enough. oh and i always always go to my baby when he cries in his cot usually he only needs me to shush him or pop his dummy in his mouth or change a nappy then he goes straight back to sleep. he has never ever woke up screaming. if he does stir i do what is necessary to settle him which he does very quickly and i never need to pick him up to settle him. i wonder if it is because i respond to him if he does a little cry that he feels secure enough to sleep knowing i have not left him completely.

As Weepy said, every baby is different, but we also had somewhat of a difficult time getting ds to sleep on his own when he was very young and I think part of it was because he was so little and was used to being warm inside of me. We found that putting him in his bouncer because it kind of cradled him in and he felt secure in it. He outgrew that quickly though. Do you swaddle her or use a pacifier because those can both really help too. Also I kind of worked backwards with putting him down when he was drowsy. At first I would put him down right before he would nod off and then the next few days I would try and put him down sooner and sooner as he got drowsy. I also don't let ds cio. If he does cry I pick him up and comfort him and then put him right back down. That's usually good enough for him to go back to sleep.

I have a 5 1/2 week old baby who we are having great trouble getting to sleep at night.

That's TOTALLY normal!! Remember, your baby slept with you, ate with you, listened to you, an rode with you for 40 weeks. She has only been on the oustside for 5 short weeks. It can take some babies just as much time on the outside, as they were on the inside, to get used to being "alone". Your baby is just now starting to learn that you and she are two separate people. Until now she has thought you should always belong together.

But from everything I've read, it's best to put baby down when she is drowsy so she can learn to fall asleep on her own.

This is common among people who follow Dr. Ezzo and Dr. Ferber. Personally, I do not subscribe to this theory for the reasons I stated above. I believe that the first two months are basically the 4th trimester, and that physical closeness is important to very young infants. For some this means rocking to sleep, nursing to sleep, cuddling to sleep, or in my case, actually sleeping together. It's normal, and completely natural. ALL lactating mammals sleep with their young until they are weaned. It is a biological an physiological normality. Follow your instincts on this one. If you feel your baby does better and is happier being nursed/cuddled/rocked to sleep, then DO it, and forget what "they" say.

We started getting her in a routine of sorts

Routines are not very reliable until about 3-4 months of age. Until then you'll think you've got it down to a science, and then baby will change her mind. Go with the flow, follow your baby's lead, and soon enough she'll set her own schedule. It's much less stressful this way then over analyzing why she isn't sleeping.

However, even if she drifts off for a few minutes, she wakes up screaming and crying like she is scared.

She probably is. Remember, you have been right there for her for 40 weeks. She's still adjusting to being a separate being, and part of that is being startled and disorientated upon waking. It's normal. Just be there for her as soon as you can to comfort and sooth her.

She cried last night for what seemed like an eternity and after a long time I finally picked her up as her crying was making her hoarse.

I do not believe in CIO, and I'm sorry you tried this. At 5 weeks old your baby is crying for a reason. It is her only form of communication. Answering her cries as soon as you can validates them, and promotes a trusting relationship. She will learn to trust that she can count on you to help her when she needs it. CIO in older babies is up for debate, and it may have its time and place, but 5 weeks, in my opinion, is way to soon to start this. She is crying for a reason at this age.

The last 2 nights we moved her co-sleeper in to her own room, do you think this may have something to do with it?

Possibly. She is used to falling asleep to the sound of your heart beat and placenta. If you feel you must put her in her own room so early, you could try a white noise machine. It might remind her of some familiar sounds and help her feel not so alone.

I have just read so many approaches

The BEST advice I got was to ignore what everyone says. That goes for the pediatrician, your mother, people on the net, everyone, and just follow your heart and instinct. Women have been raising babies since the dawn of man without the help of books or male doctors who have never raised children. Do what works for you, and do what YOU are comfortable with, and ignore everything else. Just remember, your daughter won't be sleeping with you, breastfeeding, or wearing diapers in college. She will outgrow all of it when SHE is ready. Parenthood is not a race. Relax, and enjoy the ride. There will come a day when your baby doesn't want to be rocked to sleep, so enjoy it now!

I actually just moved my daughter's crib INTO our room today. She is too big for her bassinet, so now our bed and her crib are pushed together. I see nothing wrong with this arrangement. She's a baby, and she needs her mama.

Good luck!

I wish I could help, but I've had the same problem. My now 3 month old infant stopped sleeping (much) at 2 weeks. She did have reflux, but that has been solved with medicine and she still hates naps and doesn't sleep. She's very hyper, actually. I hope for your sake that you don't have the same problem!!!! My only hope is for when she can finally walk...I'll take her outside and make her run her butt off. LOL...

Does your baby sleep in the same room as you? If so, move her out. My daughter didn't want to be in our room anymore after a month or so.
If she's out, try to move her in there with you. Also, in the beginning,
we'd have her sleep in the bassinet out in the family room with us and then we'd roll her into our room when we went to bed. Then a few weeks later, she decided she didn't like the bassinet anymore and we had to use the car seat. 3 months later, we're now laying her flat in the crib, but she still doesn't sleep. LOL. Sorry. I'm no help.

Oh, try a pacifier if you haven't, yet. I was all against them until I found it really calmed her down.

i get ds to sleep by rocking him or nursing him. at night, if i am going to bed at the same time as him i put him to bed with me. this way he stays asleep cause i can just pat him on the back if/when he starts stirring. if im not going to bed yet then i get him to sleep and lay him on the couch so i can be right there to sooth him to sleep before he gets good and awake again if he does start stirring. (by the way, my ds is 6 weeks old)

i believe in CIO, but NOT at 5 weeks. at this young age you should respond to your babys cries asap. this will build her confidence in her ability to communicate her needs/wants, and reassure her that you love her and will meet her needs. however, i have a very fussy baby that cries at the drop of a hat, so i have started trying to sometimes let him "fuss it out" as i call it, but when the fussing turns to crying i pick him up immediately. usually i'll do this when he's been changed, fed, cuddled, and is not sleepy and then i'll put him in the swing and if he starts fussing i'll wait and see if he just stops after a min on his own, or if he progresses to crying. i never do this at bedtime though, because i want him to sleep!

you may consider letting your baby sleep with you until she starts sleeping through the night. after that you can always transfer her to her crib in her own room, but for now it may be easier for everyone to co sleep. i plan on moving ds to his own room when he starts sleeping through. i only plan on comforting him for the first week while he gets used to his crib, then will try CIO, but i don't plan on this until he's probably at least 6 months. by that time he will be plenty confident in his ability to communicate his needs, and he'll be secure in the fact he is loved and his needs will be met.

however, if CIO is the way you definately want to go at this point, thats up to you, it's your baby. im sure she'll turn out fine if you are responding to her needs/wants in a timely manner the rest of the time. my MIL and my mother both say i should let ds CIO, that they did this with me and DH at such a young age, and we both turned out fine. its just not for me and my baby.

I was up at all hours with DD until she was about 3 months old. I think the longest stretches she slept in the middle of the night was 4-5 hours...which mostly occurred after 12:30-1:00am. I also tried the low lighting, quiet times, and bedtime routines at decent, normal bedtime hours. DD was just too new to understand any of that. There was no real sense of a normal or decent hour for bedtime fo me or DD in the first 3 months of life. I think your description of her not really having a bedtime & not sleeping consistently sounds pretty normal to me. That's probably not what you wanted to hear...but that's just how it was with me too. Things will change & evolve as your baby gets older.

2 months old is when I moved DD from bassinett in our bedroom to crib in her own room. Still up at all hours, but DH and I slept a lot better in the hours we did sleep. I think DD did too. We weren't aware of every single little noise & waking each other up. Yes, it was a PITA for me to get out of bed all the time to comfort and breastfeed DD...but DH and I didn't want to have anything to do with co-sleeping.

At about 3 months, her sleep continued to get better and her "bedtime" was more like 9-10pm. Bedtime routines started being somewhat effective around this time too.

At 4 months bedtime was 8pm consistently, and that's when I started CIO.

I used CIO very successfully & a firm believer in it...but didn't start until DD was 4 months old. I personally feel 5.5 weeks is too young for CIO. I think babies that small really can't comprehend/understand/interpret what you are trying to teach them. They just want to be safe, secure, and comforted...and the baby doesn't want or need anything but Mom holding her at that point.

As for putting baby to bed sleeping versus awake...I would go with putting to bed while asleep at 5.5 weeks. I did that up until 4 months old. I don't think that had any effect on her sleeping habits when I started CIO and started putting DD in her crib drowsy.

Sounds like you are tired yourself and are looking for some relief. I can tell you that it does get better. It's very hard having a new baby. People could talk to me all day about how hard it was being a new mom & the sleep deprivation. I never truly understood it until I had a baby of my own.

cookie, I think that 5.5 weeks is way too early to start CIO, if that's what you decide to do. Whatever feels right for the two of you right now is what you should be doing. She's way too young right for you to try to teach her to fall asleep on her own. She needs to feel secure. The first three months are the toughest and you'll find that it gets better and better. If something doesn't feel right to you don't do it just because a doctor wrote a book about it and said you should!! Good luck!

I really appreciate all your responses. CIO didn't seem right to me but as a new mom I hear so many things and I think I read way too much, ha ha. I now agree that CIO at 5.5 weeks is too early. Last night she did really well. I moved the co-sleeper back into our room and had her right there next to me all night. My husband rocked her to sleep and she slept for hours. Mind you it was 11:30pm but that is when we finally got to bed and it worked for us. she slept 3 hour stretches and seemed so comforted and didn't cry at all because I was right there to rub her head and let her know I was there. I will try CIO later on in a few months if it feels right then but I feel comfortable that at this time this is the right thing for our baby. It really helps to hear from all of you who have been through it. Thanks so much to all of you!

Mind you it was 11:30pm but that is when we finally got to bed and it worked for us.

Uhg, I feel your pain. My own daughter started off with a late bed time too. She would go to sleep at 11. It sucked. She now goes to bed at 8-9, so it does get better!

When dd was born she slept in her room right from the beginning, (right next to our room, with a baby monitor of course.) She slept through the night from the beginning as well. I know what worked for her may not work for you and your baby but this is what I did. During my entire pregnancy at bed time we listened to Enya, every night we fell asleep to it, still do. Anyways when dd was born she got her own cd of it and was played every night at bedtime, I also in the very beginning would take off my shirt and place it beside her in her bassinette. It really really worked for her. Babies reconize their mothers scent really early on. Mind you there were some nights that I was up through out the night with her, and occaisionally she did sleep with us. For the most part though she slept on her own, and still does. She is 7 months now, and from about 4 months on, we can put her in her crib while she is awake and play her Enya cd and she will fall asleep on her own with no fussing. Although we went through a stage last month when she was with us alot, but she was also teething. Good luck, and do what ever works for you.

I do what jbaby does----I don't use CIO as DS is only a month old right now, but I do let him "fuss it out" as he tends to be somewhat fussy. He only fusses for about 5 minutes of less and then usually stops. But when the fuss turns to crying, I do pick him up and tend to his needs. :)

DH and I were having a hard time putting DS to sleep starting at week 3 and he'd keep us up all night which we all know can be super crazy. We finally figured he was super gassy along with being fussy----and he was also trying to tell us he was STILL hungry after we had just fed him---all this combined made him restless---his screaming became so bad no matter what we did---his voice would become hoarse. We quickly switched from using Avent bottles to Dr. Brown's bottles recently and walaaaa---pure bliss!!! He still gets gas, but gives us a couple of big burps and passes out between 11 and 12 in the evening. :) DH and I don't mind putting him down to sleep so late as he seems to be very hungry right before bedtime----once we put him down at around this time---he's been sleeping anywhere from 6-8 hours at night without waking up in a fuss. He also doesn't like sleeping in his cradle anymore with us in our room----he now prefers his crib in his own room. Also, when your baby wakes up after dozing off, check and see if she's hungry---DS was doing that. He'll eat 4 oz after a good 3 hour nap and right after he finishes, burps and dozes off for about 20 minutes and then he'll wake up crying again----and well---it turns out he's hungry AGAIN. :) Little monster! :) So, her fussiness and restlessness might be hunger with a combination of some gas---I dunno. We prepare his normal 4 oz bottles and also prepare additional 2 ounce bottles for any supplemental feedings after he's finished his normal 4 oz--that way we don't bust out a 4 ounce bottle to then find out the he only wanted one more ounce to finally get him to sleep. :)

So all in all---along with wanting to be held, cuddled etc... she might be wanting more food---just one more ounce after a little dozing off might do the trick. :) Also, he hates sleeping on his back or on his side and now prefers to sleep on his belly. This also, we found out, helps with his gas issues. We told our pediatrician about him sleeping on his belly and she said it was OK. ALL babies are different. Some like swaddling etc... he inturn hates it and likes to stretch his little body out---so cute! He also has no issues with flipping his head from the right side to the left side when he's sleeping---maybe he's just developing fast?! If he's comfortable and happy, we're happy. :)

Just as a side note, my DS is up to eating approx 24 ounces a day.

:wave:

The biggest problems with newborns sleeping (not the only problem, but in my opinion the biggest) is having an infant sleep flat on his or her back. I learned that after having two in the tummy sleeping era and adopting one long after back to sleep. We have also fostered many newborns and back and we almost always notice a difference when we change the position or place the baby sleeps. If the swing works, why not continue? The carseat placed right in the crib, or even on the floor next to your bed if you want, also works well and could be another option for you. If you are comfortable with it having your baby sleep on his tummy works very well. Propping the baby on his side or swaddling and sleeping on the back or side tends to work well with many babies as well.

Personally I agree with a PP who said that having the baby learn to fall asleep on his own at an early age is totally unnecessary. Every baby, no matter what you do or don't do, eventually learns to put him or herself to sleep on his/her own. Go with your gut and follow your baby's lead.

Nancy