My dad had open heart surgery last week and was just sent home last Sunday. Because of all the pain pills and other meds he's on hes been eating very little. Usually just 2 sandwhiches, some fruit and other small random things during the day. Even though I still restrict most days theres some days when I try to eat "normal" but thats been tought to do since hes been home because its very triggering to see my dad eating less then me. I feel so embarrassed (sp) that Im actually eating more then a grown man. I feel like I have to "compete" and eat less then him (which is what I do most days) I understand that hes only eating this way because hes sick but it really bothers me. Any ideas on getting over this idea of thinking?

Last year (before my anorexia caused me to have my hair start falling out) my dad had phenomia and he ate nothing but broth and preztels so I ate nothing but broth, then... nothing. What I did was binge on meat sticks, pickles, and ice cram and then purge, and it made me go back to purging and eating normal amounts.

So obviously what I did wasn't smart and wasn't healthy. Maybe you want to take it slow, that's what I'm trying to do now. Try eating a whole grain cereal for breakfast, carrots and cerely and a sandwich for lunch, and maybe a grilled half a breast of chicken with steamed veggies for dinner. I mean I know that it doesn't seem like much but its a start to eat normally.

Oh, I also have my mom making a check list of if I ate three meals, and if I do I get something that I picked out of what I bought while I was shopping. I like it, I get a purse or a pair of shoes. It helps movate me to get better. Don't get me wrong everyday is hard, just going to sleeping and getting out of bed is hard. It takes all of me and all of my energy to do my school work and go to my dance classes.

Please update me and tell me how your doing and what you deside to do.

Good Luck,

acutee2