Im not trying to say that anyone is doing anything wrong, or judge anyone, just want to let you know this, but I would also like to share my opinion on a few things!:wave:

I see some people on here say they know people/do it themselves-potty training infants (or the "ec") Honestly, I dont feel a baby/child should be potty trained until they can walk and tell you they have to go! my son is 10 months and can walk but still i dont wanna go that far yet, im thinking of waiting until he is about 2 years old:)

Another thing, people with the babies saying they want them to sleep all night, or sit up, or hold their own bottle and so forth. alot of babies do not sleep through the night for a long time, i got so used to it, i think i wake up more then my son does at night! pretty much what i wanna say is, little ones are all different and will do everything at thier own pace, why rush them, after the first year your gonna wanna know where you baby went while he/she is running around like a maniac through your home!!:D

Hi Juniorsmom, I agree with you 100%. I am going to allow my babies to be "babies" as long as they want to be, or need to be. They grow up so fast and I always hear mom's saying, "oh I wish I had held them a little more, I wish I had enjoyed them a little more, I wish I'd spent more time with them"....well I am not going to be sitting around with all those shoulda coulda wouldas when I am older. I am a stay at home mom and I never leave my kids with anyone, just don't feel the need to. We have lots of fun together. My stepson says I'm the best mom AND stepmom in the world and when he says that, I feel like I am. I have him (10.5), my oldest will be 5 next month and my baby is 9 months old and we are super close and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are fortunate enough that dh has a good job and allows me to stay home, that is so important to me. I remember growing up my parents would host huge biker parties at our house and me and my sister would be way off in the woods somewhere on our 56 acre farm and they would have no clue where we were and never looked. They were the absent type of parents and I refuse to put my babies through that. I was raped at 13 and my parents didn't have a clue until I told them at 24! I had marks and my demeaner changed conciderably. Did they ever sit me down and say, "Is there something wrong hun?" Nope. I have had lots of therapy, so it's all good now. I am cool with life and a very happy person. I hope I didn't scare you going all deep on you like that. :eek: Sorry, just had to point out the reasoning behind my beliefs, not that you need to justify being an attentive parent though. I am what you call a helicopter mom, always hovering. LOL!! And I will be until my guys tell me they need their space, then I'll hover a little further away. ;) Having one special needs child smacked me upside the head and made me realize how fragile and precious life is. I sooo don't care about what "experts" think I should be doing with my kids, I go with my insticts on a lot of things. The ped said something about letting my infant cry it out and getting him in his own bed and I did everything except tell him to Bite Me. I am not for that stuff, I LOVE co sleeping. Of course I trust the drs medical opinions, but when it comes to some things I trust my mommy insticts more. I am trying so hard to not sweat the small stuff. It's so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of parenting and comparing when they do this and that. I've done it so many times myself. They do everything when they get good and ready. About the whole potty training thing, there is a big downside to that. Children who are potty trained too early have more problems later down the road. My stepson was potty trained before 2 and not only does he have the occassional wetting accident, but he also has encopresis, a very dreadful condition in which waste becomes so impacted in the bowel that they strech out and the child loses control. (lot's of poop accidents) There's a lot more to it then that, but that is a basic description. The specialist told us that they see this condition much more in children who are potty trained early. ??? My 5 year old wasn't potty trained until he was 3, not because we didn't want him to be, but autism is a major roadblock in potty training. We tried a lot, but once HE decided he wanted to go in the potty and be clean, HE potty trained himself. (with lots of help and support of course) My sister potty trained her son, same age as my oldest, before he was 2 also and has always rubbed that in my face, but they were here for a visit this week and her son peed all over himself and just kept on playing like nothing hd happened. If my nephew hadn't been standing there I would've said BOOYAH! But I would never hurt his feelings, he couldn't help it. My lil guy hasn't had an accident in long time. He goes to the potty, poops, wipes, flushes and washes his hands like a champ now, he's so sweet. Anyways, sorry I wrote you a novel reply here, but I too am passionate about this and wanted to share that with you, as I see we have similar feelings about it. Take care of yourself and CONGRATS on your new pregnancy, I haven't had the chance before to say that, but have been following your threads. :wave:

P.S. I am also not trying to be rude. I was addressing the original poster only and not trying to say that any belief different that my own is wrong, just conveying my feelings to her. I think all of us moms sicerely do the best we can for our children and I applaud you all for being great moms. :angel:

Junior's Mommy- I just want to hug you! Thank you for saying just what I've been thinking for weeks now. I use to come on this forum for plain old advice and support, but lately I feel as though certain members just push it too far. Just let our babies be babies for cryin' out loud! I'm hesitant to respond or start new threads because I just don't want it to become this HUGE issue that it wasn't meant in the first place. Well said Ausome mom2 as well.:)

Ausom- you made me realize I need to relax with my little one. He is my first child and will be five month on tuesday and I'm so worried bc he has not rolled over yet. I keep comparing him to my niece and cousin baby who are very close in my ds age. Thank you for that eye opening ************, I need it! I just need to relax!

Btw, the whole potty training thing before 2..yeah, I couldn't agree more. The are only little once. Everyday I get alittle sad bc my lovely ds is growing up so fast. It's funny bc I just had this conversation with a stranger today at walmart LOL.:)

i too am chuffed with the way i raise my son he is a very loved and very smiley baby. i am pleased he develops just fine and have been so lucky that he has always slept fine and not been a big cryer. he fills my life with joy and i am raising him to be a very social and happy person he loves people and smiling. we got his high chair today and he loved eating his dinner in it at the table with us it felt like a big family occassion. we also are getting him used to the water and go swimming as a family on saturday mornings. i can honestly say i don't care how anyone else raises their child i am truely only concerned about my own, although of course as i am sure as most mommys are we don't want to see any child neglected and abused. babies all develop at different rates. my moan is though i sometimes feel if you did not deliver vaginally and you did not bf then you are seen as a failure as a mommy and from someone who planned to do both but could not i have to say that is wrong. mommys should support each other not judge or critise one another being a mommy is hard enough without being made to feel you are not good enough when you put all your heart and soul into raising a happy child.

I just had to add to this...I told my dh just last night it seems EVERYONE has a baby that "sleeps through the night" and does everything else already. (My 1st dd is 3 1/2 months old) Big deal...he suggested I respond by saying MY baby poops diamonds and pees champagne. Yes, it's sarcastic and a bit rude, but since when is this a competition? It started during pregnancy. "Oh I played tennis until the day I delivered." Blah, blah, blah. Now, it continues. I'm a big believer in reading the baby's cues and adjusting (within reason) to those signals. I always tell myself, did I know anyone in high school that:
a) used a pacifier
b) wore diapers
c) still slept in the same bed as their parents
d) carried a blankie
Um, no so I guess it all works out in the end no matter what you do. There, I vented.:jester:

I'm so happy to see that others feel this way. I found myself feeling really awful after I posted on here one day. Some of the responses were just plain mean. I was so upset i called my DS pediatrician to see if what i was doing was really "harmful" to my child or "mean". All i wanted was advice- not someone telling me what i was "trying" was making me a bad mom.I'm a first time mom- I DON"T know everything- if i did i wouldn't be here!!

I've decided to relax and to not worry that i don't have a bionic baby. He's just fine being little, round, and fat.

Thanks girls!!
barbicus

Hmm... well, I guess I'm "one of those people". I don't believe in a lot of mainstream parenting ideas. I believe in extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, natural family living. I'm against CIO, the use of formula (unless when medically necessary), letting baby's watch TV, starting solids at 4 months, etc etc.

What I have noticed, however, is that the guilt factor on this board is huge. When I chime in with my 2 cents it doesn't mean, should not mean, is not meant, for others to feel as though they're bad mothers for doing differently. It's what I believe, it's what works for me, it's what my research has led me to, so that's what I share with everyone here.

Many many times in the past few weeks there have been people *thinking* that there are subtle insinuations that lead them to think others, mostly me, think they're bad mothers for not doing x, y, z. What? Who cares if you don't do attachment parenting? But when someone comes on and says their baby doesn't want to be put down without screaming, as an AP mom I naturally suggest getting a sling and carrying baby everywhere you go. Does that mean those moms who don't use a sling are bad? NO!

I don't feel that this board or the members cater to minorities, which in the parenting community I feel I am. There are limitted resources for the "things" that I do and believe in, let alone having a platform to share them, like this forum. I just think that if everyone is comfortable in their choices and decisions that this thread wouldn't exist. You don't do EC, fine. I do. You want to start solids at 4 months old, fine. I won't. End of story. At the end of the day you can take all the opinions you got from this board and either use them, or discard them. I find it tiring to walk on eggshells for fear I might offend someone by suggesting what only comes naturally to me.

Anyway, I apologize if my opinions or suggestions are hurtful or offensive. That is NEVER my intention.

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