bling
07-31-2006, 02:13 PM
hi all,
ive been struggling with ed for many years now. im getting so tired of it and am really hitting rock bottom. all i think about all day long is food, what i can eat, what i cant eat, how much ive eaten, how im going to not eat the next day! it consumes everything i do and im so exhausted. i watch people eat and am so jealous that they can just sit and eat like its nothing. they have no idea what a constant battle those with eds have to have a simple meal. im in the restriting phase of ed right now.. i dont eat all day and come home and eat a dry salad with a little mozz cheese, a handful of nuts and maybe a tablespoon of hummus. on my "bad days", ill have a litlte ice cream as well. all i eat is salad, cheese and low carb tortillas. i do eat healthy veggies too. it may sound like normal diet to some but i consider that binging and end up feeling awful after ive eaten them. i have so many other quirky behaviors too..constantly counting calories..wearing tight belts so i feel full and remind myslef to not eat..making sure my clothes fit just as they did the day before, excercising to justify eating. its crazy and im just exhausted of thinking of food and ed all the time. does this happen to anyone else... i have so much more to say, but ive tried writing this three times now and my messages havent been posting..thinking they are too long. i just want to talk to those who understand. thanks..
ive been struggling with ed for many years now. im getting so tired of it and am really hitting rock bottom. all i think about all day long is food, what i can eat, what i cant eat, how much ive eaten, how im going to not eat the next day! it consumes everything i do and im so exhausted. i watch people eat and am so jealous that they can just sit and eat like its nothing. they have no idea what a constant battle those with eds have to have a simple meal. im in the restriting phase of ed right now.. i dont eat all day and come home and eat a dry salad with a little mozz cheese, a handful of nuts and maybe a tablespoon of hummus. on my "bad days", ill have a litlte ice cream as well. all i eat is salad, cheese and low carb tortillas. i do eat healthy veggies too. it may sound like normal diet to some but i consider that binging and end up feeling awful after ive eaten them. i have so many other quirky behaviors too..constantly counting calories..wearing tight belts so i feel full and remind myslef to not eat..making sure my clothes fit just as they did the day before, excercising to justify eating. its crazy and im just exhausted of thinking of food and ed all the time. does this happen to anyone else... i have so much more to say, but ive tried writing this three times now and my messages havent been posting..thinking they are too long. i just want to talk to those who understand. thanks..