Hi all

I am so confused- I know my Mom was suffering at the end and the nurses said her passing was peaceful.

I know after she in a nursing home for 31/2 years - I should realize this was a blessing but I still want her back.

I saw her 4 hours before she died and very clearly said in her ear- "Go Be With Dad- Let Go"
Along with telling her how much we loved her.

They say hearing goes last- I hope she heard me.


I'm at peace but still so sad.


Anyone go through something similiar?

Thanks.:angel:

Hi,

I have not gone through anything similar yet as my mum is fighting cancer at the moment having been told it is terminal.

I just wanted to send my love to you as i can only imagine what you must be going through. The only consolation is that your mum went peaceful and did not suffer at the end.

Please take care of yourself and use these boards as it may help you to sound off.

Much love,
Emma,x

the night before my dad died from cancer he told me it wasn't that he didn't love me but he was tired and had lived a long, happy life. he said he missed his parents and brother and sisters that had gone before him. i gave him a kiss and told him it was alright and that i would see him in the morning. he turned his head and looked out the window. he passed very peacefully the next morning before any of us got there. that has helped me so much over the years knowing he was peaceful and ready. my prayers are with you.

The death of your Mother is never easy. I think it was the hardest thing I had to bear until my husband died this year. You will Miss your Mother for many years. She was your Mother, your confidant, your best friend growing up and the only Mother you ever get. My Mother died in April of 2002 and I still miss her and cry for her sometimes still. I wish she could have been her to help me get through the death of my husband.I think it might have not been so lonely if I had her to talk to. Do you have any siblings? My oldest sister has really been there for me through all my hard times. Sometimes your family is all you have to keep you going. I wish the best for you.

My Mom passed at the age of 65 in 1995 - my Dad at age 78 in 2004 - I still miss both of them very much. The intense pain fades, but you will always miss them - I didn't think at 40 I could feel like an orphan but I do at times....I know both of them are better off - they both had cancer, but I really do miss them.

My thoughts and prayers are with you- time does help

Noreen

:) Thank-you all for the kind words...

I have a sister who is very helpful and wonderful friends.

My sister lives out of state so it's very hard for her not being here to say words to our Mom.

But, I'm sure our mother already knows how we feel.


Thank-you again.

I lost my dad in 1995 62 and my mom in 1998 at age 65. I was there when my mom died New Years Day. She refused all meds the night before and there was no conversation with her. All she did was stair and point to the ceiling. I just layed there with her for hours. I knew time was near. I guess she was ready to go. The next day she was in excruciating pain so I had to give her the morphine. Shortly thereafter, when all family was present, she died in front of our eyes. It was an awful scene. I almost feel like I made her go sooner as I had to give her more morphine to kill the pain. It was too much and stoppled her heart. The nurse got the ok from the docter to give her more but I gave the injection. I too feel like an orphin.

She was my best friend and I miss her terrably. I miss my dad too but he left us when we were very small so I didn't know him very well.

Until we all meet again.............

Deb in CT

Losing someone you love is so hard. My husband just passed away on Sunday, and I know he was suffering terribly.

It's been an emotional roller coaster, but it all boils down to quality of life. Living more years just to suffer the whole time, isn't really living. It's existing at best.

I know this isn't going to be an easy road now...but, I hope some day to find comfort with the memories we shared.

I wish the very same for you.

Sandi

Hi Sandi
That's my name also.
Thank-you so much for the kind words and I'm so sorry about your husband.

My Mom's memorial service was today and it was beautiful.

But the only thing that keeps me at peace is knowing she was suffering terribly for the last few months and she was ready to let go.

When it gets to the point of just existing-then there is no quality of life.


Write again if you feel you need to.
Peace.....

Hi Sandi,

I'm trying hard to focus on those facts about not suffering anymore also. There isn't anything worse than watching someone you love struggle so hard. It's heartbreaking to say the least.

I still have moments of overwhelming sadness though...and would do anything for just a few more minutes. I don't know if we can ever be ready to say good bye to people we care about.

I'm sure there will be rough days yet ahead...but I hope that your memories will help the healing process, and that the days will get better as you go.

My thoughts are with you...it's certainly not an easy road by any means.

Sandi

Hi Sandi I am sorry that you have lost you dear mum, Its very hard , I lost my dear dad 7 years ago at the age of 61, And I lost my dear mum in feb of this year also age 61, I miss them so much . Snice my mum died I have been having so many health problems Ihave had pain every where in my stomach to the point I cry most days, I am having test next week a Endoscopy I am so scared, I already have a underactive thyroid hashi's it a Autoimmune where my body has gone against me. Please look after yourself
take care ...Mandy

My mother died in April of 2004. I never got the chance to say good bye to her. That was really hard on me. My brother and sister both were there when she passed and since I live an hour away called me afterwards. I still miss her today and pray that she was still here. It does get a little easier as time passes but there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. :angel:

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. My mother died this morning at the age of 85. She had a pretty serious heart/lung health crisis two years ago and managed to bounce back from that, except she was on oxygen 24/7 and was not happy with her quality of life. I think what finally allowed her to pass is the fact that her oldest child (my "big" sister!) is finally losing her 14 year battle with cancer. My sis is at home with Hospice and it's just a matter of weeks before she will be joining my Mom & Dad. I will pray for you- my Mom was my best friend and confidant and just all-around great and supportive Mom. God bless you. Sharon

Sharon,

I'm sorry that you are dealing with not only the loss of your mother...but the anticipated loss of your sister as well.

My husband passed away on the 6th, and he too suffered with respiratory problems. I think once a person is forced to live on oxygen 24/7 their quality of life starts declining fast. It's so hard to watch loved ones struggle with each breath.

My heart goes out to you as you begin the journey of your grieving and healing.

Sandi

Hi Sandi, Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. I will keep you in my prayers. My sister's husband called me yesterday afternoon and told me that she was concerned about how I was dealing with Mom's death. What a truly amazing person she is! All of this is going to be traumatic in the extreme for me and my remaining siblings, but thank God we all get along and will provide strong support for each other. God Bless You. Sharon

Sharon,

It really is a blessing that you, and your other siblings can support each other. I think that this type of support is the best...not only do you share a common past from growing up, but you have the same journey to get through in the healing process too.

Your sister is a remarkable person. Showing concern for other people when she's dealing with her own illness. God Bless her...and your family as well.

Sandi

Hi Catlady,i am so sorry.How old was your mom,if you do not mine me asking?? mine is 74 and not in good health. She is getting thinner each day.And she eats pretty well. I understand how you are feeling,and i send my sympathy. I am here sitting with you.

I lost both of my grandmothers of cancer within 6 months of each other about 5 years ago. It was very hard and I lived with one of them. I guess we prepared ourselves because we knew what was coming especially with the second one being diagnosed we really didnt have much hope just going through all of this. The first experience it seemed like she just got worse overnight and seemed to slip fast. Everyone said hearing was last to go and so we all whispered our worries to each other because we didnt want her to get upset even though she was in a coma like state. She did seem to hear some of our conversations and she made us realize that. People that came to visit always talked to her like she was sitting up and awake. They would come in and talk about what happened at work and how so and so is and everything. I know it is hard but....I really do believe that they can hear you. I know that I probably believe that because I want to believe it and it helps me cope with it. I have accepted that they are gone but sometimes something will happen and I would always call grandma to tell her about my day and I have to catch myself once in awhile and say what are you doing....she has been gone for years even though it seems like it has only been yesterday! I really feel for you and your family and I hope you cope with it. I know it will be rough but maybe she did go peacefully knowing that she was told it was okay and you guys would be fine. In the last 10 hours of my grandmas life I told her that she had fighted cancer long enough and that she was tired and she needed to rest and that I loved her. I felt better after that.......I FEEL FOR YOU!:angel: