I found out today that an ex-partner tested positive for herpes-2. I get tested tomorrow, and I guess the results don't come in for about a week. My first response: research like crazy. My second: tell my boyfriend I may have exposed him to this. So now what?

I keep telling myself the odds are in my favor (it's been 6 months since contact, the ex just now started showing symptoms, I've had no symptoms whatsoever). But the more I read, the more terrified I become that I'm just asymptomatic. I'll obviously be abstinent until/unless I find out I'm negative.

Other than that, what should I do? Is it better to focus on preparing myself for the worst? Or should I try not to worry until the results are in?

Also, what do I do to help my boyfriend deal with this? I feel tremendous guilt already for his potential exposure. I don't think he'll leave me over this judging by his reaction and what I know of him and our relationship. But the reality of this possibility surely hasn't sunk in for either of us, so who knows?

Please, please, someone tell me what to do . . . I'm going crazy already.

You can share with your bf what you're going through, and he can get tested too. Remember, 1 in 4 adults have genital herpes, yet 90% don't know it. Meaning there's a 25% chance you and/or him already have it.

Make sure you get the right test, an IgG type specific test. HerpeSelect, is the most common. Skip the older IgM test, those results are worthless. Get hard copies of the results so you can post them here if you have questions about the test or the results.

Thanks so much, over21, I'll make sure to tell my doctor I want the IgG (why do they keep using the IgM's if they're unreliable?). The more I read on this board, the less desperate I feel at the thought of a positive result. Not that I'm not freaking out--I am--I just found out about this today, after all. But I'm having an easier time putting things in perspective thanks to this board.

More than anything I'm feeling positively stupid & irresponsible for not getting regular checks. What if I gave it to the ex? (That's possible, right? That I could've given it to someone who now has outbreaks even though I haven't yet?) Worse, what if it ends my current relationship--the best one I've had in my life--either because I gave it to him or because he's scared of getting it down the line. Can't say I'd blame him, 1 in 4 or no.

I really just want my results YESTERDAY . . . the reality of my junior high sex ed class is crashing down on me. Can't help but be afraid that a common case of herpes could be the least of my problems. Sorry, I know I'm venting more than anything here. It's just hard right now.

One actual, respond-to-able question: If I do have it, does the fact that I haven't had outbreaks mean I'm less likely to have passed it on? Does it mean I'm less likely to have them in the future? Or is it just a matter of time?

Thanks for reading.

There's a lot of information that doctors need to stay current on, and it real hard to know every little thing... So as a result, many doctors are not up to speed about the latest in herpes testing. Some think the IgM test can determine if the infection is recent. It can not, there is not test to determine how long you've had the virus.

A woman once posted that she uses herpes as a dating filter. Meaning, if a partner can't accept this very common virus, then they probable won't be very good with more important issues. The one in four stat is very clear; every fourth person you see, touch, talk to, has the virus. If your classroom/office has 100 people in it, 25 will have the virus, yet only 2 will know it.

There are lots of studies out there on shedding of the virus; The general theme is this virus acts differently for everyone.

Just wanted to post an update: my results are in, and I'm negative for both types! A million thanks for the info.