I have not b/p-ed in almost 2 weeks. Things were really going good and I was finally feeling confident that maybe I could start being in control of my eating disorder. So I was cooking dinner for my family and I started tasting the food and before I knew it I had eaten 3 bowls of food, 2 apple fritters and 2 bags of cookies. I just could not handle it so I went and threw it up. Why? Why couldn't I just stop at one regular size bowl of food. I hate having an eating disorder. Sorry I just had to vent.

God Bless You:angel:
MANNO

Hey MANNO--

You said, "Things were really going good and I was finally feeling confident that maybe I could start being in control of my eating disorder. "

You went 2 weeks--you ARE getting back in control! 2 weeks is wonderful! Please try not to beat yourself up over one little slip-up. Today is a new day, and try to remember those great 2 weeks instead of last night.

Hey MANNO--

You said, "Things were really going good and I was finally feeling confident that maybe I could start being in control of my eating disorder. "

You went 2 weeks--you ARE getting back in control! 2 weeks is wonderful! Please try not to beat yourself up over one little slip-up. Today is a new day, and try to remember those great 2 weeks instead of last night.

Thank you sunshine18:D

You just made me feel so much better. You are right 2 weeks is a long time (for me) to not purge. I have a choice, I can either get all depressed and down on myself because I slipped up or I can accept this new day God has given me as a fresh start. I have decided to put it all behind me. I can't dwell on it because then my ed says "Well you have already messed up so you might as well just start again." I am not going to start b/p ing again. I just won't. Well I hope everyone is well and you all are in my prayers.

God Bless You:angel:
MANNO

Please try not to be mad at yourself, think of how many times you said NO and won over that two weeks...one slip back doesn't negate all that progress forward!

Please try not to be mad at yourself, think of how many times you said NO and won over that two weeks...one slip back doesn't negate all that progress forward!

Hi tallycat--
Tahnk you so much for your reply. I am not mad at myself anymore. Today I had a much better day and I didn't even think about purgeing last night. I have to move forward with this thing that is my only chance of getting better. I have invested to much time and money into my recovery to stop now. You are right about all the times I have said "NO". Even though I haven't been b/p-ing I still want to about a kabillion times a day.

Also I want everyone to know that even though I am new here I have been reading all of the posts for awhile. You all have kept me from b/p-ing so many times and are an essential part of my recovery. Thank you.:)

God Bless You:angel: