I probably shouldn't even write this, because I fear that it may scare those who are new to this virus, or uneducated about it, but I really don't have anyone to tell this all to, and I'm feeling pretty down about having herpes.

Before I start, I just want to say that my herpes experiences probably aren't typical; some people get one bad outbreak and then never get another one again. Unfortunately, that's not me. I am plagued every single day with unbearable tingling, itching, stinging, burning, or throbbing vaginal pain, during a bad outbreak. I guess I can be considered "lucky" in the sense that I don't get huge blisters, but blisters or not, it's still contagious, and it has still changed my entire view on sex. To me, it turned something so beautiful into something so incredibly ugly. My brother has these friends that are a couple that are madly in love with each other, and everytime I see them, they're making out or being affectionate. When I look at them, it seriously just brings tears to my eyes because I can still remember when I used to be able to have sex spontaneously, without thinking, "Am I having an outbreak or symptoms of an outbreak? What if this is the time that I give my boyfriend, who I love with all my heart, herpes?" Herpes completely robbed me of my sexual freedom. Ever since I contracted herpes, I haven't been able to enjoy sex in the least, as it's something that is always on my mind; the worry is always there. When I first was able to stop crying for 5 minutes after learning of my disease, I thought it wouldn't be so bad if I couldn't have sex while I was experiencing an outbreak, but I never thought it would be like this. I am ALWAYS having an outbreak. It's been I think 8 months since the primary OB, and I've had only a few symptom-free days. Sometimes I try to forget about having herpes and just move on with my life, but I can't when I feel the consant uncomfortable physical symptoms. Also, about once or twice a month I get a severe outbreak, and although most people don't get flu-like symptoms after the primary OB, I am almost incapacitated by the flu-like symptoms. I get a fever, I get severe aching genitals, I get extreme tingling and burning and foot and leg pain, and my head pounds for days. With each outbreak, my herpes symptoms DO NOT lessen. And to make it worse, no antiviral I have taken has worked, and I have tried almost every nutritional/herbal remedy there is, with the exception of one thing. I feel trapped by my herpes.

Also, although an extreme amount of the population has the herpes virus and the virus isn't selective in choosing its victims, I will admit that having herpes makes me feel dirty. No, it's not true that prostitutes only get herpes, and it doesn't meany you are automatically promiscuous, but it IS a disease you are carrying that can be passed on. That is what makes me feel...icky. I feel...contaminated....impure....pollute d.

I know this probably sounds pretty depressing. In the beginning, after while, I held a more optimistic attitude, but after months of these terrible symptoms along with the inability to have sex with my boyfriend for months, I'm pretty fed up. I did finally get diagnosed as having adrenal insufficiency as well, which lowers my immune system, so I'm sure that is partly or mostly to blame for my continuous outbreaks. I guess I should be thankful...it could be much worse...I could have HIV, or something that would cause me to die. I just wish I could find the strength to feel positive.

~Katalina

Hi gettingwellagain:wave:

As I am totally new to HSV2 I'm not able to offer any real productive advice suffice to say that I'm feeling pretty much like you at the moment though I have no idea yet of how regular my outbreaks will be or how severe,the one im having is pretty damn awful.

Please stress to your DR that you cannot go on like this as it's obviously depressing you.If he/she can't help get a different DR.Your quality of life is what matters here.It's imperitive you get some relief.Stand your ground!please don't give up and just accept that you are to be in pain and without sex every waking day.

Good luck,let us know how it goes

You need to talk to a doctor about this! Try getting on Valtrex Supressive Therapy or try Acyclovir suppressives, if that doesn't work.

Also try Lysine! It wards off outbreaks. You can get it at Walmart.

Another thing you need to take control of is your diet. Diet can effect outbreaks big-time.

It sort of sounds like you might have something called Vulvodynia, rather than having outbreaks all the time.

You mention that no antiviral has helped, have you tried all the brands available?

You also mention that your immune system is low, this could have something to do with it. People get repeated o/b's due to varying reasons, could be hormonal, diet, stress, lifestyle and your immune system. Boosting your immune system is a good way to start and this wont happen in a short time. Whatever you end up taking you will have to take religiously for months to see what effect it is having on you.

Depending where exactly your o/b's occur, i have found that using either straight tea tree oil or diluting it is excellent for any itching, burning or stinging. You can even buy tea tree in a cream form.

If you can catch the o/b very early on then hydrogen peroxide is also good.

Nothing will act as a miracle cure and for some strange reason when it comes to vitamins and herbs and even pharmaceutical treatments what works on one person wont work as well on another person, but i can gurantee you that tea tree oil is fantastic as it stops itching and stinging related to any number of things, not just herpes.