My hubby has beeb obsessed with the mailman, going out to meet him everyday even though our mail slot comes right in the house. Now it seems like he is obsessed with just about everything. Things change so fast....because one day he seems pretty good and the next day he doesn't understand anything. Has anyone else seen this behavior?? He is also roaming all night long and doesn't want me out of his sight. This is really depressing. I can't make a move without him looking for me even though he doesn't call me by name. Can't remember it but he knows that I am his caretaker! It has been a really bad day today and I guess I just needed to vent.

Thanks for listening!
Jan

Ahhh, obsession....

It's something I've seen in my dad many times. "Fixing" things that don't need fixing just because it doesn't seem quite right to him (I'd go around re-fixing when he went to asleep). Then he lets the dog out 5x in an hour. Then he doesn't let the dog out till she pees up the kitchen floor. Then somebody must have spilled something because he just let the dog out....:rolleyes:

Been there, done that....

Some days seem almost normal while others are so off the wall it makes you wonder if YOU'RE the one who's lost it :dizzy: .....at least that's how I felt when dad was with me.

I had a nickname that my dad (and only my dad) called me. Just after he began showing signs of AD, he started calling me Barb. Now he doesn't call me anything anymore. I was thinking just yesterday how I'd love to hear him call me by my nickname just once more. Then I'd know that he knew who I was.

Anyway, such is the progression of AD. Sad, but true....

Love, Barb

My Mom wandered around at night. She rearranged thngs in the kitchen. Moved everything to an illogical place. Sometimes I moved it all back the next morning. But she would rearrange things again the next night.

Just before the fall that took her into the nursing home, she started 'shadowing' my brother. It was uncanny. Whatever he was doing, she was right behind him. If he was at his work table in the basement, fixing Lionel trains, which he does on a part time basis, she was right there watching. He couldn't make a move without his 'shadow.'

Wandering at night is what eventually caused her fall. Along with her forgetfulness and irrationality - she turned out all the lights he deliberately left on so she would be able to see while wandering around, then went down the stairs for a drink of water although a water bottle was right next to her bed and wham! Fell, broke a hip.

She had been with him only 3 months. And he was already beginning to pull his hair out from all the bizarre happenings....

This is all part and parcel of the disease.

Love,

Martha

This is really an on going thing. He "fixes" the lawnmower that doesn't need fixing and we have to put it all back together again. When he gets up at 12:00 - 1:00 am he uses a flashlight. He goes out and eats breakfast! This morning he said we had no milk...so he put water on his wheaties. We had a full gallon of unopened milk in the fridge.

His anger is really starting to come out because he is unable to express himself or find the word he is looking for. Then he tells me I am mean to him because I don't know what the heck he is talking about. It all seems so hopeless!!!!!
Jan

:blob_fire I know it is so frustrating!:blob_fire So sorry you are having to go thru this!

My mom wouldn't know night from day and would tap my dad's shoulder all night as she was afraid he would be late for work. She also had the speech problem...couldn't think of the right words, interchanged words, used the wrong word, (aphasia).... etc. Also, put crackers in the fridge and milk in the cupboard. She would get frustrated too, but didn't act out....became depressed and sad as she lost herself piece by piece...

My FIL who is in the first stages....(actually he might be in stage 4 or 5, but what do I know):dizzy: ...is getting very mean! He not only takes apart the lawn mower, but buys more at garage sales! I'm talking riding lawn mowers!! He has 4 now and none of them work!!! He doesn't know how to fix them anymore....and can't mow his own lawn anymore... (Then what's he doing driving, you ask?):eek:

With my mom I would try to put myself in her shoes.....she hated not being able to do things. And it was easier as she was a female and she wasn't aggressive.

With my FIL, I pretend I'm a deaf mute and try to ignore inappropriate behavior. I try to steer the conversation to something pleasant.

I pray alot!!! You'll be in mine!

Hi MamaDuck,

I really "sort of" know what you are talking about.

About the taking things apart and then not fixing them. Whether it be that what he needs to fix it is lost, stolen or they need to buy one. Or that he forgot (but to cover up), will ask the 91 yr. man across the street to help him! Usually whatever he does to fix the riding lawn mower, just makes it worse and it cost more to fix it, or some other nice neighbor comes along.

By the way, he does not drive and my mom does and also mows when it is working!!!

If you can, just keep doing your part and when you can turn the conversation or what yall are doing to something else. My mom gets my dad out of the house at least 1 x day. Whether it be Walmart, the mall, to eat, Walgreens, and to the senior center. Probably will not happen much longer - as even when she writes them down, they forget the day, time or whatever.

My dad does not roam at night like yours, yet. That would be scary. I hope you have locks on your doors, that he cannot undo!

Keep coming and talking. I need to hear you and learn. It sounds like your dad is not to far from where my dad is, or soon will be.

Take care.

Love, Wannabe

It's a bit funny that your name is mamaduck4, as my grandma's obsession is feeding the ducks :) She currently lives on a lake, and they come right up to her back door - and oh boy, if we run out of corn, we hear about it every 2 minutes until we go to the store, and until then, she'll feed them anything she can find, including dog food! Those lucky ducks must get fed 10 times a day - in the beginning, we tried to limit it, but she'd just sneak out everytime we turned around.

My poor mom is the main caretaker - and like your husband, she doesn't know who mom is, but recognizes that she is someone who is there to care for her. She actually thinks mom is a second non-related woman with the same name as her daughter. In a rare moment of clarity, grandma looked at me one day and said, "I know who she is, I know she's my daughter, it's just hard to believe she's all grown up - she's still my little girl". Know that so many of the harsh words you hear are not what they sound like - they're out of confusion and lack of ability to word appropriately. I know they still hurt though. So, just keep hope up for those moments of clarity, and remember you're not alone!

It's a bit funny that your name is mamaduck4, as my grandma's obsession is feeding the ducks :) She currently lives on a lake, and they come right up to her back door - and oh boy, if we run out of corn, we hear about it every 2 minutes until we go to the store, and until then, she'll feed them anything she can find, including dog food! Those lucky ducks must get fed 10 times a day - in the beginning, we tried to limit it, but she'd just sneak out everytime we turned around.

My poor mom is the main caretaker - and like your husband, she doesn't know who mom is, but recognizes that she is someone who is there to care for her. She actually thinks mom is a second non-related woman with the same name as her daughter. In a rare moment of clarity, grandma looked at me one day and said, "I know who she is, I know she's my daughter, it's just hard to believe she's all grown up - she's still my little girl". Know that so many of the harsh words you hear are not what they sound like - they're out of confusion and lack of ability to word appropriately. I know they still hurt though. So, just keep hope up for those moments of clarity, and remember you're not alone!

My mom was obsessive about everything! She would feed her dogs, then turn around and feed the dogs. Unfortunately, they ended up with weight problems & even tho the vet would tell her 2 small meals a day would be fine, she would feed them the way she wanted to, forgetting that she just fed them. She also became obsessive about the mail. She would watch for the mailtruck to come & would run out to meet him, but them would swear that someone was stealing her mail because something she was waiting for never came. I think that obsessive behavior and suspicious behavior are parts of the alzheimers and something we have to learn to deal with. Thank goodness mom is in a safe place & her dogs are in "doggie heaven". Mom has a habit of stopping in the hallway at the NH or hospital and "petting her dogs" or talking to them. I'm glad coz if it makes her happy, its OK by me.

Ahh Mamaduck,

My mom, too, was paranoid and roamed around at night.

Right before I moved her to the "group home," she had started following me around. I think they call it "shadowing." That nearly drove me batty.

It was just awful. She would creep, very quietly, so I wouldn't know she was behind me, but I'd turn around! and there she was. All the time. That was a hard one to cope with.....

Take care and try to get some "alone time," when you can,