My husband just informed me that he has had herpes for the past 4 years and failed to mention it to me. We were broken up when he got it, so I am not worried about cheating. I just don't know what to expect. I have not had any OB's and he mentioned that he did not have any symptoms whenever we had sex. For the most part we have always used a condom.

So I guess I need to know all the facts on the disease. We need to go together to the doctor and I need to get tested. I don't really know much about this, so any info would be appreciated.

I guess I am mostly at this point bummed because I never wanted to worry about this type of thing once I was married. Now we will have to worry about it for the rest of our lives :mad:

Oh, and of course I am pretty P***ed at him for not telling me. How dare he expose me to something without my informed consent :mad: He has apologized profusely. It will take time for me to totally forgive.

Well, you should defintely start reading a lot of the posts. They entail a lot of information/personal experiences. You should also go to your doctor and get as many facts as possible. You should find out what type of herpes (Hsv1 or HSV2)? I hope you find what you are looking for and feel free to ask any questions after you have read other posts.

Sorry, but that's the way most of us got it. Read, read, read as much as you can, it's always better to be informed. But, keep in mind it's not a death sentence....Get tested asap and you have to ask specifically for a herpes test, not part of your standard std test - which I find appauling...But, anyway....Did he give you a reason, for not telling you?? I'm sorry, but that's just plain selfishness....I don't blame you for being p*****d, I know i would be!!! That is very lame....Crossing my fingers & hoping that you don't have it, but if you do....It's just an inconvenience....Aka a pain in the a**......
Good luck, read, search and read some more....Keep posting, I'll be crossing my fingers for you! -shinyOrn

Well hopefully you have avoided catching it...he must not have much in the way of OBs if you never noticed them before so maybe you didn't catch it. Also with using condoms you have protected yourself as well as you can. But you should go and get tests asap and if you are negative, you can now use extra precautions and know to never have unprotected sex and also shower or wash very thoroughly after sex. Also now that you know he has herpes, you can know to look for even the slightest little red bump on him before y'all have sex. Just curious, why did he tell you now...did he have a full blown OB that he couldn't hide anymore? :confused:

He told me now because I initiated sex when he was having an OB - he had to tell me.

Does this mean that we can never have unprotected sex in our marriage? How are we going to be able to try for a baby? Besides, I don't really like sex. I don't have much of a drive. The only time I actually enjoy it is if we are not using a condom. Is my sex life ruined for the rest of my life?

I think that's one reason why it's important for couples to both be tested so you will know for sure whether or not you have herpes because if you've already contracted herpes from him then you can stop worrying. There's this assumption people have that since there's been no symptoms then they've not caught herpes and that's simply not true. You can have herpes and never have experienced what you'd recognize as a herpes OB. If you do not have herpes and you want to have children then you have no other choice but to have unprotected sex just be certain he's not having an OB. You will of course risk catching herpes but there's no other way around it...any time you choose to have a relationship(even though you weren't given a choice) with someone that has genital herpes, you stand the risk of catching it even with protection.