wifeofMS
08-13-2006, 12:59 PM
I am new to MS. My husband (we are separated) was just diagnosed. My question could be considered sensitive but please understand that I am just searching for answers. He is begging me to come back to our marriage and I left because our marriage was not a healthy one. I do not feel that it is in my best interest or my children to go back. I was abused both physically and verbally.
Question: Is there a link between MS and someone that is abusive? Can MS affect the way someone handles life. I just don't know enough about MS. I am sincerely sorry if this is offensive to anyone. That is not my attention.
Question: Is there a link between MS and someone that is abusive? Can MS affect the way someone handles life. I just don't know enough about MS. I am sincerely sorry if this is offensive to anyone. That is not my attention.
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hkholwerda
08-13-2006, 01:10 PM
I recommend that you visit www.nationalmssociety.org It is the best web site to give the accurate up-to-date stuff about MS. There is not a link between MS and abuse. It is a major process to work through emotions when diagnosed. If he can live alone with some adjustments that would be great. It doesn't sound like either of you, or the kids, would benefit from living together.
Best of Luck
Best of Luck
sunshine149
08-13-2006, 01:27 PM
I'm sure your husband is scared. But you should not return to an abusive situation under any circumstances. Guilt is not the route to take in this situation (or any situaion for that matter)! Love yourself and your children. Your husband will have to find the resources within himself to go on, regardless of MS.
MILLSC
08-13-2006, 03:34 PM
I too lived in an abusive marriage for years before gathering the strength to leave. I do not know your personal situation, but by and large, abuse and manipulation are flip sides of the same coin. While dealing with serious health issues is out of our control, hang on to the things you do control, i.e., your and your children's well being. Remember, you have an issue that you are trying to heal as well and it simply can't be done unless you put it first. It sounds as if your husband does have other family he can rely on to help him instead of you- If you truly want to help him, do it on your terms and learn how to give the guilt back to the original owner. I know how hard that is to do, but you'll gain back the things lost to abuse over time along with a new empowerment that you've never known before. I'll say a prayer for for you as I remember the place you're in right now and how difficult it is .
God Bless,
millsc
God Bless,
millsc
wifeofMS
08-13-2006, 04:13 PM
Thank you to all of you for replying. I will take the advice and search the website recommended. I also agree that I have to keep plugging in a positive light my children. I pray that his family will come through for him. I never wished anything bad for him. He is the father of my children and I wouldn't have them without him. I may of faced some difficult times but God has blessed me and guided me so far and I don't expect anything different in the future. Again thank you and God Bless all of you that suffer MS. I plan on getting involved with MS and would like to include my children in this process. I figure it can be a way for us to learn more about MS and to support the cause to find a cure.
LaLady
08-13-2006, 04:57 PM
I don't think there is a true "connection" between MS and abusive behaviour.
The only thing I can think of is he is acting out on the depression and mental confusion that so often accompanies MS.
Your first loyalty is to your children. I am sure they are frightened and upset by your situation and his decline. Do not endanger yourself from any imagined guilt.
My prayers are with you all.
The only thing I can think of is he is acting out on the depression and mental confusion that so often accompanies MS.
Your first loyalty is to your children. I am sure they are frightened and upset by your situation and his decline. Do not endanger yourself from any imagined guilt.
My prayers are with you all.
gaulty
08-21-2006, 05:38 PM
long before i was ever told i had MS the docs told me i needed a shrink, this made me feel the hole world i knew before had turned against me.
I bust the house up shouted at my wife and went on self distruct mode.
then when a doctor did believe my symtoms i could start to sort it out in my own head. My wife did leave me for 3 or 4 months then when i sorted it she came back, this was still before i was told i had MS, and when i was told it was a relief to me as i thaught it may have been alot worse.We have a 2 year old now i have MS in remition and everythings cool. (ramble over).
does MS directly change your temper, and mind? IMO yes
does MS indirectly change your temper and mind? IMO yes
MS is alot off the time harder to deal with before you know you have MS
if things were bad before this then thats different, its your call and good luck to all off you, hope my total ramble helped a bit
G.
I bust the house up shouted at my wife and went on self distruct mode.
then when a doctor did believe my symtoms i could start to sort it out in my own head. My wife did leave me for 3 or 4 months then when i sorted it she came back, this was still before i was told i had MS, and when i was told it was a relief to me as i thaught it may have been alot worse.We have a 2 year old now i have MS in remition and everythings cool. (ramble over).
does MS directly change your temper, and mind? IMO yes
does MS indirectly change your temper and mind? IMO yes
MS is alot off the time harder to deal with before you know you have MS
if things were bad before this then thats different, its your call and good luck to all off you, hope my total ramble helped a bit
G.