I have looked for a board to be able to talk about my problem, and I hope this is it. I will try to make this as short as I can. I cannot stop eating!! I eat from the time I get up in the morning, until I go to bed at night. I am 5'1, and 255. I am 49 years old, married to the best guy in the world, for 32 years. I have 3 great kids, and 2 beautiful grand-daughters. I am so depressed, because I eat to the point of getting sick. I have developed diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and now, entering menopause, I feel like I'm ready to fall completely apart. I have talked to my doctor about this for years, and all he does is give me pills..anti-depressnats, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety pills, etc. I am so sick of letting my life be run by food, and trying to fix the way I'm feeling with pills. I have a great life, but I hate myself for being so weak, and I feel like an ugly, disgusting failure of a pig. No one in my family knows I feel like this. I always am happy and joking around them, but secretly, sometimes I wish I would die in my sleep, because I am getting so fat that I can't STAND the way I feel, physically and emotionally. But yet, I keep eating. I can't stop. What the hell is wrong with me? What should I do? I know if I keep on, I will die, from a heart attack, or diabetes or something. Someone, please HELP!!!!

Hey rag_doll, welcome to the community. Having been where you are, I truly feel your pain. Food is addictive stuff, and binge eating is definitely a valid problem that deserves medical help. I'm sorry your doctor isn't very sympathetic, at least he has acknowledged that there is an emotional link but just throwing pills at you won't help if nobody helps you learn how to break out of this. Don't beat yourself up because you don't know how to just stop this - someone has to show you the way. Is it possible for you to talk to a nutritionist to help you figure out a good food plan? Have you gotten clearance to exercise from your doctor? I know it can seem daunting, but even just a few minutes a day of walking - anything that gets you moving a bit - can turn into a healthy routine. I run and weightlift now but when I started, I could hardly walk up a flight of stairs! Maybe some healthy cookbooks, if you like to cook?Have you tried to talk to your husband? I bet he knows that something is bothering you...my husband always knows. It can be hard for them to understand, but they want to try. The main thing is, try and look for little steps you can take to get where you want to go - it's tough, but it sounds like you have a great family to help support you in this.

Wow! I saw your post on "my thread" and then found "your thread". Seems we are in a similar position. (with a slight height difference - I am 6 feet tall - *chuckle*). My weight is affecting my health - I am under treatment for high blood pressure. I am also on several medications to deal with depression and anxiety - prescribed by my primary care physician. However, I do have a difference here. My primary care prescribed the medication to help me cope, but consistently told me that I needed to get into counseling/therapy. It took a while of her telling me this, but I finally did listen and I am now in therapy. My medications gave me the ability to at least function, but my therapy is improving things greatly for me. Granted, I have yet to focus on my eating disorder - there have been plenty of other issues to work on!

Now I am getting ready to discuss my eating disorder in therapy. For the past few weeks my eating has been way out of control and I have been binging and hiding food. I know that this is probably tied into many of my other issues (emotional abuse as a child among other things).

There are many days when I feel I just can't stop eating. I don't want to eat, but somehow the food finds its way into my mouth. I am about 70 pounds overweight and I absolutely hate it!

I am not sure what is out there for dealing with eating disorders, but I do know that having my therapist has made a huge difference for me. Maybe some counseling would help you.

Liz

I have looked for a board to be able to talk about my problem, and I hope this is it. I will try to make this as short as I can. I cannot stop eating!! I eat from the time I get up in the morning, until I go to bed at night. I am 5'1, and 255. I am 49 years old, married to the best guy in the world, for 32 years. I have 3 great kids, and 2 beautiful grand-daughters. I am so depressed, because I eat to the point of getting sick. I have developed diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and now, entering menopause, I feel like I'm ready to fall completely apart. I have talked to my doctor about this for years, and all he does is give me pills..anti-depressnats, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety pills, etc. I am so sick of letting my life be run by food, and trying to fix the way I'm feeling with pills. I have a great life, but I hate myself for being so weak, and I feel like an ugly, disgusting failure of a pig. No one in my family knows I feel like this. I always am happy and joking around them, but secretly, sometimes I wish I would die in my sleep, because I am getting so fat that I can't STAND the way I feel, physically and emotionally. But yet, I keep eating. I can't stop. What the hell is wrong with me? What should I do? I know if I keep on, I will die, from a heart attack, or diabetes or something. Someone, please HELP!!!!
Hi rag doll-
Sorry to hear about everything you are going through. Having suffered from binge eating and compulsive eating I can feel your pain. You said in your post you hated yourself for being so weak. You are NOT weak, you have an eating disorder and you are trying to get help. That takes strength and courage. I suggest you see a counselor or therapist preferably someone who specializes in eating disorders. They know how to treat eating disorders and can help you work through this. You can not beat this thing alone. Tell your husband about what you are going through. It sounds like he really loves you and I am sure he will help you. This board is also a good place to come because we know how hard it is to be a slave to food. You need all the support you can get and we are here for you. I will say a prayer for you and please keep us updated.

God Bless You:angel:
MANNO