Hi, all. I'm new to this board. I've been searching the internet for information about autism spectrum disorder because I wonder if I may fall on the spectrum and, if so, where do I fall and what should I do about it? Let me tell you why I think I might be on the spectrum.

I'm a 40 year old female. About 20 years ago my mother said to me, "I've always wondered if you were a little autistic as a child." This was surprising to me because I had a stereotypical image of what an autistic child was like--completely uncommunicative with strange hand gestures and head movements. I thought it was absurd for her to say I was autistic.

My mom said this because as a child (and even now) I hated to be touched. I wouldn't let anyone touch me at all except for my mom and then only under very specific circumstances--I would let her hold me on the porch as she sang to me and I would allow her to rub my back at church (but only during the nighttime service, never during the morning service).

Recently I've come to realize I'm different than most people when it comes to social needs. I don't like groups of people. When I'm forced to be in a social setting I need hours to decompress afterward. Being with people is extremely tiring to me mentally. This is probably my number one issue. I find the presence of too many people painful. I can't wait to get away, into my own space, to decompress.

I'm very rigid when it comes to routines and I'm happiest when my routines are not interrupted. I hate it when I have things to do (like getting an oil change) that aren't part of my routine. The thought of the oil change will obsess me and bother me until I manage to get it done. If I have more than one such thing happening at once it can very well reduce me to tears.

I realize from my reading that these things are typical of people with autism spectrum disorder. However, there are certain things about me that are so unlike what I've read that I'm just not sure. For example, I'm typically hyper-aware of other people's thoughts and emotions. I may sometimes misinterpret humor or take things too seriously but people tend to think of me as very empathetic.

Second, there is one person that I can tolerate being around a lot. This person seems to vibrate on my frequency and doesn't cause me to have that same mental fatigue. I still sometimes have the touch issue even with this person, though.

I'm sorry this is so long. I don't know where to start looking for answers. Can someone help me?

Maybeme,

Welcome to the board! So much of what you describe could describe me as well. I dislike crowds, preferring to be by myself or with small groups of people I know well. I prefer to do one thing at a time, rather than many things poorly. I am not cut out to "multitask."

I prefer to be with people who share experiences and interests with me. I tend to gravitate toward people who are animal lovers like me, particularly cat lovers. Finding an Internet cat site helped me form lasting friendships.

I sometimes wonder if I have Asperger Syndrome. I had no significant speech delays and, in fact, was an early and avid reader, which is typical of people with AS. I also was socially awkward and shy. My problems are comparatively mild, manifesting themselves mainly in shyness and nervousness in social situations, but noticeable to me.

Good luck to you.

Just because you are empathetic doesn't mean you're not an Aspie/high-functioning autistic. This is a misconception. I'm an Aspie, and I, too, am hyperaware of changes in mood of those who I am closest with. I can always tell when my mom is upset or something to that effect. I liked the way you said you have to "decompress" after being with people. That's a good word to describe it. It is almost like being filled with pressure. I need to be alone afterwards, too. Do you have any "special interests," areas of academia or hobbies that you pursue? This is often a big criterion.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

The "special interests" section of the DSM-IV criteria for AS is what made me think I have it. I always seem to have some unusual interest. Currently, it is the life of Roger Bannister, the English runner who became the first person to break four minutes for the mile. I imagine Roger Bannister has quite a few AS traits himself. He inspires me because he obliterates the stereotypes associated with AS. He inspires me with his accomplishments in medicine and in life. The four minute mile, to me, is a metaphor for accomplishing the seemingly impossible in life. His story is a real inspiration to me. It gives me hope that someday, I too, can overcome the remaining obstacles in my life to achieve overall success.

Thank you for your responses! I'm glad to hear that there are others that are similar to me.

I don't have consistent special interests, I have "campaigns." I will become obsessed with an interest, talking about it constantly and thinking about little else but I eventually tire of it and move onto something else. I get a lot done this way but it can tend to annoy people around me.

That's normal. Some Aspies/high functioning autistics' obsessive fixations change frequently and others have the same throughout their lives. I'm the second. I keep adding more and more fixations, but never really letting go of the old ones. New ones will become more prevalent, but the older ones are still very much liked. For example, as a young child, I was obsessed with road signs and height requirements for amusement park rides. I still am. It's much lessened now, but it will always be with me. I don't know how to drive because I'm scared out of my mind of driving from my OCD fear of killing someone, but I passed the test for my permit only because I was interested in the road signs. :D
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

Maybeme,

I am much the same way. I will get on a kick and study everything about a favorite subject intensively for about six months. I gain a lot of knowledge about related areas along the way. I sometimes get embarrassed when something I see reminds me of a past interest. I haven't abandoned any of my old interests completely. They are all stored in my memory and I can talk about it if someone asks.

Gatsby,

I am a mixture of the first and second types. Some interests change, but aren't abandoned altogether. Some are constants in my life, such as cats and other animals.

I haven't abandoned any of my old interests completely. They are all stored in my memory and I can talk about it if someone asks.
That's how I am. I still know all of the facts about my older fixations, but the natural urge to talk about them isn't there. I enjoy talking about them if it's brought up, but it's not like the current ones where I find any excuse I can to bring up the subject. For example, an older fixation of mine is statistics of rides at Cedar Point. I used to talk about this non-stop at age 12, but now I only will if I meet someone who happens to mention going there or simply that they enjoy rollercoasters. However, I will find any loophole that I can to bring A Beautiful Mind or Asperger's into the conversation. How ironic is it that one of my latest fixations is the thing that brings the fixation in the first place? ;) Even though I Love Lucy is still my biggest fixation, what I collect and know the most about, I have already gone through the phase of needing to talk about it. I can tell when that phase is over because, during the phase, I will smile/giggle to myself at any mention of the topic or be bursting with excitement. This is what happens whenever I read something about A Beautiful Mind or Asperger's. I don't do this for Lucy anymore. It does happen when someone mentions entropy or the Second Law of Thermodynamics because it reminds me of chem class last year and I just simply like entropy. It makes me laugh. I don't get embarrassed about seeing something that relates to a past fixation, but I do kind of get embarrassed sometimes when I launch into one of my monologues because I'm always afraid that I am going to bore somebody or, more likely, that I don't like to share it because they won't understand how much it means to me. I never realized I bored people until I was twelve with the Cedar Point rollercoaster fixation. My mom pointed this out to me. I get self-conscious at times. I tend to only discuss my fixations in-depth or for a long time with people who are also into the same subject. Then I'll just go on-and-on. :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

Gatsby,

I agree. I am very interested in reading up on autism and Asperger's. I seem to use any excuse to include Roger Bannister in one of my posts. He reminds me so much of a very high functioning individual with Asperger's who went on to live an extraordinary life. He had a rough childhood and adolescence because he felt "different" from others, but used his considerable talent and intelligence to excel in adulthood. For that reason, he inspires me.