Hi there,

I'm fairly new here and not even sure yet if I have the virus...test results come back later next week. The emergency Dr. I saw this morning suspects it could be genital herpes as the sores look "similar". So a scraping was done along with an internal. Thing is, because I'm so new to this virus and now finding out that there's a real chance I might have it, I am terrified and yes, even ashamed. I am sure this is a normal feeling when first finding out such news, but how does one get over it? More specifically, how do you tell your new partner who you may have now infected because you were completely unaware until these bumps/sores appeared?

I get tested every year for STD's during my annual physical exam which is in May...screening came back negative for all. However, I'm now informed that herpes testing is not typical in the screening process and therefore I could have been a carrier for mths or even yrs and didn't know it. However, I was also told that if this infection I seem to have is herpes, that it could very well be a recent exposure as it appears I am having some kind of o/b - though I also have a UTI at the same time....go figure....isn't that fun! Ummm, NO.

So how does one know or how does one rule out whether it's a recent infection or a long standing one without symptoms? My new guy I've been with for just over a week or so now and we were intimate twice, then these sores appeared 2 days ago that have gotten slightly worse and today I had aches, chills and tonight a fever. Lucky for me the Dr. says that if results come back positive for herpes that it's a mild o/b....what does that mean???? He gave me a prescription for Famvir and I've taken 2 doses as of today....says he'll treat it as though it's a herpes o/b just in case. My question is, how do you know if it's a first time o/b and when you might have been exposed to the virus and which type it is 1 or 2? Can a person have the bumps/sores develop on the genitals within 4-5 days of intercourse with an infected person? I'm still completely confused by a lot of this.....can anyone help??

One last question actually...if you had oral sex performed on you as well as vaginal and anal penetration with the person who has infected you, but there is no ejaculation, is there any way of knowing what type of herpes it is and would you not break out with sores around the anal area as well?...and if there was oral performed and then they're kissing you, wouldn't you also then get oral herpes??

Oops, spelled "wisedom" wrong....lol

There is no way to tell just how long a person has had this common virus. As you say, you could have had this for months or even years. Going 15 years without know is very common because an outbreak might be so mild it goes unnoticed or misdiagnosed as jock itch, yeast, etc.

A typical outbreak when getting first infected will happen within 2-20 days. More typical is the outbreak go unnoticed. Research has shown that people with a preexisting case of oral HSV1 (also know as coldsores or fever blisters) will have very mild initial HSV2 outbreaks. They also won't produce the sores like the horror pictures on the Net.

Some quick stats: 60-80% of the population has oral HSV1, many getting it as a child when getting kissed from a family member. 1 in 4 adults has genital herpes, yet 90% don't know it. Every 4th person you see, touch, talk to will have genital herpes. Your next partner has a 25% chance of already being infected.

A blood test can only tell you what you have (hsv1, hsv2), but not where you have it, oral or genitals. The norm is oral hsv1 and genital hsv2, but you can have either or both in either location. Oral hsv2 is rare, genital hsv1 is gaining in numbers because of oral sex and because most young people are not aware cold sores are the herpes virus.

Search out Terri Warren's 'Herpes Handbook', you can also find her on WebMD, which has a working relationship with this board.

I would recommend you partner get tested so they can know their complete hsv status and what protection if any is necessary.

Herpes isn't spread through the ejaculate of a man...that's why to me calling it an STD is kind of a stretch. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, there doesn't have to be any penatration at all..you can even be a virgin and have genital herpes!!! And as far as will you get sores in this spot or that spot...it's anyone's guess. You can get lesions in places that you wouldn't even think you touched like I have gotten rashes on my wrist, my hip, my fingers as well as the genital area yet have not gotten any on my lips but I have certainly contacted(touched) herpes on my lips. People will have sores on the anal area but have never had anal sex before.

Well I’ve been reading as much as I can about the virus and it seems that major trauma, stress and/or surgeries are major triggers for outbreaks. So you could have the virus and not be aware, then suddenly there’s an outbreak.

I guess my confusion is this, in all my life (I am now approaching my mid 30’s) I have never had a cold sore, EVER. I have had the odd chancre sore but even with those, they are very few and far between. I also didn’t even begin getting things like vaginal yeast infections and/or bacterial infections until my 30’s (more the last 2-3 yrs). When I’ve had any kind of irritation or discharge that is not normal for me, I get myself checked by my Dr. and when results have come back it’s either been positive for yeast or bacteria (it’s been bacterial twice). I’d say I usually get checked on average 2 times a year for STD’s but for sure once a year. I rarely get a flu/fever or for that matter colds. I’m sick maybe 2-3 times a year with those kinds of things and almost always after my son passes it on to me.

I had my son at the age of 24 with no outbreak of any kind. My son is now 10 yrs old and has also never had a cold sore (or chancre sore for that matter) to date. In my later 20’s I went through a period of being highly stressed, going through anxiety, depression and panic attacks, to the point of being on anti-depressants (Zoloft) for about 3 yrs….again, no o/b’s, no cold sores no problems with vaginal irritation, rashes of any kind, etc.

Now in my 30’s, I went through major surgery this past February and my immune system was severely compromised. The Dr.’s were on the verge of giving me a blood transfusion because I had lost way too much blood during surgery…my blood counts and blood pressure were not going up. Finally there was improvement by the end of the 2nd day after my surgery and I was released 2 days later. From what the Doctor said yesterday and from the reading I’ve done thus far, I would think that if I had the herpes virus during this surgery and recovery time, it would have likely made itself known, as the body is MUCH more susceptible during these times…not only for contracting the virus but for outbreaks as well. That said, I never had any kind of o/b or irritations at this time either, not before the surgery or recovery from surgery, which took 6-8 weeks…I wasn’t back to work until the 6th week.

Knowing all of this, especially the most recent of trauma’s (my surgery) the Dr. yesterday said it’s most likely that I have been exposed to the virus more recently. If that’s the case, is it common for a person to have the bumps/sores develop within 4-5 days of contact with the virus? I ask because I’m terrified to tell my new boyfriend, however, after having intercourse with him the first time, the bumps started to appear 4.5 days later.

I have already told the other two people and have suggested to them that they get checked, however it will have to be a blood test as neither of them have any apparent physical symptoms and they both claim they never have…and I know they didn’t have any when I was with them – no cold sores, no open sores or blisters, etc., in the genital area…then again, neither does my current b/f. So if it is anyone of these 3 individuals, none of them have symptoms! Anyway, if the other two get tested and the blood comes back negative, I guess that means they’re not infected and therefore there stands a strong likelihood my current b/f could very well be the one who’s passed it on to me. I just don’t know how to approach the situation once I have my results back as well as the results back from the other men…cuz if I’m positive (and I’m pretty sure it’s going to come back that I am) and these other 2 guys are not…I don’t even know how to begin a conversation such as this with my new guy. I’m afraid of losing him for one and if it turns out he is positive for the virus, I don’t want to be blamed for giving it to him either….I’m feeling a tremendous amount of guilt and stress over this whole situation. :O(

If you can get your new bf to go ahead and have a blood test done and if it's possitive, you will know that he has had it for a while and is most likely the one you got it from. If the test for you comes back negative, it's good but it's really not very accurate. I'm assuming it's a swab because a blood test is useless if you just contracted it but you should have gotten a blood test to see if you have had it for a while. If a blood test comes back positive for you then you know that you didn't just recently catch it. And the chances that you were given a herpes blood test during routine std screening is slim to none! Seems like doctors don't even want to test if you ask them to?????????