Hi All! :wave:

I'm new here, so I may need a little help finding my way around.

My best friend has 3 children who struggle, each a little different from the other. She is a wonderful person, who is really going through a hard time right now. I'm hoping to find some advise and support that I can offer her.

One of her children has been diagnosed with Autism, she is highly functional, and a lovely young lady.

Another one of her children has been diagnoed with Aspergers, and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. A sweet little guy that's hurting an awful lot because of being so rejected from his peers.

With school beginning next week for them, anxiety is high, and hope is low. Any advise for a friend who would do anything to help....

My heart goes out to this woman and her children. I have no advice to give, but I wish for the best for these children.

What a wonderful friend you are to come here and seek advice. I have four children, three of which are on the autism spectrum. We too struggle everyday. When I first found out, I found that my friends kind of distanced themselves from me. It was as if they didn't know what to say, so they chose to say nothing at all. Then one day I forwarded my friends a video from the internet explaining what it is like to live with autism. All of the sudden, they all understood much better what our family was going through.

I have one friend who has been so supportive. She started doing autism research and forwarding me links to important websites. It means so much to know that she is willing to help. Really what your friend probably needs the most right now is someone to listen. And if you can offer to help by taking a kid for her one day so she can get some rest and relaxation time, I'm sure she would appreciate it.

Take some time and learn as much as you can about autism, the struggles that the children face, and the struggles that the families face. That will mean a lot to your friend if you educate yourself on the subject.

Good luck to both you and your friend.

-Steph

Steph,

I have found the people here to be very supportive. They are tolerant of me when I speak of the comparatively small issues I face every day, and don't say, "Oh, there is nothing wrong." I do feel fortunate to have the intelligence and coping skills to function well in my working environment, but I want to develop the skills to advance in other areas. I don't believe problems have to be serious to merit concern. The people here are really understanding.

Thank you so much for the encouraging words 9CatMom, and Sross24 , I'm feeling more hopeful already. I can only imagine how hearing what you've had to say, and what others who share these concerns might be able to offer, would make her feel. She is in such need of a major HOPE booster.

Her children are pretty on the outside, but they are BEAUTIFUL on the inside, really wonderful kids. I'm so hoping to find a place where she can get some good advise, and encouragement/hope from others experiences.

Thanks again, the world is a better place because of folks like you.... :)

Those kids sound very intelligent and very sweet. I hope that they get the help they need to achieve their full potential. Hopefully, if they have special interests, they can get involved in some activity related to their interests that can help them get in touch with other kids with similar interests. I have found that my own social skills have improved markedly by finding people with common interests. I wasn't really social throughout my school years, preferring to concentrate on academics, but I got more involved after completing my education.

How old are your friends kids? And what state do they live in? Different states offer different services. Your friend may qualify for respite care or other special services through the state.

-Steph

Those kids sound very intelligent and very sweet. I hope that they get the help they need to achieve their full potential. Hopefully, if they have special interests, they can get involved in some activity related to their interests that can help them get in touch with other kids with similar interests. I have found that my own social skills have improved markedly by finding people with common interests. I wasn't really social throughout my school years, preferring to concentrate on academics, but I got more involved after completing my education.

Good idea, thanks for the info, 9CatMom! :)

How old are your friends kids? And what state do they live in? Different states offer different services. Your friend may qualify for respite care or other special services through the state.

-Steph

Really?

I live in IL, and my friend lives in Ohio...

She has a daughter who is 17...

Another daughter who just turned 14...

And her son just turned 10...

Tina,

Be there for your friend. Listen. Many people don't understand our kids & think we as Moms are to blame for their differences. Be supportive.

Do something nice for your friend once in a while. If you grow flowers, cut a few for her birthday. But don't go overboard with extravagance that she feels has to be reciprocated.

If you become a trusted friend, and able to look after the kids, perhaps you can help out occasionally -- or be on a list to contact in case of a family emergency. Like when say one kid needs to go to the ER for stitches.

Express your appreciation of the kids' inner & outer beauty. Moms need to hear it. Try to ignore any misbehavior they do in your presence; give your attention to the good things they do.

Best wishes.

Tina,

Be there for your friend. Listen. Many people don't understand our kids & think we as Moms are to blame for their differences. Be supportive.

Do something nice for your friend once in a while. If you grow flowers, cut a few for her birthday. But don't go overboard with extravagance that she feels has to be reciprocated.

If you become a trusted friend, and able to look after the kids, perhaps you can help out occasionally -- or be on a list to contact in case of a family emergency. Like when say one kid needs to go to the ER for stitches.

Express your appreciation of the kids' inner & outer beauty. Moms need to hear it. Try to ignore any misbehavior they do in your presence; give your attention to the good things they do.

Best wishes.

You all are so sweet here, thank you for the kind words.

I have been friends with this gal for about 19 years, and would do anything I could for her and her family, they are all great folks.

We met when she lived here in IL, she moved to Ohio about 13 years ago due to her husbands job change. So I am somewhat limited on being a help to her, but without a doubt will do all I can.

Thanks Elmhar! :)

:wave: Hi there, I have four adorable little ones, My 7 year old has Pollycystic kidneys and he is very short, he is about half the size of the other children, but very social. My 5 year old has Autism and still doesn’t use his words for communication. I was worried about them going to school and facing social criticism and being known as a strange family. But to my surprise they are very popular. I took some good advise from a book – “Even though your Autistic child doesn’t care too much about fashion, keep up to date on what is in style and dress your child like the other children”. :cool: I also talk to my 7 year old a lot about his day at school and how to deal with what kids say. I have built his self-confidence very high telling him everyday how wonderful and funny he is. :p I had also gone the extra mile to set up play dates and get phone numbers of his friends and encouraged him to call and say hi. Sports are another great way for kids to form a bond. Especially when they see each other at school and their sport activity. Self confidence is the true key if a child thinks and acts like he is nothing or wierd, kids will think that as well, If a person walks around with a smile and a humble confidence People will be naturally attracted.
You can also help your friend by telling her about us. Your a great friend!:D

:wave: Hi there, I have four adorable little ones, My 7 year old has Pollycystic kidneys and he is very short, he is about half the size of the other children, but very social. My 5 year old has Autism and still doesn’t use his words for communication. I was worried about them going to school and facing social criticism and being known as a strange family. But to my surprise they are very popular. I took some good advise from a book – “Even though your Autistic child doesn’t care too much about fashion, keep up to date on what is in style and dress your child like the other children”. :cool: I also talk to my 7 year old a lot about his day at school and how to deal with what kids say. I have built his self-confidence very high telling him everyday how wonderful and funny he is. :p I had also gone the extra mile to set up play dates and get phone numbers of his friends and encouraged him to call and say hi. Sports are another great way for kids to form a bond. Especially when they see each other at school and their sport activity. Self confidence is the true key if a child thinks and acts like he is nothing or wierd, kids will think that as well, If a person walks around with a smile and a humble confidence People will be naturally attracted.
You can also help your friend by telling her about us. Your a great friend!:D

Sorry I don't know why it Posted so many times!

Thanks for the post Brandiof4! :)

Wow, what a great mom, your children are lucky to have you, it sounds like you are a big part of what makes the difference in their lives, and may God bless you for it.

I just got off the phone with my friend, she was crying, with school starting next week she is already feeling so hopeless, she is so wore down. I have told her about you all, and I am hoping to convince her to stop by and take a look around. I really do feel, reading here and talking with you all would make a difference in her life.

If you think of it would you all say a prayer for her.

Thanks,
Tina

Hello,
My PDD-NOS 9 yr old has a problem with not having friends at school, he is at a lower play level and has trouble with conversation, he spends about 1/2 day in Sp Ed and the other in typical classroom. He has come home crying several times that he has no friends, usually because he thinks someone is his friend and than they tell him he's not their friend (of course, then I cry). I talked to his teachers about it and his sp ed teacher worked with pairing him with someone in his class that is close to his level, and the teachers stressed that they are his friends, and although this doesn't make up for the lack, it helped a little and he's been better about it since. You are a good friend to come looking for information to help her, so I'm sure your helping her already, just by listening when she feels down. There are alot of times I feel like I have no one to talk to and she is very lucky to have a friend like you.
Robin

Oh Robin, I wish the two of you lived near each other, she is going through the same things with her little boy. He has no friends in his class either, the boys are very mean to him at recess, they make him go stand on the other side of the playground and tell him if he talks they will beat him up.

This little guy is very social, and he just wants a friend so badly, he will often ask my friend if she will find him a buddy to play with.

I know it breaks my heart, so I can't even imagine how it tears at you and my friends heart.

I'm very worried about her, she is in such a low place right now. I'm really going to work hard at getting her to come by this board. I know it would help her some just to have people to talk with who understand. Thank you all for being so nice.

I'm glad to have met you and the others, hope to talk again soon.

Tina