First of all, i've always been very different. I'm sheltered, but in a way i like it. Though i am only 18, I love my parents and I am very friend and family based. I have drinken on occasion, but i refuse to do drugs. At home I had about 6 or 7 friends that I am very close with and could talk to about anything. Anyways, today was the first day of college. I feel like I am the only one here who dosn't want to do drugs or drink all night and be all wild. I know it may sound geeky, but I like it when people go to bed. I know you may be thinking this is sad, but I'm just not the typical teenage boy. Anyways, do you think this is normal? Will I ever find people that I can trust and enjoy to be around? I feel SO alone and so depressed like there's no one to talk to or ANYTHING! Please tell me your honest opinion. Thanks a lot.

I feel your pain and wish to tell you things do get better. Have you thought about joining a school sponsored organization? What interests do you have?

You shouldn't be ashamed, you should be proud that you are not one of the weak minded people who choose to take drugs. Taking drugs is not cool, maybe at one time it was 'Rock and roll'! but look at how many people who are tea total straight heads, even rock stars like Gene Simmons from Kiss.

I love my parents and I am very friend and family based

Mate, that's something to be proud of more than wild nights out. Going out it great fun on occaision and college is good for making friends and doing just that, but you're in college to get good grades, and to grow up into the sort of person you want to be, and if that means you wait a bit until you find friends who share your values - and they will be there trust me on this - you'll have a much better time of it. But on the other hand - and you've probably considerred this - simply because people have more "alternative" lifestyles doesn't rule them out as being good friends despite the differences. I'm vehemently anti smoking, anti drugs for myself, but I also have very close friends who feel differently.
Give yourself some time, get meeting people, you won't be the only one like yourself. Once you settle down you'll make really good friends.
xxx

I can relate. My dad is a drug addict and alcoholic so I was never into drinking or smoking either. While it does seem that everyone in college is focused on partying there are probably people like us out there, they are just harder to find.

what would you think If I transfered to a college in my home state where I already knew some people. It's also driving distance home (1 hour 40 minutes). I think that because most of the kids here are from the same place, they were brought up similarly and have more in common. I kind of do want to switch....

thats awesome dude, dont follow the trend of being in college. Drinking, partying, and being wild is all cuz everyone thinks thats what they have to do to fit in . I never went to college im 20 and i'd be like you also, i mean im a social person and have good friends, but you know..... I hATE Parties and i hate drinking, drugs...I like to just relax and chill. And some of my friends are like what you describe, always wanting to drink everynight and act like if they drink its the only way they'll have fun. F THAT :wave: When i go to parties, they sometimes will try to get me to drink, but it wotn happen and i hate when people do that, like why do i have to drink to have fun, they think since im not drunk like them im not having a good time

I think you should talk to the resident director of your dorm on how you feel about the situation. They are trained to deal with anxieties like yours. They also may know students who are feeling the same as you about partying and drinking, and can possibly point you to them. They can also point out school activities that are designed to meet other students. Colleges have a lot of those at the beginnings of the term. Once classes begin, concentrate on your studies. That may help take your mind off of things, and you'll be the one with the A's while all the partiers have the F's. If it gets worse, find out where the student counceling center is.

I think you should give your school a chance at least till the end of the term. You may find you like it after all when you meet more people.

Remember, you are not the only one who feels like you do. I'd bet there are many students at your college who are having anxiety about being away from home. Say hello to eveyone you meet.

Well, I have to tell you I have been there before so I know how your feeling. Trust me their are alot of people who are just like you. It's normal, maybe you just have better interests in other things to do besides party,smoke,drink ect. It is true most young adults wannna experience all those things but some just don't have any interest in them. First day of college,high school,pre-school,start of a new job is normally not always the greatest day but you will begin to have better and happier days. You will meet alot of new friends or even if it's just 1 thats all that matters b/c 1 is better than none. Just remember everyone is different is just b/c you are doesn't mean your not normal.

There are people like you out there. I am one of 'em. I searched for people like you and myself and met a few. Some religious, some not.

I certainly wish there were more of us, tho...You just have to go out and make your own fun...and sooner or later, others will follow!

and i have been thru four years of college and then some so i ve been in your shoes.

Hi --

Maybe you should give it a little bit longer before you decide to transfer colleges. I graduated from college last year and it took me awhile to settle in. I didn't really like it at first (wanted to be back with what was familiar -- my old friends, etc), but after a few months I got used to things and met some cool people. Also, isn't one of reasons you go to college to meet different people and experience new things (not necessarily drugs and booze)? Just because people get drunk etc. doesn't mean that they're bad people or that you won't be able to get along with them. People drink for different reasons. Some might just enjoy it. Some might be doing it because they feel nervous and anxious. Some might be doing it just to "fit in". I drank loads when I was at college; but that was (partly) because of my mental health problems. What I'm trying to say is don't dismiss people just because they drink. People who get drunk etc. aren't necessarily all just irresponsible party animals who don't care about their grades. I was a party animal, but I was also a vegan, read books all of the time and didn't want to fail. So, maybe you should give these people who like to drink etc. a chance and try to get to know them. I'm not being critical (if you really hate being around these sorts of people, then transfer -- although the next college you go to might be the same (I think people booze a lot at most colleges)), just giving you an alternative point of view.

Best,

Dave_81