u2fran
06-01-2003, 06:17 PM
Hi all. I have been terribly depressed and also extremely anxious. Been alone for 5 days now and I almost have lost my voice from talking to myself. I still see my fiance, who has to go back to Canada, if I don't marry him before August. Last week my dog got lose and pooped on the lawn in this mobile home park where I live, and the manager started yelling at me. After that I started yelling at no one and almost was in a rage. Things are getting hard for me to cope with. I turned down a job interview even, and my ssi only covers my bills, so I've been scrimping on groceries. My fiance expects me to marry him, and live in my mobile for 2 months alone, after the marriage, while he gets his citizenship straightend out and finds a house to live in 100 miles away from here. I had decided not to get married, but I have been going back and forth trying to decide all over again. Also I broke some glasses and coffee cups last week, just tossed then in the sink with glass flying! And was yelling at the walls about my problems. I'm hoping to calm down soon, because I am taking my meds. Another thing I sleep too much during the day and I do stay up late, but still sleep alot. I just needed to vent and I hope everyone else is doing well.. I know things will get better..thanks for reading this..bi-polar is hard to handle sometimes...
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ioansmison
06-01-2003, 06:21 PM
tell me about!!!... sounds rough... let's all stick together!!!
rsg
06-02-2003, 03:28 PM
Have you tried lose dose of seroquel for your anger, it has saved a few kitchen chairs in my house...LOL
HoosierBj
06-02-2003, 04:29 PM
Hello old Friend! Seems to me you are still doing a GREAT job at surviving no matter what life is throwing your way...
And I'm proudest of you for the yelling part (I'm sure Katie Couric would agree with me) because sometimes that's the only way depression can stay "the right side out".
I do wish I could mret your boyfriend, it would be alot easier to get a feel for whether he's more on the good side than the bad (being in love with him makes it much tougher to be objective!).
Change is one of the worst things for us, you know? In comes depresssion (or mania), definitely stress & anxiety. But I think we had talked about weighing which stress is greater. Saying good-by to your boyfriend, or leaving family & friends & familiar surroundings. The decision doesn't get any easier, does it?
If he doesn't gain citizenship by marrying you, couldn't you two take a breather while he moves up there - and maybe if the relationship turns out to be the right decision you can move up there and have dual Canadian/American citizenship?
In the meantime, I know that the stress of deciding is driving you crazy (no pun intended!!!)and we'll just all have to get on here in some sort of party line out of the 50's-60's to support you.
Is there anything that would really do you good? We could have a "virtual slumber party" right here online!!
Check back soon - wear your bunny slippers!
Bj
And I'm proudest of you for the yelling part (I'm sure Katie Couric would agree with me) because sometimes that's the only way depression can stay "the right side out".
I do wish I could mret your boyfriend, it would be alot easier to get a feel for whether he's more on the good side than the bad (being in love with him makes it much tougher to be objective!).
Change is one of the worst things for us, you know? In comes depresssion (or mania), definitely stress & anxiety. But I think we had talked about weighing which stress is greater. Saying good-by to your boyfriend, or leaving family & friends & familiar surroundings. The decision doesn't get any easier, does it?
If he doesn't gain citizenship by marrying you, couldn't you two take a breather while he moves up there - and maybe if the relationship turns out to be the right decision you can move up there and have dual Canadian/American citizenship?
In the meantime, I know that the stress of deciding is driving you crazy (no pun intended!!!)and we'll just all have to get on here in some sort of party line out of the 50's-60's to support you.
Is there anything that would really do you good? We could have a "virtual slumber party" right here online!!
Check back soon - wear your bunny slippers!
Bj
u2fran
06-03-2003, 03:33 PM
Hi u all. Thanks for the good advice. The input is very appreciated. The decision I have to make is greatly contributing to my disorder, and it's good to have advice and to have an outlet...If I stay where I'm at it could be easier to cope with...and if my fiance marries me and gets citizenship, I'll have to move to a new town and make many changes.. I'm gonna sleep on it...when I'm able to sleep and a virtual slumber party sounds like fun.lol I go to my doc on thursday and maybe she can suggest a new med, or something.. I'm not sure about seroquel, cause I tried it before and got more anxious..and I'm considering using plastic cups and glasses.lol.. Thanks for the advice rsg and BJ and I forgot how the spell the other person's handle. I do think that POLL is a good idea..Hope u all are doing good...
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Fran Cannon
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Fran Cannon
u2fran
06-03-2003, 03:41 PM
Originally posted by u2fran:
Hi u all. Thanks for the good advice. The input is very appreciated. The decision I have to make is greatly contributing to my disorder, and it's good to have advice and to have an outlet...If I stay where I'm at it could be easier to cope with...and if my fiance marries me and gets citizenship, I'll have to move to a new town and make many changes.. I'm gonna sleep on it...when I'm able to sleep and a virtual slumber party sounds like fun.lol I go to my doc on thursday and maybe she can suggest a new med, or something.. I'm not sure about seroquel, cause I tried it before and got more anxious..and I'm considering using plastic cups and glasses.lol.. Thanks for the advice rsg and BJ and I forgot how the spell the other person's handle. I do think that POLL is a good idea..Hope u all are doing good...
Losing my fiance would be like depression and marring him would be like a bit of mania...
Hi u all. Thanks for the good advice. The input is very appreciated. The decision I have to make is greatly contributing to my disorder, and it's good to have advice and to have an outlet...If I stay where I'm at it could be easier to cope with...and if my fiance marries me and gets citizenship, I'll have to move to a new town and make many changes.. I'm gonna sleep on it...when I'm able to sleep and a virtual slumber party sounds like fun.lol I go to my doc on thursday and maybe she can suggest a new med, or something.. I'm not sure about seroquel, cause I tried it before and got more anxious..and I'm considering using plastic cups and glasses.lol.. Thanks for the advice rsg and BJ and I forgot how the spell the other person's handle. I do think that POLL is a good idea..Hope u all are doing good...
Losing my fiance would be like depression and marring him would be like a bit of mania...
HoosierBj
06-03-2003, 10:37 PM
Ah, the life and times of being bi-polar, huh?
Hey U2, what happens if he goes back to Canada, unmarried, you stay where you are, and you give the relationship a year from a just bit of a distance before making such big changes?
Me: Virtual Fritos, virtual Amaretto, virtual pizza!
Hey U2, what happens if he goes back to Canada, unmarried, you stay where you are, and you give the relationship a year from a just bit of a distance before making such big changes?
Me: Virtual Fritos, virtual Amaretto, virtual pizza!
u2fran
06-04-2003, 03:49 AM
Hi BJ, the virtual amaretto is yummy.lol The problem with him going back to Canada, unmarried ,is that he told me I probably wouldn't see him again, cause he'd be on some waiting list to renew his work visa, and it could take 1 or 2 years. I guess he wouldn't want to wait that long :(. Getting married would be alot easier for him, and I guess he doesn't understand the stress and anxiety that this situation is causing, or bi-polar disorder in general. Men! Can't live with or without em. This is just a decision that I probably will not make. I will probably wait til the last minute and then chicken out. Common sense and good judgement is hard to use sometimes, when I really love somebody. I still don't quite understand it, and it is hard to cope with, and I know alot of people with bi-polar have hard times coping with life decisions...