Please advise me. My husband has been diagnosed Bi-Polar. When he has an episode which seems more often he gets very verbally abusive,sometimes he scares me. This hurts me terrible and I get very angry at him, I feel he is doing this to hurt me for some unknown cause, I don't know how to handle him, sometimes I feel like just "checking out" to get back at him and cause him some pain. He will apologize and try to makeup, but I have a hard time letting go of the anger I feel toward him. Does he mean the terrible things he says? Why does mental illnesses bring out the worse in people. Just can't love him or support him enough. I feel like a failure. Please help.

[This message has been edited by AnnieMae (edited 06-05-2003).]

Is your husband currently medicated? That could play a role. Before I was put on the right kinds of medications, I would say mean and inciteful things to my wife. I don't know why, and I sure didn't mean any of it. I was just grouchy I guess.

Don't feel like a failure, you're doing all you can! It's hard when the one you love spits venom your way. I know because I did this to my wife for no particular reason .... she didn't deserve it.

Just know that more than likely it is the bipolar talking. I hope this helps.

Thanks Stompin Sam for your reply, yes he is on medication, he goes to the local Mental Health Clinic. He is taking Prozac & a mood stablization drug. Since you stated you treated your wife this way, what would she do, how did she handle it. What should I do when he tears into me for no logical reason, If i argue back or defend myself, well Heaven Help me.Let me also say, most of the time he really is a very loving person and attentive to me & a lot of fun. We go bowling alot, he really enjoys it. His job is very stressful, construction, seems like when he gets very tired or stressout, he has these mood changes.

[This message has been edited by AnnieMae (edited 06-05-2003).]