Two years ago my mom started acting really strange and thought we were all trying to make her crazy. To make a long story short, after 9 months of what I thought was h***, I lost my husband to sudden cardiac death. I was a 35 yr old widow with a ten year old daughter, and two months later I had to have my mother involuntarily committed where she was diagnosed with bipolar. She is great when she takes her meds but she hates them. I think she has stopped completely now and I am afraid we are headed back to hell. The problem is I have always been the one my family looks to for support and I just don't think I can do it again. After going through what was basically the loss of my husband and my mother in such a short period of time I don't have the energy or the patience. Is it common for bipolars to attempt to stop all meds without their doctors knowledge? It's like she gets to feeling good so she thinks she doesn't need it anymore. It never occurs to her she feels good because she is taking it.

Thanks for letting a new girl sound off.

Originally posted by PrinterInk:
Two years ago my mom started acting really strange and thought we were all trying to make her crazy. To make a long story short, after 9 months of what I thought was h***, I lost my husband to sudden cardiac death. I was a 35 yr old widow with a ten year old daughter, and two months later I had to have my mother involuntarily committed where she was diagnosed with bipolar. She is great when she takes her meds but she hates them. I think she has stopped completely now and I am afraid we are headed back to hell. The problem is I have always been the one my family looks to for support and I just don't think I can do it again. After going through what was basically the loss of my husband and my mother in such a short period of time I don't have the energy or the patience. Is it common for bipolars to attempt to stop all meds without their doctors knowledge? It's like she gets to feeling good so she thinks she doesn't need it anymore. It never occurs to her she feels good because she is taking it.

Thanks for letting a new girl sound off.

Hi PrinterInk,
I am sorry to hear about your mom and your husband. And yes, it is very common for people who are in their "manic" state, not to want to take their medications anymore. They feel they have no use for them anymore..they are feeling "on top of the world". Does your mother believe that she actually has bi-polar disease and just doesn't want to take the medication? Or is she in denial of the disease itself. Sounds to me as if she might need some psychotherapy to help her understand the illness and how important it is to take her medication on a regular basis.

Welcome to the board, good luck and keep us posted.

LB



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When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.

Hi, I am new here too, and your story sounds very sad, you have had alot of loss .

My mother committed suicide when she was 35, I was only 18 , that was back in 1985. She was most likely Bipolar but I wouldnt have known it back then, and medical records I am sure are hard to come by. THe doctor she used before she died got in trouble for giving out prescriptions of narcotics etc. and he kept her supplied with them for years. She was addicted to pain pills and muscle relaxers.

I was the one who took her pills away, I was the one who held her hand as they pumped her stomach,all the ER trips, and I was the one who was "mom" while she was away for a "nervous breakdown".

I hated my mom durning this time. Right before she died , she had been off drugs for 5 months... and I do think she never was diagnosed bipolar but I am , as well as my son, most likely we are watching him.

I also had a cousin who committed suicide a couple of years ago, my mom's sisters' son......so it has to run in families, if ya ask me.

God,I just wish I had known back then what I know now about this illness. About my mom. SO many things I would say to her, and to hear her laugh at how much I am like her , even thou I never wanted to be. I see now , she was a good person, sick at times, but she deserved better, from those around her, but I was too young to know any better.

Just love your mom, take her to the doctor, commit her if you have to, just know to do what you can. I really did all I could short of being there the night my mom killed herself. WE were to met the next morning to talk, and I had just gotten off the phone with her at 11 pm.........just a few hours and she was gone. I know there was nothing eles I could have done, even if I would have that nite, there would have been another nite.

Just saying do what you can, and pray , and let her know you love her everyday.

I think she may be in denial of the disease itself. When I had to take Celexa for about a year after my husband died she thought her situation would be the same; she could take meds for awhile and eventually get off them and be okay. My Dad called today and said she called from work crying, screaming and cussing then told him to make her an appointment with our family Dr. to get Xanax or something like that. She has only taken about 1/2 her regular meds in the past month. She is back to the stage now where she thinks everyone is out to get her.
Thanks for your replies, it is very hard to not talk to someone and I try to keep from worrying my daughter any more than necessary.

i just wanted to reply to your post. don't really have any encouraging words, but i can understand where you're at. my mom is also a bi-polar, but she stays on her meds. she does pretty good at times, but gets very suicidal at times. we are going through one of those times right now. she is having alot of problems, and although she is still on her meds, i don't think they are working too good, because she is real down and talking about how she's tired of everything and threatening her life. i, too, am like the one everyone comes to for support, i have to be the strong one, and have been able to be that up until a few months ago.... now i need someone to be strong for me, but don't have anyone. my father died when i was young, and it gets harder with each year that passes. my mom is all the family i have (other than my 2 brothers, my 2 kids, and my niece and nephew), i truely don't think i could handle my mom taking her life, i think that would be what makes me crack. i'm barely holding on now, another disaster would drive me insane. sorry i rambled.... i hope things get easier with you, your mom, and your family. i know how hard things like this can be. good luck, and God bless!

[This message has been edited by NotMyselfLately (edited 06-04-2003).]

Yes it is very common I hate taking meds all the time I am 36 and when I am in mania I think I can stop taking these I'm fine and also weight is another issue most the meds make you gain weight. I am sorry about the loss of you husband. if I love mine I am sure I would end up committed and my kids living the his parents. Are you close enough to other family you can ask for help?

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whiskey

NotMyselfLately
Thanks for your reply, I am very sorry to hear your mom is having a hard time. I guess I am luckier than I think since my mom hasn't gotten suicidal yet. I have discovered through all of this that we are alot stronger than we think when we have to be. My mom was 14 when I was born so we pretty much grew up together. When I lost my husband I thought I would never get through it without her, but her illness caused her to actually turn against me for a while. They were very close and she couldn't handle the things she had said to him during the last few months of his life. You mentioned you have 2 children, for me the only thing that keeps me from going insane with all this is my daughter. I hope things get better for you and yours.

Whiskey, yes I do talk to my dad about all of this. We are the ones who had her committed before, my brother and sister just aren't strong enough. I was afraid she would hate me forever but I knew it would be worth it if she just got help. They had her on several meds at first but she stopped taking them one at a time. She always said they made her not care about cleaning house or anything.(you can eat off her floors) I think she needs some kind of regular therapy schedule but when she got out of the hospital she went about 3 times and quit that too.