Well,here i am again .My daughter is back at home from her trip to the hospital. Her outside theraphy is with our citys mental health clinic.The doctors there have done more tests on her and have decided she has BPD with anti-social disorder.She acts before she thinks of the result or consequences of her actions.They still have her on Adderal ,Zyprexz,Celexa,and Depakote. She can be so wonderful and fun to be with ,then a curtain comes down and life to her is not worth living .She begins to get angry ,demanding and so loud ,I think during these episodes she thinks ,I'm hard of hearing .I love her so much but am getting to wonder how to help her .Each place she goes or each Doctor that treats and tests her gives me a different answer ,I am beginning to wonder if she has it all.This one BPD .He says has no meds to help with .She will spend her life in theraphy if she lives long enough .2 suicide attempts have my nerves tore up .I don't want to lose her ,especially like that .She is also a SM,she has cut her stomach until it looks as if shes been in a knife fight .Now she has horrible cigerette burns on her upper arms .She says it doesn't hurt when she does it .How can that be? She is only 13.She has been given a beautiful singing voice ,but even her songs are sad and bizarre .I guess to her it's her way of release .I'm sorry for jumping from thing to thing but my mind is moving fast less I forget something ,maybe someone may know what to do to help her.So far to write all her diagnoes are :ADHD,ODD,Bi-polar 2 with psychotic features,Mood swings,Borderline Personality Disorder ,Anti-Social Disorders,Self-mutilater.How can 1 teen-age girl have so much pain inside?
Thanks for letting me put this in writing .No one here really understands,so I don't talk about it to others in the family or out .Family want me to put her in a group home.I think that would finish her off.
Thanks again


Keri