as some of you may know... ihaven't been on my drugs lately...been improvising... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tongue.gif a few days ago, i was incrdeinbly smart and good at everything...still am... HA!!! but for the past day or so, without any sleep and minimal food have been VERY APATHETIC AND DEAD INSIDE.. anyone relate?

Don't want to take my seroquel, then that means the day is over and my sleep is different. In the past 2 weeks, I guess I thought it was a good idea to smoke in bed, without an ashtray; and fall asleep..I have ruined two kingsized quilts.....but if I dont take it...I am afraid of psychotic episodes like I had in the hospital after my surgery in April.But the seroquel gets rid of the ANGER side of mania, I don't mind the depakote, the klonopin has NO effect on me at all, I was goin great until tonight, nothing happened, my great mood just ended., why? Is there anything med to help me?Nothing else seems to.Dead inside I can relate. Rhonda

I can most certianly relate to an empty dead feeling inside lately. I try to fight it. It seems like it is part of the depression, but I also feel lonely, anxious and stressed along with it. Sometimes when I listen to music I like, or hug my dog, or go for a drive , it goes away for a little while. But job searching, and grocery shopping and bills and worrying about important decisions, seem to cause the anxiety to turn into frustration which seems to cause the empty feelings. Lithobid doesn't seem to make me feel any better, even though it keeps me from mania, but ativan and sonata don't seem to do anything for me anymore. I know that there is always hope for anyone with that empty dead feeling. Because the only way you can go, when your down and depressed is back up again. A pscyciatrist told me that one time. So hug your pets, listen to some good music, or do something fun, that used to make you feel better ect...it might help http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

thanks luv http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif

Depakote is supposed to have a small effect on the pulling up the depression, I am going to ask about the new knid, DepakoteER on next visit, supposed to clear out of the liver quicker and work even better with less weight gain. my depression has lifted a bit for NO apparent reason, I hate this disease up / down. Social /hermit. What gives?? I'll learn I guess, I have only been truly diagnosed for almost three months, anger hatrid and rage drove me to a pdoc for help. Because I was already taking 100 of Zoloft and I knew this couldn't be right....I was right, the Zoloft had put me sooo manic I was at the RAGE point

rsg, how old are you?