This is my first time writing on here. I need some direction, and didn't know where else to turn. I am 31 y/o, and my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 2 years. At the age of 19 I found out that I had PCOS, after having complications from my 1st and only child from a previous marriage. Knowing that there would be complications with conception on my part, my husband and I sought professional help. About one year ago we found out that his sperm count is drastically low. We have done two IUI treatments since december with no success. Now our only options are IVF, or a sperm donor. My husband isn't willing to spend the money on IVF, even though we have been offered to have all of the meds donated to us. And he definately won't go for a donor. He isn't a very supportive individual, and I feel like I am dealing with this all by myself. He isn't even coming to the doctor's appointments anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like there is a very large wall in front of me, and I can't break it down. It is very frusturating, and it is getting depressing. Our relationship is starting to suffer because of it. Where do I go from here?

i am so sorry i dont know what to tell you, i know first hand that IF affects both men and women, and we need eachother to get through it. my dh has a lot of mf issues and i know it " hurts his ego" so every1 in a while i gotta pick him back up.. but without "eachother" we get nowhere... have u and ur dh ever thought of talking to someone?? maybe u can get to the root of why he is not supporting u, maybe he can not handle handle knowing his counts are so low, and this is his reaction?? well, u guys def need eachother, and i hope u work things out, bc us women cant do it alone! it def takes 2 physically and emotionally!! good luck and us women here will be here for u as much as u need... :angel: :angel: s but i will be praying for u and dh!!!

I am sorry you are going through this hard time by yourself. The bottom line is, you will need your DH to go through these procedures, so something will have to be done to get him to support you and your efforts to have a child. There is more than likely an underlying cause for his unsupportive attitude and you will probably need professional help to find out what that cause it. I'm sorry to tell you that if he is not a very supportive individual in general, you may have other issues to be worked out before you can work on having a child. You will NEED every ounce of his support through this process - it is GRUELING emotionally and physically. Not something that can be done with a partner that is un-supportive or un-interested in achieving the same goal as you. I'm so sorry if this sounds harsh - I don't mean to be harsh, just being honest. I know that I couldn't and wouldn't get through all of this without my husband - he's my best friend and we are going through this 100% TOGETHER - that's not saying that he gets as upset as I do when we get BFN, but I think most ladies on here will tell you that they feel like they are more emotionally connected to this process than DH - becuase you are the one going through the physical and emotional part- DH goes through the emotional. You need a support system and it should start with your DH. I hope you find answers that you are looking for and can continue your quest for a baby. Best of luck to you and your DH. My prayers are with you. Keep us posted!

~ravae