My 60 year old Mother has dementia and has had for 5 years. Its to the point that shes becoming aggressive and combative. She still communicates ok, but is accusing everybody of conspiring against her, tries to leave, cries, has tantrums. Its really quite sad to watch.

The Dr. didnt want to put her on any anti-aggressive medication (?) because he wanted to review all of her tests from the neuro. I need to know what to do, should I go to a different Doctor (mom has several) and ask?

What is everybody elses loved ones on for this type of behavior? She already takes wellbutrin XL 150mg in the morning.

Also she goes to her Sister's house 1-2x week so my Dad can get a break and she was telling my Aunts that my Dad beats her (NOT TRUE!), and that my Dad locks her in the attic with 3 other black girls (hilarious, also obviously not true!). My Aunt called social services on my Dad... you know the ol' sister in law that never liked my Dad. We had a big mess and had to explain that my Mom is making up stories and demented. My mom also tells people shes pregnant with twins. Finally my other Aunt stayed with my parents for a week and couldnt believe the stuff my mom would make up, and cleared it up with the rest of the family.

I never knew there was so much politics involved with dementia/alz!! lol. I cant believe my Aunt actually believed my Mom and called a social worker, who by the way, was NOT very pleasant...lol.

What happens when patients/loved ones start getting really demented? Whats the names of a few medications so I can ask the Dr. and seem that I know what Im talking about?

My MIL is on Aricept and Seroquel. Her main problems are memory and sundowning, and these do seem to help.

I would get with one of her docs (neuro, psych, internist) and get her on some meds ASAP -- it's not going to get any better until she gets on meds.

This is such a AWFUL disease!!!

Hi Adidas,

I feel for you. I had my Mom staying with me until she became so aggressive that I had to put her in a "group home," nearby. She does the same thing. Told everyone that I was trying to poison her, refused to eat or take her meds for 3-4 days. Finally slugged me a good one and that's when hubby said........enough....already.

You'll find that lots of people believe them. They can act so normal sometimes that people just can't believe they'd make up such stories. My mom has told multiple friends, from her old neighborhood, terrible stories about me and my brothers; we've put her in prison, stole her money and her car, never come to visit her, just abandoned her. Most know the truth but a few believe her and there really isn't anything you can do to convince those few. It took me a long time to accept that. But it's true.

My mom takes Zoloft in the mornings. But the "home" has a prescription for Lorazepam that they can use as needed. She isn't always aggressive but it usually happens in the late afternoons. I believe Depakote is similar. (not sure of that spelling.)

Be sure to look out for your dad. It's very stressful to deal with them full-time. I'm glad that he gets a break occasionally.

Take care of yourself, also. Glad you found this board. It's so nice to be able to talk to others who totally understand.

Hi - so sorry about your Mom. If I may ask, what were her symptoms in the beginning? She sounds awfully young to have this for 5 years and I was just wondering, as my husband is 58 and is starting to have memory problems and personality changes. I am fearful of this because his Dad has dementia. I need to know what to look for and if this is just older age coming into play, or if it will get worse. I guess only time will tell, but I am trying to find out more about it so I'll know what to look for, expect, etc. Good luck on your search for the right drugs, etc. and keep coming back, this is a great place to vent and find out info from these fine, brave folks. C

Hi Adidas,

I have a husband (44) who has just been diagnosed. We went through some of these same things earlier this year. He was also on Welbutrin at the time. We were told (when we admitted him to a behavioral health ward for a week) that Welbutrin has been known to cause this type of behavior in some people. Of course all of this was before we even thought it could be Alzheimers.

He was put on Seroquel (an anti-psychotic) which did help the delusions. He is now on Clozaril and we have not seen this type of delusional, aggressive behavior for a couple of months now.

Work with her doc to find the right medicine. These are not meds you can stop and start on a dime. You usually have to 'wean' off or the withdrawal can be worse than what you have right now.

Lelore

This really is miserable disease to cope with I call it H-LL on wheels. It causes the most suffering to the caregiver of anything I ever encountered in my 67 years. The most depressing part is that it never gets better, only step by step downhill. How I hope for a pill that can reverse the damage. What a blessing that would be:) , equal to the discovery of penicillin and the Polio vaccine ...

Love,

Martha