April R.
09-02-2006, 08:33 AM
Well, folks.....this is my second attempt to stop smoking in the past year. Today is the day.
I quit for four weeks last September, and then started again. I could give all kinds of excuses as to why I started again; stress, weight gain, depression, more stress, yadda, yadda, YADDA.....but it all boils down to one reason: I was just looking for an excuse to start again.
This time will be different because I am seeking support. I hope to find it here. I hope you people don't grow weary of me, because I plan to post a lot. I may post once an hour to get me through these first few days. I'll probably be very gritchy (a cross between griping and bitching), so please bear with me. I'm sure most of you have been there, done that.
I'm not one to ask for help, and that's probably why I failed the last time. I find I must humble myself to ask for help, so I'm asking.
Please help me get through this.
And when I find I'm over the peak and in the clear, I'm sure I'll stick around and lend support to someone else who needs to rid themselves of this vile, disgusting, expensive habit.
Here's to Day One.
Onward.
I quit for four weeks last September, and then started again. I could give all kinds of excuses as to why I started again; stress, weight gain, depression, more stress, yadda, yadda, YADDA.....but it all boils down to one reason: I was just looking for an excuse to start again.
This time will be different because I am seeking support. I hope to find it here. I hope you people don't grow weary of me, because I plan to post a lot. I may post once an hour to get me through these first few days. I'll probably be very gritchy (a cross between griping and bitching), so please bear with me. I'm sure most of you have been there, done that.
I'm not one to ask for help, and that's probably why I failed the last time. I find I must humble myself to ask for help, so I'm asking.
Please help me get through this.
And when I find I'm over the peak and in the clear, I'm sure I'll stick around and lend support to someone else who needs to rid themselves of this vile, disgusting, expensive habit.
Here's to Day One.
Onward.
Sponsor
mommieoftwo
09-02-2006, 12:02 PM
Good for you and you've come to a good board. I'm on day 13 and have posted and sought help here each day. Even if noone responds to your posts - it feels good to get it out....
mabent
09-02-2006, 01:12 PM
Hi April - I smoked cigarettes for years and had a difficult time (as you are) quitting. I stopped and started again several times before I was finally able to quit for good. I really feel that this time you will succeed! Just think about all the many reasons to get rid of this, as you said "disgusting" habit!
If you could stop for four weeks, then you can stop forever. Don't be concerned about weight gain. The weight will come off as your body gets used to being without nicotine. You will feel so much better and look so much better that the small amount of weight-gain won't matter. I didn't use nicotine gum or patches - I ate lots of carrots and celery and, yes, mints!
I kept telling myself that I didn't want my family and friends pushing me around in a wheelchair with my oxygen tank on my lap. My family would have resented having to do that, since I would have brought it on myself. Even if you were spared lung cancer, you would surely get pulmonary disease!
And businesses, hospitals, stores, friends, have made it extremely inconvenient to be a smoker. That's just a few of the reasons to quit...good luck! :)
If you could stop for four weeks, then you can stop forever. Don't be concerned about weight gain. The weight will come off as your body gets used to being without nicotine. You will feel so much better and look so much better that the small amount of weight-gain won't matter. I didn't use nicotine gum or patches - I ate lots of carrots and celery and, yes, mints!
I kept telling myself that I didn't want my family and friends pushing me around in a wheelchair with my oxygen tank on my lap. My family would have resented having to do that, since I would have brought it on myself. Even if you were spared lung cancer, you would surely get pulmonary disease!
And businesses, hospitals, stores, friends, have made it extremely inconvenient to be a smoker. That's just a few of the reasons to quit...good luck! :)
Deda
09-02-2006, 03:46 PM
Hi April,
Welcome to the board, and good thinking on quitting smoking....it will [definitely] be the best thing you could ever do to improve your health.
I know what you feel like failing your quit...I did that too...many, many times before. I had quit at least 1O times before...and 2 times, I made it past the 1 year mark. Imagine what a failure I felt like then. But I was still young then, 24 the first time I went a year not smoking, and I think 30 the 2nd time.....thought I had a lot of time left to remain healthy. (stupid to think that way!) Finally, 3 years ago, I decided I was going to quit, and make it for good, no matter what....I was ready!!....and ready to fight to get there, :nono: "NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES"....is what I told myself, over and over again.
I quit by using the patches first, and then the gum. (I would not recommend the gum tho to anybody, as it is very addictive too, and I [and my hubby] had a helluva time getting off of that) Some people here quit cold turkey, (I never could), some use hypnosis, Wellbutrin, (Zyban) nicotine replacement therapy, tapering down on their smoking until they're down to 1 or 2 a day, etc. You have to find what works best for YOU, April.
Susan saying she comes here daily is a really good suggestion....I did that too, for at least the first year...(I'm still here a lot)....it really does help you reinforce your resolve to quit smoking, (and keep it)...and like she said, "even if no one responds, it helps to get it out". She is so right....it's kind of like journaling...which can be so therapeutic. And mabent had some great suggestions too....that about picturing herself in a wheelchair w/ an oxygen tank on her lap, being pushed around by family members...that was good. I did that too....whenever you want a cig, think horrid thoughts like that....it's quite a diversion....and so true, that that may really be the case someday...if you don't quit now.
Keep hanging around here, April, and we'll all try to help support you all we can. You CAN do it. You did do it for 4 weeks..so you CAN do it!!!
Best of luck to you!
Deda
Welcome to the board, and good thinking on quitting smoking....it will [definitely] be the best thing you could ever do to improve your health.
I know what you feel like failing your quit...I did that too...many, many times before. I had quit at least 1O times before...and 2 times, I made it past the 1 year mark. Imagine what a failure I felt like then. But I was still young then, 24 the first time I went a year not smoking, and I think 30 the 2nd time.....thought I had a lot of time left to remain healthy. (stupid to think that way!) Finally, 3 years ago, I decided I was going to quit, and make it for good, no matter what....I was ready!!....and ready to fight to get there, :nono: "NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES"....is what I told myself, over and over again.
I quit by using the patches first, and then the gum. (I would not recommend the gum tho to anybody, as it is very addictive too, and I [and my hubby] had a helluva time getting off of that) Some people here quit cold turkey, (I never could), some use hypnosis, Wellbutrin, (Zyban) nicotine replacement therapy, tapering down on their smoking until they're down to 1 or 2 a day, etc. You have to find what works best for YOU, April.
Susan saying she comes here daily is a really good suggestion....I did that too, for at least the first year...(I'm still here a lot)....it really does help you reinforce your resolve to quit smoking, (and keep it)...and like she said, "even if no one responds, it helps to get it out". She is so right....it's kind of like journaling...which can be so therapeutic. And mabent had some great suggestions too....that about picturing herself in a wheelchair w/ an oxygen tank on her lap, being pushed around by family members...that was good. I did that too....whenever you want a cig, think horrid thoughts like that....it's quite a diversion....and so true, that that may really be the case someday...if you don't quit now.
Keep hanging around here, April, and we'll all try to help support you all we can. You CAN do it. You did do it for 4 weeks..so you CAN do it!!!
Best of luck to you!
Deda
April R.
09-02-2006, 05:10 PM
Susan - Wow! Day Thirteen!! WOO HOO! That's fabulous! Thanks for the encouraging words. You're correct....even if no one responds, at least I can journal here. In fact, I've opened a new thread where I will journal daily about quitting and how I feel.
mabent - you bring up a good point about failing health and being a burden on family members. I would hate that. I would really, really hate that. Especially since I would have brought it all upon myself by not taking action and quitting. Thanks for your encouragement.
Deda - I, too, tried the gum to quit once and it was simply vile. I hated it and just used it one day and then switched to the patch. I can do it this time. I'm sure of it. I didn't have support last time from people who knew what it felt like to quit (no one else at home here smokes), but I found you wonderful people and I know that I can do this!
Thank you!
mabent - you bring up a good point about failing health and being a burden on family members. I would hate that. I would really, really hate that. Especially since I would have brought it all upon myself by not taking action and quitting. Thanks for your encouragement.
Deda - I, too, tried the gum to quit once and it was simply vile. I hated it and just used it one day and then switched to the patch. I can do it this time. I'm sure of it. I didn't have support last time from people who knew what it felt like to quit (no one else at home here smokes), but I found you wonderful people and I know that I can do this!
Thank you!
Deda
09-04-2006, 12:20 AM
Susan - Deda - I didn't have support last time from people who knew what it felt like to quit (no one else at home here smokes), but I found you wonderful people and I know that I can do this!
Thank you!
April....
No need to worry...you have plenty of support here. Actually, you are very lucky that no one smokes at home. Believe me...it would be much, much tougher to quit if there were. I think I might have quit many, many years ago, had my hubby not been a stubborn smoker. :mad: It wasn't until he quit for good that I was able to.
Hope you're doing well today. Post here whenever you need support...anytime...a few times a day if you need to at first.
Deda
Thank you!
April....
No need to worry...you have plenty of support here. Actually, you are very lucky that no one smokes at home. Believe me...it would be much, much tougher to quit if there were. I think I might have quit many, many years ago, had my hubby not been a stubborn smoker. :mad: It wasn't until he quit for good that I was able to.
Hope you're doing well today. Post here whenever you need support...anytime...a few times a day if you need to at first.
Deda
stevie_23
09-04-2006, 04:15 AM
GOOD FOR YOU! And yeah, if you can stop for a month, you can stop forever...but see, if you can stop for 3 days, you can stop forever...basically what I'm saying is if you WANT to stop, you CAN. Forever.
I smoked for over 5 years, over a pack a day (25-30 cigs) and then just stopped. No patches, no pills, no support. Nothing. And yeah sure, I was irritable for the first few days. I felt I had bugs crawling on my skin for the first night, I was SO restless. I was depressed and felt incredibly deprived. Then angry that I had this hole in my soul that couldn't be filled anymore...
But at the same time, I never even considered starting again. I felt like I missed the cigarettes physically for less than a week, and emotionally for several months....every now and then I still feel the urge, but push it aside and then quickly forget about it. It's been a year and 2 months since I quit.
Why did you want to quit? (I say did as opposed to do, as you've already quit) Did you feel this constant underlying guilt or fear about smoking while you were doing it? Like, "I'll quit when I'm..." (insert appropriate far away age) I know I did...
I think a few things really made me able to just stop for good...I know I'll never smoke again, simply because I see now that there is absolutely no point in doing so.
1. The physical addiction is already gone (in your situation anyway), so...apart from this, what is the point of smoking? Someone who has never smoked in their life wouldn't smoke, would they? Why? Because they'd get nothing from it. Nothing at all.
2. The emotional "addiction" will always be there, if you think of it as an addiction. It's not really. It's simply that over many years, you've come to associate pleasant physical and/or emotional feelings (relaxation, relief from stress, pleasant social gatherings etc), with the act of smoking. But really...all you've been doing is sticking a tube of tobacco and other horrible and dangerous chemicals in your mouth and inhaling the smoke. This alone does NOT make you feel ANYTHING. And you know this, or you'd not have quit I think.
3. I miss it sometimes but only because of this association. I miss sitting on the balcony at night with my partner having our "ciggies"...I miss supposedly improving my favourite TV programs with several smoke breaks in the commercials...but really, I mean...how is it improving anything? I could still sit out on the balcony now. I just don't. I don't need the stick of death for that.
4. If you start again, you know that you're just going to end up right back where you are right now, but on top of it, you'll feel guilt and annoyance at yourself for having "failed" (which you really won't have by the way. Any attempt is commendable and the simple act of quitting and WANTING to change your life for the better means you've not failed already). But why waste time and just start all over again? You've already quit, and there's no reason to go back now.
5. Logically, smoking is like wearing an incredibly painful pair of shoes only to feel the pleasant relief when you can finally take them off. The whole entire time you're not actively smoking (except maybe for 30-60 mins immediately after the last cigarette you have) your body and also thus your mind are craving it. So when you finally have one, it's a relief. And that's all it is. Once you lose the cravings (emotionally for you now. No longer physical), you would be silly to put on those killer pair of shoes for no reason apart from taking them off again, eh?
I can't think of anything else to say now and I'm babbled on enough.
Come back and post whenever you want! And GOOD FOR YOU!
I smoked for over 5 years, over a pack a day (25-30 cigs) and then just stopped. No patches, no pills, no support. Nothing. And yeah sure, I was irritable for the first few days. I felt I had bugs crawling on my skin for the first night, I was SO restless. I was depressed and felt incredibly deprived. Then angry that I had this hole in my soul that couldn't be filled anymore...
But at the same time, I never even considered starting again. I felt like I missed the cigarettes physically for less than a week, and emotionally for several months....every now and then I still feel the urge, but push it aside and then quickly forget about it. It's been a year and 2 months since I quit.
Why did you want to quit? (I say did as opposed to do, as you've already quit) Did you feel this constant underlying guilt or fear about smoking while you were doing it? Like, "I'll quit when I'm..." (insert appropriate far away age) I know I did...
I think a few things really made me able to just stop for good...I know I'll never smoke again, simply because I see now that there is absolutely no point in doing so.
1. The physical addiction is already gone (in your situation anyway), so...apart from this, what is the point of smoking? Someone who has never smoked in their life wouldn't smoke, would they? Why? Because they'd get nothing from it. Nothing at all.
2. The emotional "addiction" will always be there, if you think of it as an addiction. It's not really. It's simply that over many years, you've come to associate pleasant physical and/or emotional feelings (relaxation, relief from stress, pleasant social gatherings etc), with the act of smoking. But really...all you've been doing is sticking a tube of tobacco and other horrible and dangerous chemicals in your mouth and inhaling the smoke. This alone does NOT make you feel ANYTHING. And you know this, or you'd not have quit I think.
3. I miss it sometimes but only because of this association. I miss sitting on the balcony at night with my partner having our "ciggies"...I miss supposedly improving my favourite TV programs with several smoke breaks in the commercials...but really, I mean...how is it improving anything? I could still sit out on the balcony now. I just don't. I don't need the stick of death for that.
4. If you start again, you know that you're just going to end up right back where you are right now, but on top of it, you'll feel guilt and annoyance at yourself for having "failed" (which you really won't have by the way. Any attempt is commendable and the simple act of quitting and WANTING to change your life for the better means you've not failed already). But why waste time and just start all over again? You've already quit, and there's no reason to go back now.
5. Logically, smoking is like wearing an incredibly painful pair of shoes only to feel the pleasant relief when you can finally take them off. The whole entire time you're not actively smoking (except maybe for 30-60 mins immediately after the last cigarette you have) your body and also thus your mind are craving it. So when you finally have one, it's a relief. And that's all it is. Once you lose the cravings (emotionally for you now. No longer physical), you would be silly to put on those killer pair of shoes for no reason apart from taking them off again, eh?
I can't think of anything else to say now and I'm babbled on enough.
Come back and post whenever you want! And GOOD FOR YOU!
mommieoftwo
09-04-2006, 11:19 AM
I enjoyed reading that Stevie - makes sense to me.
stevie_23
09-05-2006, 03:14 AM
Thanks Susan!! Good to hear it makes sense. LOL. I think it does. It's worked for me anyway...I mean, we already know all of what I said, we're not stupid, but...yeah. You just have to start really believing it and sort of shift your attitude towards that sort of thinking instead of living in this sort of partial constant denial about smoking. Ugh.
And things like the money savings and health benefits and also the lighter feel about you physically as well as emotionally/mentally when you no longer have that distant or not so distant fear of what you're actually doing to yourself, they are really bonuses to quitting...
The real purpose of quitting is to just stop the stupidity really. It's like, the emptiness you feel when you no longer have cigarettes to turn to in moments of stress or relaxation, etc, it IS real, but you've manufactured it in yourself. Continuing to smoke is really just keeping up this self-made hole to fill...it really is like the shoe analogy. You smoke, then soon you feel discomfort and pain when you don't/can't smoke, so you smoke again...relief. And your brain associates the relief with the cigarette, but it's really that you've just made yourself uncomfortable physically by smoking and it's so ironic that only smoking again can "fix" that. So...you know, if you just STOP, well...you've broken the discomfort/relief cycle. You won't feel relief all the time, and I did miss that "pleasant" feeling of the relief for a while, but really...what is it? It doesn't exist.
And things like the money savings and health benefits and also the lighter feel about you physically as well as emotionally/mentally when you no longer have that distant or not so distant fear of what you're actually doing to yourself, they are really bonuses to quitting...
The real purpose of quitting is to just stop the stupidity really. It's like, the emptiness you feel when you no longer have cigarettes to turn to in moments of stress or relaxation, etc, it IS real, but you've manufactured it in yourself. Continuing to smoke is really just keeping up this self-made hole to fill...it really is like the shoe analogy. You smoke, then soon you feel discomfort and pain when you don't/can't smoke, so you smoke again...relief. And your brain associates the relief with the cigarette, but it's really that you've just made yourself uncomfortable physically by smoking and it's so ironic that only smoking again can "fix" that. So...you know, if you just STOP, well...you've broken the discomfort/relief cycle. You won't feel relief all the time, and I did miss that "pleasant" feeling of the relief for a while, but really...what is it? It doesn't exist.