April R.
09-02-2006, 05:05 PM
Today isn't Day One. Tomorrow will be Day One. I can't really count today as the first day without a cigarette because I had a few this morning. I've decided to use the patch and I intend to use this journal as a crutch instead of the cigarettes.
Feel free to post here in my journal and give me praise when I'm doing well, and a sound conk on the head when I'm not.
Onward...
Feel free to post here in my journal and give me praise when I'm doing well, and a sound conk on the head when I'm not.
Onward...
Sponsor
Deda
09-02-2006, 05:40 PM
Okay April....good luck..you can do this! As an almost 30 year, 1-2 pk a day, stupid, puffing fool, I know if I can, anyone can! :nono: and that's the truth!! :p
I'll for one be checking here every time you post...as I'm sure others will do the same, as well. That's what we're all here for--to support one another.
Good luck tomorrow, and don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask.. or tell us anything, at all. Slap on that patch, and fight those urges with all of your might! Keep your mind as busy as you possibly can...just distract yourself constantly at first...(work, exercise, relaxation, [meditating], and other activities)
Cheers...
Deda
I'll for one be checking here every time you post...as I'm sure others will do the same, as well. That's what we're all here for--to support one another.
Good luck tomorrow, and don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask.. or tell us anything, at all. Slap on that patch, and fight those urges with all of your might! Keep your mind as busy as you possibly can...just distract yourself constantly at first...(work, exercise, relaxation, [meditating], and other activities)
Cheers...
Deda
mommieoftwo
09-02-2006, 06:40 PM
Good luck April! See you tomorrow....
April R.
09-03-2006, 10:32 AM
Day One...
Deda - okay, I slapped on that patch, as you said, and I'm still a bit edgy. More on that later. Thanks for your encouragement. I'm looking forward to you checking in on my progess.
Susan - I'm here and this is Day One. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
I'm feeling all kinds of emotions this morning:
Sadness; because I really do enjoy smoking and I know that I won't be doing that any longer. I have never smoked in the house -- not now, not ever -- why foist my unhealthy habit upon my fellow house dwellers who don't smoke? So, I am sad each time I go outside on the back desk with my cup of coffee that I don't have a lit cigarette in my hand. I feel like I've said goodbye to an old friend.
Anticipation; because I'm looking forward to the change that will happen and am kinda excited about this new venture.
Anxiety; because I really don't know if I can do this.
Resolve; because I really think that I CAN do this.
Edginess; because I am fighting the habit to run out to the back deck and light one up, even though I'm not craving one. It really is just a habit, at this point. I know that the absolute cravings are yet to come, and I really, really dread that.
So, I am running the gamut of emotions just now while I sit here typing this post, and feeling the patch on my arm tingling away. I'm taking deep breaths and my lungs feel tight. I'll be glad when that feeling passes. I've been coughing a lot this morning.
Onward...
Deda - okay, I slapped on that patch, as you said, and I'm still a bit edgy. More on that later. Thanks for your encouragement. I'm looking forward to you checking in on my progess.
Susan - I'm here and this is Day One. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
I'm feeling all kinds of emotions this morning:
Sadness; because I really do enjoy smoking and I know that I won't be doing that any longer. I have never smoked in the house -- not now, not ever -- why foist my unhealthy habit upon my fellow house dwellers who don't smoke? So, I am sad each time I go outside on the back desk with my cup of coffee that I don't have a lit cigarette in my hand. I feel like I've said goodbye to an old friend.
Anticipation; because I'm looking forward to the change that will happen and am kinda excited about this new venture.
Anxiety; because I really don't know if I can do this.
Resolve; because I really think that I CAN do this.
Edginess; because I am fighting the habit to run out to the back deck and light one up, even though I'm not craving one. It really is just a habit, at this point. I know that the absolute cravings are yet to come, and I really, really dread that.
So, I am running the gamut of emotions just now while I sit here typing this post, and feeling the patch on my arm tingling away. I'm taking deep breaths and my lungs feel tight. I'll be glad when that feeling passes. I've been coughing a lot this morning.
Onward...
mommieoftwo
09-03-2006, 10:57 AM
April - your journal could just as well be mine. I felt all of this as well and still feel some of it. The sadness doesn't go away - I've read that you are supposed to just take it one day at a time and not to think about NEVER having another smoke - that seems way too final and let's face it - "we enjoy our smoke". So I've done this - I don't think about the future - just concentrate on making it through each day. Anxiety - this will go away and can be caused in part by withdrawal (which is over in 72 hours). You CAN do it! The edginess comes and goes but definitely does get better. I too never smoked indoors and love to be outside. It's been very awkward sitting on the porch - but that's starting to change. I sit in a different spot now and usually take a glass of water or tea with me to give me something to do. Hang in there. I really felt like giving up yesterday because my husband and I had a fight. I got in the car and drove to the store to buy smokes, but something just kept me from doing it. I'm pretty stubborn and I just couldn't imaging starting smoking again because I was mad at HIM!!! That would just be awful. But I will tell you - there are MANY MANY excuses that will present themselves to enable you to begin again. Just be prepared and take them one challenge at a time. See - this feels so good just to get it out - doesn't it? Go occupy your mind and just don't think about it today. Talk to you later April.
April R.
09-03-2006, 01:20 PM
Wow. I just went through about five minutes of Hell, craving a cigarette. That's twice this morning that that's happened.
We just got back from Sam's Club, the hubby and I, and I feel light-headed. I know why. It's because I'm getting more oxygen into my lungs now. I also feel a little strange, but I remember that happening before. I can deal with all of that. What I couldn't deal with before was the absolute feeling of despair I felt three weeks into my quit.
THIS time will be different because I'm now on Wellbutrin and have been for a few months.
But I've got to be honest..........I could really go for a cigarette just now. I know this feeling will pass eventually. But right now it feels like it won't.
Susan - thanks for saying that the edginess will get better. I've thought of those words this morning when I experienced those two episodes of craving. We can do this, Susan. Hell, you're ALREADY doing it. Don't give in, no matter what.
Onward...
We just got back from Sam's Club, the hubby and I, and I feel light-headed. I know why. It's because I'm getting more oxygen into my lungs now. I also feel a little strange, but I remember that happening before. I can deal with all of that. What I couldn't deal with before was the absolute feeling of despair I felt three weeks into my quit.
THIS time will be different because I'm now on Wellbutrin and have been for a few months.
But I've got to be honest..........I could really go for a cigarette just now. I know this feeling will pass eventually. But right now it feels like it won't.
Susan - thanks for saying that the edginess will get better. I've thought of those words this morning when I experienced those two episodes of craving. We can do this, Susan. Hell, you're ALREADY doing it. Don't give in, no matter what.
Onward...
April R.
09-03-2006, 01:43 PM
Okay, I know that I just posted 25 minutes ago, but I've got to write this down.
I was downstairs just now, in the study, putting down a chair mat for the rolling desk chair that sits in front of the computer and I was just fine. When I completed that task, I headed for my purse to get a cigarette.
Wow. I just realized something. I smoke out of habit, and not because I am craving a smoke. Now that I've thought about it for a few moments, I have been smoking after each and every task I complete at home or at the office. Sure, there have been times that I've desparately wanted a cigarette because I was craving one -- like after being in the movie theater for 2+ hours -- but this is something new. This wasn't that kind of craving. This was just something that I do after completing a task.
That's an amazing insight for me, and something that will help me cope with these feelings of wanting a cigarette. Now I'll just hafta figure out something else to do when I complete a task instead of thinking that I need to smoke.
Onward...
I was downstairs just now, in the study, putting down a chair mat for the rolling desk chair that sits in front of the computer and I was just fine. When I completed that task, I headed for my purse to get a cigarette.
Wow. I just realized something. I smoke out of habit, and not because I am craving a smoke. Now that I've thought about it for a few moments, I have been smoking after each and every task I complete at home or at the office. Sure, there have been times that I've desparately wanted a cigarette because I was craving one -- like after being in the movie theater for 2+ hours -- but this is something new. This wasn't that kind of craving. This was just something that I do after completing a task.
That's an amazing insight for me, and something that will help me cope with these feelings of wanting a cigarette. Now I'll just hafta figure out something else to do when I complete a task instead of thinking that I need to smoke.
Onward...
April R.
09-03-2006, 02:01 PM
Susan, you said this:
Anxiety - this will go away and can be caused in part by withdrawal (which is over in 72 hours).
I cannot TELL you how much that statement comforts me just now.
7 hours down.....65 hours to go.
I hope I can make it...
Anxiety - this will go away and can be caused in part by withdrawal (which is over in 72 hours).
I cannot TELL you how much that statement comforts me just now.
7 hours down.....65 hours to go.
I hope I can make it...
Deda
09-03-2006, 05:18 PM
7 hours down.....65 hours to go.
I hope I can make it...
April....
If you don't mind, could I make a small suggestion? Please don't risk your quit by having doubting thoughts like the one above...it's really that type of thinking that causes us to fail. (believe me...I failed so many times,..even twice after quitting for over a year) Think thoughts more along this line...
"I KNOW I WILL MAKE IT!"
It's a lot safer to think positive...please don't doubt yourself, April. You're no different than the rest of us that have quit,....we don't pocess any more willpower or knowledge than you, so you are just as capable of quitting as the rest of us who have already quit. (I always tried to remind myself that there were [literally] millions of people who had already quit before me...so I always thought, if those millions could do it, then there's no reason that I can't do it too! :)
Keep going, girl!
Deda
I hope I can make it...
April....
If you don't mind, could I make a small suggestion? Please don't risk your quit by having doubting thoughts like the one above...it's really that type of thinking that causes us to fail. (believe me...I failed so many times,..even twice after quitting for over a year) Think thoughts more along this line...
"I KNOW I WILL MAKE IT!"
It's a lot safer to think positive...please don't doubt yourself, April. You're no different than the rest of us that have quit,....we don't pocess any more willpower or knowledge than you, so you are just as capable of quitting as the rest of us who have already quit. (I always tried to remind myself that there were [literally] millions of people who had already quit before me...so I always thought, if those millions could do it, then there's no reason that I can't do it too! :)
Keep going, girl!
Deda
jjules
09-03-2006, 10:03 PM
April, I have been reading your journal so far and I am sooooo hoping you won't give into that smokin devil. ( I have failed so many times and I'm still failing!) I will give it up (know I will) it is so hard for many times there was that thought well I just mopped the floor geeezzz a cig would be good now and sometimes I did resist. Please just keep trying not to think about those nasty little torches. Keep postin when you are crazy with thoooose thoughts everyone here knows and understand and are so supportive. You can do it girl.....Jules;)
mommieoftwo
09-03-2006, 10:34 PM
Deda is right - we should be more positive. But - to be honest I thought/think the same things - Can I really do this? At the end of each smokefree day I just smile and remind myself how strong of a person I really am to have accomplished yet another day free from smoking. I too smoked after accomplishing the smallest task around the house. It was how I celebrated successful completion of certain mundane chores. There is something to look forward to though...NOW smokefree - there is plenty of time to do all the chores and more - and you just celebrate by doing something else...Wow - my house is sooooooooooo clean. heehee!